Reflections

As I reflect on my time in Africa, there is one question that I always come back to: What does it mean to impact a life? Living in Uganda where I was facing poverty everywhere I looked, it is hard not to just see the big picture of poverty and feel overwhelmed. It's so much better for your motivation and sanity to be able to look at individuals instead of populations; communities instead of countries. None of us can solve the problem of poverty, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I think the best thing is to focus on what's POSSIBLE. That means starting with one person and doing what you can to help them out. Or finding one issue to get really passionate about. If everybody gave their best shot at something small instead of giving up in the face of huge issues, there could be real progress.

I have been asked many times by my mother to address the italic statement at the top of my blog. I have been putting it off because, though I wrote it with the best of intentions, I didn't really think about it again after I put it there. Here is what it says:

As a Christian, how should I be living my life? I have to ask myself this question sometimes. In the middle of this crazy, fast paced world that we are living in, I still want my answer to remain the same - my life should be lived for God and for others. This semester I will be studying in Rwanda and Uganda, and doing mission work with Food for the Hungry. These next few months I want to make a drastic change in my life by living not for myself, but for others. Through my studies and my interactions I hope to find a new and better understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I want to leave with no question in my mind that there is so much more to my life than my own happiness. I want to make my Creator proud, by loving his children.

Well, going to Africa was definitely a drastic change. Everything was new and foreign. I don't think I was able to change my mindset to only thinking about others. I would say that I definitely started caring a lot more about community. Our group of 16 became my new family and group concerns became my own, but I am ashamed to say that that was the extent of most of the outward thinking that I did. I do have a better understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I know now that because we are ALL God's children, it is so much more important to think in terms of a world community, not just separate countries. I should feel just as much neighborly love towards people I meet across the world as the ones that are living on my street (the ones I, honestly, still haven't met). I came away from the semester knowing with out a doubt that there is more to my life than my own happiness, and that my own happiness will increase when I look to the happiness of others. I truly hope that the way I lived my life this semester made my Creator proud.

I have been home for two weeks now. I haven't had much time to think about my time in Africa. I had expected to do a lot more processing and reflection, but life has been too busy. I really miss life in Africa. It was exciting and there was something unexpected about every day. I think it took me such a long time to adjust to life in Africa because everything was always new and different. Being home, it is easy just to get back into regular US life. Things here aren't exciting and they don't really change all that much. Driving was hard at first ( I accidentally drove on the wrong side a couple times). There are also so many choices that I could go crazy just picking out cereal. My favorite thing besides sleeping in my bed, is getting fresh clean water from any faucet in the house. It's a little bit hard not to get upset when people are ignorant. I have to remember that I didn't even know where to find Uganda on a map until I signed up for the semester. Many people are content to live in their own little bubbles, and not care about the struggling world we live in.

There are so many reasons to be happy to live in the United States. I was blessed to be born in a free country where I have access to education, health care, and the right to the pursuit of happiness. I am able to thrive, while many others in this world are only barely able to survive.

I can't wait to get back to Africa. One day I will find myself riding along a bumpy dirt road with orange dust flying up in my wake, the thatched rooftops of huts popping up from the top of the tall grasses around me, and the thrill of Africa running through my veins again.

Broccoli Salad Recipe

On Mother's Day, Marina and I were going to make dinner. I was getting a craving for the broccoli salad that our cook, Grace, used to make us in Kampala. Luckily I had the recipe. It is very simple, and the whole family agreed that it is delicious. Give it a try!

Broccoli Salad:

1. Package of broccoli (raw) - cut heads into little pieces

2. Bacon - fried and crumbled

3. 1/4-1/2 cup of Vidalia or sweet onion - diced small

Sauce:

1cup Mayonnaise

1/3 cup Sugar

2Tbs Vinegar

(Mix sauce to taste and then blend with other ingredients)

This tastes even better the next day.

Things about Uganda, Things about the USA

On the plane ride home, I started to make a list of comparisons between Uganda and the USA. Here is what I have come up with so far:

USA:

We consider it a right to have access to free public bathrooms, which should be decently clean, and have toilet paper provided.

Tap water is always free and safe to drink, and yet we insist on buying bottled water.

Waiting more than 30min for food to come at a restaurant is reason to complain, and possibly get you a free meal.

Going 24 hours without the internet is considered "being off the map/radar" or "roughing it", and leaving the house without a cell phone can ruin someone's day.

Where we have our phone calendars to remind us what our schedule is, and make sure we are on time.

Where house guests are a burden, and we are relieved when they leave.

We are very concerned with being politically correct, and we don't point out the color of people's skin if we can help it.

Where we don't know our neighbors.

Kids need TV, video games, the internet and cell phones to have fun.

When asked to perform one of our "traditional" dances, all we could come up with was the Macarena and the "Soldia Boi". (talk about embarrassing)

When speeches are given, they are relatively short and to the point.

Being on time is expected of everyone. It is very rude to be late. The more respect we have for a person or event, the earlier we show up. Having another engagement is more than enough reason to cut short the event that is currently taking places.

Some things must be free -water and public libraries

Illegal downloading in punishable by fines or imprisonment.

We pay MORE for our food to be fresh. Otherwise it is full of preservatives, and artificial flavors and colors. We can't pronounce every ingredient on the label. And we want our meat to be pre-packaged so that we don't have to see where it came from, or take part in the butchering process.

UGANDA

Public bathrooms are normally just a whole in the ground that you must pay to use. Sometimes you are better of going to the bathroom in the bushes because it's cleaner and there are less flies.

Washing hands before a meal means getting them wet.

Guests are a gift. No expense is spared to make them feel at home.

Calling us "Mzungu" is not an insult, it's the truth. We ARE rich, white people, so let's own up to that fact. Even the poorest college kid in our country who is living off loans in America, would be wealthy here.

We take a "short call" when we go to the bathroom (or a "long call")

Kids get hours of enjoyment from rolling around an old tire with a stick, or (gasp) using their imaginations.

Hours can be spent hitting the calabash and doing traditional dances.

Time is not linear - it is event after event. Show up when you are ready, leave when you are ready. Don't rush; Don't hurry. If you finish today's work, read the newspaper until 5 and start tomorrow's work tomorrow.

If you need an umbrella, pick a banana leaf off of a nearby tree.

People carry around buckets of roasted grasshoppers - a delicacy to eat.

The only movies you can buy are bootlegged. (And what could be better than watching a movie that was video taped in the theaters?)

The phrase "Ohhh, sorry, sorry, sorry" is used when somebody else stubs their tow, falls, drops something..etc.

People say "The what? the ____". For example: "I was going to the what? The store."

Guys walk down the street holding hands, and nobody thinks anything of it. But being homosexual is illegal. (How do they know the difference, if guys are always holding each other's hands?)

Knees are considered private parts. Cover them up!

Food is always fresh. Kill your own chicken so that you know where it came from.

Being home

It's interesting that I wrote a blog post almost every day of my trip, but now that I am home, I have writer's block. It was hard getting motivated to write this one.

Being back is nice, but strange. It's so easy to feel at home in your own house when everything is so nice. But at the same time, I'm not completely comfortable being back. It's hard not to want to talk about Africa all the time. It's probably the most important thing to happen to me, and it's always on my mind. It feels like since my family already read my blog, they don't feel the need to ask me about my semester. I'm not upset about this, but my return is very much out-shadowed by the preparations for my adopted brother who comes home next Tuesday. I'm so excited for him to come, and there is a lot to do to get ready, so my trip is kind of on the back burner and I will continue processing on my own.

I love getting to see my friends. I am always leaving them to go to school, or abroad. It's nice to know I will be here this summer and able to see them. Church on Sunday was great. I love seeing everyone there, and I got a lot of hugs. I also enjoy that the service is not three hours long, or outside in the heat.

Speaking of heat, I am cold! It is SO COLD here. I am living in sweatpants and sweaters. I just spent a semester being too hot all the time; where just laying down could make me sweat. And now I am in Massachusetts shivering.

I've noticed that I am no longer such a germaphobe. I walked into a Denny's bathroom with my friend and she said "this bathroom is so gross!". I looked around thinking the exact opposite. I remembered one latrine I used where I had to hold my breath, and I couldn't even see the floor because it was crawling with flies. Our public bathrooms are like paradise, and I do not mind using them at all.

It was Mom's last Mother's Day with only two kids, since Auguste comes next week from Haiti. We picked up Dad at the airport Monday night, after his Africa trip. Now we have less than a week as a family of four. Now I think we are all getting a bit nervous about the new addition to the family. We have always been incredibly excited, but it's going to be so new having a teenage brother in the house. We aren't sure what to expect.

The Journey Home

My last post was from the London Heathrow Airport. That place is nuts! It's huge and shiny and everything is very rich and modern. I'm glad we didn't hang out in there for too long. We got on our British Airways flight to the Phoenix Arizona and I was looking forward to watching a few movies, and having the time pass quickly. Unfortunately, the on flight entertainment system wasn't working, so there were no movies to watch.You know you are in the western world when everyone is upset about their individual TVs not working.

I was seated next to a very cute couple from France that were on their 50th wedding anniversary trip to the USA, to tour around the west with a bunch of other French tourists. They were very sweet, but spoke almost no English, so we communicated a little bit with gestures. It was a very long ten hours to get to Phoenix. I did a lot of getting up and walking around the plane. At one point I went to the back and struck up a conversation with a man that was on his way back from Kuwait. We talked about the months we had spent abroad and what we had experienced in the other cultures. It's always nice talking to somebody that understands the transition.

When we had landed and gone through customs, we were able to get our bags checked to the next airline. We said our goodbyes and hugged, and then our group split up again. Tim, Susan, Rachel, Nathan and I had a few hours before our next flights, so we stuck together. Tim was the first to leave. The four of us had about five hours until our flight to Atlanta, GA (all of us were going to GA, but Nathan was on a separate plane). We went to a cafe to get some food and were shocked at how expensive things were. Refusing to pay so much for a meal, I chose a cheap bagel and water. It was fun to use my real cell phone and call my friends, who were all excited to hear that I was back in the States.

At 11:50, Susan, Rachel and I boarded our flight to Atlanta, GA. There is a BIG difference between British Airways and Delta. British Airways had nice, comfortable seats, friendly flight attendants, and served two meals and plenty of refreshments. Delta had teeny tiny seats, grumpy looking attendants, and served us a snack which consisted of about 5 peanuts in a teeny bag. Is the economy really SO bad that's all they can't afford a bigger snack? At a certain point, it seems like a waste of packaging if the contents are so little. Anyways, I was hungry. We left at 11:50 and got to GA at 6:45am. Susan took Rachel and I to eat breakfast at one of the restaurants. She left us within a few minutes because she was so excited to go see her parents. Rachel and I had a nice breakfast. It's funny because she and I started this trip together in January when we were seated next to each other on the plane to Phoenix. We said our goodbyes and I went to board my 8:15 flight to Boston. I sat next to some nice ladies on that flight that asked me about my trip.

I was SO excited to get off the plane when we landed. I practically ran all the way to the baggage claim to hug Mom. Delta lost one of my bags, so we waited for 45min to see if it was coming on the next flight, which it wasn't. Delta assured us that they would drive it to my house within 12 hours of finding it. I was more than tired when we finally got home. It was so great to see Mom and Marina. Dad was in Namibia with his friend, so he wasn't there for my return.

Mom and I went to the grocery store to get a few things. I decided to wait in the car. Mom chose to do a full shopping trip instead of just grabbing the few items we had discussed. After waiting for a while I started to get worried. I went into the store and was overwhelmed by how big it was. I walked around the entire store and couldn't finder her anywhere, which made me start to panic. It was embarrassing that a grocery store was so overwhelming, so I went back outside and finally spotted her through a window. What's the deal with such big stores? Is it really necessary for us to have so many choices?

I laid out all of my souvenirs on my floor and ate dinner with Mom. My friend Meaghan came by to see me, which was awesome. We talked until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and had to go to bed.

I am really very glad to be home, and sleeping in my wonderfully comfy bed and eating great food.

Sitting in London

Yesterdays flight to London was probably the best flight I have ever been on.

We left the guesthouse at 5am and drove to the Entebbe airport. I remembered our first ride in Uganda when we got here in January and I realized how now, everything looks familiar. Life in Uganda is normal for me, life in the States seems so foreign and far away. At the airport, we waited outside until the ticket counter opened. I didn't realize that a few people had already asked the security guard if we could enter, so I asked, and the guy seemed really annoyed. i overheard him commenting on how impatient we were. hmmm.. I thought Africa would have cured me of impatience by now, but I guess not. When we got to the gate, we ran into other students from Messiah that had studied here with the Ugandan Studies Program, so we chatted with them.

The flight to London was fantastic. THe lady sitting next to me wouldn't trade her aisle seat for my window seat, so I moved to an empty row, and Tim joined me. We chatted for a while and then decided to buy a box of delicious looking strawberry champagne chocolates from the SkyMall catalog. Our flight attendants were so friendly, and had the sweetest accents. They started joking that I was always asking them questions... because I did every time they walked by. The chocolates were delicious; an absolute delicacy. We watched a few movies, and were disappointed when the entertainment was turned off 40min before landing. I think all of the traveling by bus that we have done this semester made this flight seem like a vacation. There were no potholes to jiggle us around, and we all had our own TVs to watch. I almost didn't want to get off.

In London, we checked into the Quality hotel. We joked that they didn't tell us what kind of "quality" it was; but we soon found out that it was a very nice place to stay. I was roommates with Janae and Cassie. We decided to go find a pub that was supposedly just down the road. We ended up walking for 45min down a bike path until we got to the Royal Stag Pub. It was a nice walk, but London is COLD! There was absolutely no sun in the sky (which was actually the first thing I noticed when we got here). The food at the pub was delicious. I ordered a burger with sparkling apple juice. Our server was also very friendly (and probably a little bit amused at how enthusiastic we were about the menu).

For some reason I got really overwhelmed while we were waiting for our food. It had been a great day, so I don't know what the problem was. Michael Pucci had said that one of the symptoms of reverse culture shock is feeling strong emotions at strange times. A few people asked if I was okay and I tried to pass it off as nothing, but then I burst into tears. Kate took me outside to talk, and Cassie came out to give me a hug. I was okay after that.

We walked back and had the best showers we've taken in four months, and an amazingly comfortable nights sleep. This morning we had a fabulous breakfast, which almost set me off crying again because there were too many options.

We have been at the London Heathrow airport for four hours. Luckily flights are able to leave Europe. We weren't sure if the volcanic ash would have cleared by now. This airport is like a palace. Everything in bright and shiny. There are Prada, Dolce and Gabbana and other high end stores everywhere. I feel like a kid in a candy shop. But it is hard to see so much materialism. I had no desire to buy anything here, it's just so fancy to look at! We bought some great food to eat, and I bought some internet vouchers to use. Now it's about time to leave.

Next stop, America!!

Farewell to Africa

Is this really happening? Is the semester really over? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was counting down the days to come here? Astonishing how time flies. I really don't know how I feel. I am excited to go home, but I don't want to leave. Can't you ever have both?

We spent the day hanging around the house. I did some laundry and packing. We played a fun game of volleyball. Our street looks like a parking lot, it's so crowded! Mr. Zzimwe, who our street is named after, died this week. He is some kind of big shot, important person. The President of Uganda was going to stop by to pay his respects as well. In Uganda, when somebody dies, everyone is expected to pay respects. It is very offensive to not approach the family and say how sorry you are. All day we have been hearing people giving speeches and singing at the funeral. You can barely drive down the street it is so mobbed! But I think it is really nice how supportive people are when there is a death.

I got a call from my cousin Sabrina that she was on her way to come see me. Sabrina lives in Canada and I haven't seen her since we were about ten years old. She came to Uganda two days ago to work here for a month and a half. I waited for her at the gate and it was really awesome to see her again! I showed her around the house and realized that I am actually a little bit embarrassed by how nice it is and how much we were spoiled this semester. She and I got a ride down to where she is working. I met her team, and all of them seemed really nice. We walked up to the youth center they are helping at and I wish I had found this place earlier! It was a nice park and there was a public swimming pool! It was really cool to talk with people that had just arrived and were full of excitement and enthusiasm. I was a little shocked when I saw how most of the girls were dressing. They hadn't been told that they should cover their knees, so most of the girls were in super short shorts. After a semester of stressing over showing too much skin, it's almost ingrained in my mind to cover my knees. I politely mentioned it, and later gave Sabrina some of my capris that I am leaving behind. One of the Ugandans that she is staying with walked us back up the hill (she's really close by!). I took them to Ciao-Ciaos so that they could understand my obsession. I gave her a bag of clothes and filled up her water bottle (the mother in me was worried). It was a little sad saying goodbye, because i would have loved to keep hanging out, but i am sure when she gets back we will get our families together and talk about Africa!

There wasn't taco meat left so I had a guacamole burrito for dinner. We went to Ciao-Ciao again for our last time. UGH! I don't want to leave Africa! I love this place.

Our schedule:

Leave tomorrow at 5am.

Fly to London, 23 hr layover

Fly to Phoenix, AZ and get there 5pm Thursday

11:50 flight to GA with Susan, Puvii, Rachel and Nathan

Fly to Boston, MA and get there at 11:15 Friday morning.

Can I just put myself on autopilot and sleep through all this traveling?

Debriefing Sessions #2 & #3

Today we did two debriefing session. The first one was at ten.. I woke up to Kate yelling "it's time for debriefing!!" (I knew I should have checked the board last night to see the schedule).

Session #2 of debriefing was about Transformation.

We talked about what kinds of transformations we have been through this semester. We are all shaped by our experiences.

We all shared what our most beautiful moment was.

Mine: At the infant care center, I walked in and picked a very dirty toddler up off the ground. One of the ladies that worked there ran over and took him from to give him a bath before I held him any longer. After getting a bath and a clean pair of pajamas, the little boy was set back on the ground. He ran over to me and latched onto my leg. When I picked him up and sat down to hold him, the little boy wrapped his arms as far around my waist as he could and hugged me. He was holding me as much as I was holding him.

We shared moments where we knew that God was there, loving his children.

Mine: It is such a God thing that babies have an 80% chance of not getting HIV from their HIV positive mothers if they aren't breast fed. God's looking out for his little ones. That little boy I held... his mother died of AIDs, but he didn't get it from her.

We talked about how all of us came to Africa with preconceived ideas about poverty and how to fix it. But we are leaving Africa very confused. The more you learn, the less you fully understand.

I want to live a transformed life when I get back. That will mean pushing back against the culture that will try to force me into sliding back into my old life.

Session #3 - What to expect when we go home. Here are a few things we discussed

If we go home and communicate with people for the sole purpose of being understood, we will be disappointed. We need to realize the other person's perspective and just work on having an open relationship with communication on both sides.

Symptoms of reverse culture shock:

1. Loss of appetite. - indicating inner discomfort

2. Displays of emotions that don't make sense in the context- like bursts of anger or sadness

3. Making comparisons between cultures and being quick to pick out negatives

4. Alienation- feeling like people don't care and wont understand.

We have to remember that the people who care about us realize how important this has been for us, but they may not be able to take it in.

America culture is like pre-chewed food. What we had here has been raw and authentic.

We are not saints for coming to Africa. If we can do it, you can too!

We hung out, ate yummy food and I watched some more Big Bang Theory. I tried to sit out in the sun and get some more color (since I have a farmers tan), but I lost interest and went back inside. Cassie and I watched "The Fall" together. It was an interesting movie, and I liked it. It was also good to spend some time with Cassie since practicum made her into a kind of sister for me.

We got into a really intense game of Mafia. This group loves mysteries. Our group playing Mafia is more fun than watching TV. We are all accusing each other and using a mix of logic, truth and gut feelings to figure out who the murderers are. I have never like that game until now. It is addicting when you play with such passionate arguers. Man I will miss these people.

Debriefing Session #1

Today was our first debriefing session before we leave Africa. Michael Pucci is our leader. Here are a few of the things we talked about:

The stages of grieving are very similar to the stages of processing what we have seen and done in Africa this semester.

1. Denial- Pretending the tough things we have seen like poverty and genocide don't exist. It is so easy for us to tune hard things out because we don't want to feel the pain of admitting they are real. We live in an anesthetic culture- one that doesn't want to feel pain. But it's OKAY to feel pain. There are things wrong with our world that SHOULD cause us pain.

2. Anger- Being angry at the world, government, God..etc. This is a necessary phase that cannot be skipped if you believe that evil exists in the world. We need to be aware of our anger and watch ourselves. In what ways am I angry? How and to whom do I express it?

3.Bargaining- A way of trying to regain control. We reduce what we are seeing, and simplify reality so that we can fit it into a category and have control. What we should see from all of our experiences is how powerless we are to stop poverty and genocide completely.

4.Sadness- Realizing that things like poverty and genocide are real should make us sad. Poverty exists. Genocide exists. People really do treat each other like this. Sadness is real and important.

5.Ownership- This is compassion, not complacency. This is a real world. Everything we do has real consequences. Nothing in the world is fixed or permanent. This is good news! It means that everyone can make a difference just by doing something!

Do you believe that the power of the living God is within you? Then show it! Make some sparks fly!

The outcome of GoEd Africa is not understanding.. it's ownership! It's the loss of sleep we will feel when we have names and faces circling around in our head, and knowing that we can make a difference in the lives of the people we have met.

When we get back to the States we should be changed people. This is the kind of experience that "messes up the furniture". If there aren't apparent changes, we probably aren't processing what we've been through.

We split into groups and I was the only one that was in the Anger stage of processing. Michael came over and talked with me about it. I am a passionate person, but normally not an angry one. Right now I have a hard time not being set off by things in the USA. It fills me with righteous anger when people don't understand how completely blessed they are. It really disgusts me the way people in our country can be so rich have so many possessions, and lose sight of everything that is really important. When people complain I just want to shake them and tell them to gain some perspective. Really? You hate our government? Go live under a military dictator and tell me how you feel after that. Look around you! You don't have to go to Africa to see neighbors that are suffering and in need. Sometimes I think that the entire USA is in a state of denial. .. Okay, I think you get the point. I am in the Angry phase. Michael and I talked about how the anger is real, but we have to be gentle and loving with people, even if they do need a good shaking. He said part of loving people is leading them in the right direction, framing criticism in a way that lifts people up to their full potential. I really hope that I will be able to hold my tongue instead of hurting people with my honest thoughts.

I asked Michael if I would every be comfortable again. He said that it's important to remember that we are all pilgrims on our way to the Kingdom.. we are just passing through, so we should never be fully comfortable on this Earth. Maybe we aren't ever supposed to feel content with the world.

It was a really good session. Just talking about my anger showed me how much passionate frustration I really have.

This morning we had our own little church service. We sung some songs and everyone shared something. Instead of speaking, I played this amazing song by Nichole Nordeman called "Gratitude". Look it up. It is a song that really speaks to me when I think about this semester. We spent a lot of time talking. Ate lunch ( I was psyched about sandwiches that had CHEESE in them). I packed my suitcases, and believe it or not I have one checked bag that is under the weight limit, and two carry-ons that are not as heavy as I thought they would be. We played volleyball. It is so much fun to play when everyone is horrible at the game, because then it is okay to look like a spaz when you do a turning leap to hit the ball in the wrong direction. Cassie and I watched Sherlock Holmes. We ate dinner and then watched some other strange movie that I didn't pay attention to. Now it is time for bed.

I can't believe that I will be home in less than 5 days.

Unexpected Good Health

I am a bit of a hypochondriac. I have been so paranoid this entire trip that I would get sick. I was very careful about washing my hands and not contaminating my toothbrush, among other things. Everyone made fun of me for being so careful, but it was worth it.

We spent the morning in Dr. Stockley's office. We dropped off our stool samples and then waited to get called back into the lab. When it was my turn, the nurse asked me a few questions and said that since I was in the Nile and Lake Kivu, I need to get tested for Bilharzia. They pricked my finger instead of drawing blood, which only made me mildly queasy. Everyone got their results before I did. Most people had yeast infections. One person had Bilharzia, and another had an amoeba. I was certain that they were saving my diagnosis for last because it was the worst. When I got called back, the nurse smiled at me and said "You are a lucky one, no infections, Billarzia or amoebas. You are healthy!" You have no idea how relieved I was. It meant i only had to pay 30,000UGsh (15 dollars), which is just about all that I had left.

Guess my paranoia paid off (literally).

We got dropped off at Cafe Roma and had some wonderful Tropical Pizza (Hawaiian). On the way back, Brittney and I saw a matatu and rode it down the hill instead of walking. Lame? maybe. But I don't feel the need to be drenched in sweat all the time, thank you very much.

I just put the finishing touches on my final paper and proof read my journal entries. In an hour we will give our practicum presentations for Grace Kibuye, Michael Pucci and Kate. They should be pretty informal since they aren't being graded. Now I have no more school work until the fall! I cannot believe the semester is over!

Last Friday in Africa

Woke up early because the Kitgum group was doing devotions for the staff. We sung some songs and then told about what we were doing on our practicum. It was really cool to get to share about our experiences for the staff in Kampala.

After breakfast, Tim, Ryan and I got a ride with Kate to the Friday market. We shopped around until the guys wanted to go, then walked home. I realized when we got home that I had wanted to buy a few more things, so Ryan and I hired Godwin to drive us back again. I am now officially down to my last few dollars/shillings. I have been trying to figure out how I am going to bring all of this home, I think I am going to have to leave all of my clothes behind.

Tomorrow we go to visit the famous Dr. Stockley. Do you remember my post about his visit to warn us about the things we could catch in Africa? Well, it is now time to find out what parasites and amoebas I have picked up. Can you believe that I am not terrified? Well, I guess I am a bit nervous of the procedures, but I have accepted that I might be feeding another little organism every time I eat. At dinner we were all given our little stool sample cups. Nothing scary, just a little spoon inside a tube. As usual among our little African family, we discussed in great detail how to give a stool sample, while we ate. Yum. I told everyone that if I faint tomorrow, to tell the nurse to take my blood sample while I am passed out.. so that I don't have to faint twice. I am sure it will be an exciting adventure. Lets just hope there isn't anything seriously wrong.. I don't have enough shillings to pay for it.. spent to much on souvenirs.

MOM- call me tonight please, it's been a while!

Journey Back to Kampala

Tuesday night we had our going away party in Kitgum. We all went to the Bombah Hotel and had a nice dinner. Unfortunately for me, they forgot my food and I didn't get it until an hour after everyone else had finished. Ugandans love speeches. Moses, the MC, entertained us with brain teasers, jokes and words of wisdom. He called on others to give speeches as well. When it was our turn to talk, the four of us students spoke for about 30seconds each. what we said was appreciative and sentimental, but concise. When Pius got up, he said "one thing we have learned from the Go Ed students is how to give a short speech!" When I finally got my food, I started feeling really sick. With my body, if I wait to long to eat I will feel sick when I finally do get to eat.

Back at the guest house for our last night in Kitgum, I amused myself with a box of matches. I rolled little logs out of napkins and set up a mini campfire in one of the metal candle holders. It was really pretty. I tucked my mosquito net in for the last time in that bed and slept soundly.

Wednesday morning we left Kitgum around 11am. It was sad saying goodbye to the people I had worked with. The drive to Mbale went well. I was able to sleep for most of it thanks to a motion sickness pill that I had gotten from Susan a month ago. We got to Mbale around 5pm and walked into town to find Susan and Nathan. It was so good to see them again!

We drove to their supervisor Moses's house. Moses has bleeding stomach ulcers, so we all went to pay our respects. I started getting queasy when his wife was telling us about his condition. Then we went into his room to see him. There were a lot of us crammed into a small room and I started getting hot. In the middle of our prayer for his recovery, I started feeling myself lose conciousness. my vision went black, so I sat down until the prayer ended. I was trying to sign the guestbook but my hand was shaking too hard, so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked into the hall I collapsed on the floor. Moses's wife and another lady ran over and helped me walk outside where I started throwing up. It was not fun. I think I may have been dehydrated. When the others had finished with the visit, we all went home and I made sure to drink a lot of water. The Ugandans were convinced I had malaria, but I didn't want to go to a clinic and get tested, I was sure the problem was not drinking enough water.

Janae and Brittney were there when we got home. It was so fun to have our team reunited. We ate dinner, talked and then went to bed. The next morning we waited for our driver for an hour and finally called his cell to find out that he was just finishing up his breakfast. The ride to Kampala wasn't so bad. I am good at falling into a half conscious state so that I cant semi-sleep through long amounts of traveling.

We pulled into the Kampala guest house and were greeted by Kate, Grace Kibuye and Micheal Pucci. It was cool to see Michael because we started our journey with him in Phoenix, and now he is here to help us end the semester. I sprinted upstairs to take a shower. Then we had a wonderful lunch of fruit salad, macaroni and cheese, and salad! I was so happy to eat different foods again. We went over to the FH office and checked our email since the power in the guest house was off. We had Ciao-Ciaos and ate a wonderful dinner. At dinner we talked about our practicums with Kate.

I felt really sick after dinner so I went to bed early

Leaving Kitgum

Yesterday we found out that we are leaving Kitgum a day earlier than we had thought. It was sad to greet people around the office and realize that I will very soon have to say goodbye to them. I don't want to!

So today is our last day in Northern Uganda. The guys killed their first chickens today. They made sure that I video taped them sawing the heads off the small white hens that were bought this morning. Brings back memories of killing a chicken myself a few months ago on rural visit. At least they didn't have to pluck out the feathers! I spent the morning typing up more registration forms. Now I am waiting around at the office for somebody to come back from the field with more forms to type. It rained after lunch, so I stood out in it until I was soaking wet. I will forever be the crazy white girl that stands out in the rain.

Tonight we are having a going away celebration at the Bombas Hotel in town. Tomorrow morning, Godwin (our hired driver) will pick us up and drive us to Mbale. We will spend the night with Susan and Nathan in Mbale. Thursday we will drive back to Kampala after Godwin has picked up Janae and Brittney from the top of the mountain. I am excited to get back to Kampala, and wish we could just do the whole trip in one day. Can't wait to have a warm shower and some Ciao-Ciaos ice cream.

At the same time, I am truly going to miss Kitgum and the people I have met here. I am definitely going to try to come back when I can; probably after I graduate.

Gulu on Sunday

Sunday morning we were ready to go to Gulu at 9:30. Seydou, another FH employee, had offered to drive us out, so he was also ready to go. However, our show could not get on the road because one of the guards decided to wash the Land Rover before we took it out. I asked Pius why he needed to clean it, and Pius said "It's a good practice to start a journey with a clean vehicle". Fair enough. We left at 10:15 for the two hour drive to Gulu. When we passes the sign that said "Gule- 85 KM", Tim had a little moment when he realized that it was going to be a long ride. I think he spaced out the "two hour drive" part of our discussion on taking the trip. Halfway through the drive I was starting to wish we hadn't gone. You have no idea just how bumpy roads can be until you experience this!

When we got to Gulu we drove around trying to find a restaurant that serves pizza. We found this really cool place called Kope Cafe. All of the profits from the cafe are donated to an organization that helps the children there. Inside, the walls were painted with murals of Africa landscapes. It was a really cool environment. We got our pizza and it wasn't at all what we were longing for. The sauce was mixed with curry, which could have been a good combination, but it wasn't. Oh well. We spent a few hours eating and talking. It was nice to get out of our normal setting.

My purpose for visiting Gulu was to try to find the One Mango Tree workshop. The lady who started the organization had told me a few weeks ago how to find Cafe Larem, where I could ask for directions to the workshop. When we got to the cafe, they were selling crafts from the workshop, but had no idea where it was. We got a number to call, and a lady told us how to get there, but since it was Sunday, there was nobody there working or able to let us in and show us around. Frustrating, but I should have anticipated that Sunday is not the best day to visit a workshop.

We walked around the market in Gulu and I bought myself a big rolling suitcase. I already nearly broke my back carrying my stuff to Africa, I would rather be able to roll my souvenirs home. I keep kicking myself when I remember packing for Africa and refusing to bring a rolling suitcase because I wanted to say I just brought a duffel bag. Dumb idea, but easily resolved by going to the market and buying a cheap suitcase with somebody else's name still written on it.

We drove home and I went online for a bit and then finished typing the registration forms for Monday morning.

Saturday Night

We came home and I wrote some more of my final paper. As I was walking out of my room I found a note taped to the back of the door. It was the first clue of a treasure hunt to find a Hello Kitty lunch box and a shoe that the guys had stolen from us. (Don't ask what possessed me to actually buy a Hello Kitty character lunch box.. it was a lapse of judgment to be sure). So after dinner, Cassie and I set out on our treasure hunt to recover the missing treasures. The guys had us walking back and forth across the compound. The lunch box and shoe were hidden under our beds. I must say it was a very cute and fun idea. Who invented the first treasure hunt? The pirates?

We sat down in the guy's hut and watched Avatar. I really liked it. I have been trying all night to get in contact with our ride tomorrow to Gulu but no luck so far.. Hope it still happens.

More thoughts about giving

I think it would be a good idea for me to clarify a little bit more my thoughts on giving. My views have changed since I came to Africa.

Here is what I believe after four months of living in Africa:

I don't just give out money to people who ask for it. It is completely counter productive. Giving a little bit of money doesn't help. It will maybe feed a person for a day, and there is no way to be sure that a stranger would use the money for the purposes he or she claims. And giving out small amounts of money just reinforces begging. In Kampala they have laws against giving out money to street children who are begging. Parents in the north have been sending their children to the streets of Kampala to beg because it is an easy way to get money. For a country that is trying to lift itself out of poverty, it is really important for people to learn to help themselves. That is why Food for the Hungry has programs that give people job opportunities where they can make their own money, and programs that teach people how to use their money wisely. Uganda went through twenty years of war, in which they got used to getting food and money from organizations that were trying to help. That did a lot of harm because now there is an entire generation of people that don't have the skills to make help themselves because they are used to free hand-outs.

At this point, I will only give my money to people that I know personally and trust that they will put the money to good use. It is even better if I can give clothes or food. I prefer to give money to organizations that will help communities help themselves. I know that it is harder for people who have not lived long term in a developing country to understand why I don't just give things to people when they ask. I am sure it seems ungenerous, and selfish. That is why I wanted to let everyone know why I feel this way, and the good reasons why me and many other people who have stayed for a while don't give handouts.

A Much Needed, Lovely Saturday

I'm not sure how much better a Saturday could get!

This morning I woke up to a gray and rainy sky. You have no idea how much I love it when it rains. It was so cool that I was actually able to wear my fleece sweater. Had a yummy breakfast of egg sandwiches and banana dipped in g-nut sauce. Consy had finished my skirt and dress. They are both really beautiful and I am so glad that I gave her the business instead of bringing the fabric home. Not to mention it was very inexpensive, though I tried to give her more than she would normally receive. I gave her three more pieces of fabric for some more dresses.

At 10:30, our new friend Summer came to pick us up. Summer is the wife of the pastor that preaches here on Sundays. The recently moved to Kitgum with their eleven children (two biological and nine adopted). Summer took us to an infant care center in Kitgum. Unfortunately, Cassie couldn't come with us, but Ryan, Tim and I had a wonderful time. The infant care center has about three rooms that are lined with beds. There is a small courtyard which is where we played with the kids.

When I first walked in, there was a toddler in a ragged and dirty shirt sitting in the dirt. I picked him up and held him for a few minutes. One of the ladies that was taking care of them took the baby from me to give him a bath, since he was a little bit on the filthy side. When he was clean, they put him in a pair of onesie PJs and set him back down. He waddled over to me and hugged my leg, so I picked him up and sat in a chair. When I sat down he immediately wrapped his tiny arms around my stomach and snuggled into my chest. Tears came to my eyes as I stared down at this beautiful and loving little baby that was breaking my heart just by holding me as tight as I was holding him. After snuggling with me for a few minutes, he sat up on my lap and started playing around. he was high-fiveing and fist-pounding me, and then giggling as I bounced him up and down in the air. I wanted to take him home with me so badly. Is twenty too young to have an adopted baby boy?

Somebody sat his twin brother down in the chair next to us. Summer came over and told me that only one of the twins had contracted HIV from the mother, because there is actually an 80% chance, that if the child isn't breast fed, they wont contract the disease. I almost cried again thinking of one twin having to lose his brother to HIV. I was sad that we had to leave and say goodbye to all of the darling children. I wish we had visited the place earlier on because I would have loved to make playing with the kids part of the routine.

We drove over to Summer and Zane's house. It's a cute little house with a yard and a trampoline for the kids to play on. The house was very nice and comfortable inside. Summer home schools all of her children, and they are sweethearts. We talked for a while and then had a nice lunch. I was amazed at how well behaved their children are. I really could see myself living a similar life. When I go to orphanages I can completely understand how somebody could end up with nine adopted kids. One of their newest children was from the home we visited today. He is about two years old, but the size of an infant because he was so malnourished. I am so glad that he is in a good home where he can grow and thrive. We brought cookies and Nutella to share as a dessert. It was a really enjoyable afternoon.

Now we are back at the house relaxing. I am hoping that it works out going to Gulu tomorrow. I want to stop by the One Mango Tree workshop. It's an organization created by a lady that my aunt and uncle know. The four of us are going to spend the day there. I hear it has some cool markets for shopping and a nice restaurant.

CFW Training & I am not an ATM machine

These last two days I have been going with the LEARN/Engineering team to teach the community Road Assistants how to build roads. FH is a fan of the "cascade effect"; we taught the Road Assistants, who will then teach the group of workers that are working under them.

In the morning, the six of us (plus Alfred the driver), pile into the Land Rover and hit the road. Because I am thin, I am squished into the back with another person and all of the tools and teaching materials. It is a tight fit, and it takes a lot for me to stop myself from feeling claustrophobic. We drive for half an hour until we get to one of the sub counties. On Wednesday, we used the FH office as a classroom, but on Thursday we taught in the classrooms of a primary school. There are around 30 Road Assistants that attend the training in each sub-county. The lessons go all morning and afternoon. Our engineers draw diagrams and explain the process of clearing the land, stripping the soil, and constructing the road. We stop around 12 for "break tea" which is yummy milk-tea, fried biscuits and bananas. Lunch is around 3pm, it is posho, beans and chicken or turkey. I hope nobody was offended, but I brought a fork with me because I really don't like eating with my hands and having greasy fingers.

On Thursday, I was so hot that I had to sit outside for fresh air. There were many children playing nearby, since it was a school, and I tried to interact with them. Unfortunately, most of them were afraid of me and would laugh and run away if I approached them. I also met a man named Vincent who is a teacher, and we talked for a while. I was about to go use the latrine, but the FH staff said it was too dirty, and so Eddy drove me on the motor bike to a nicer latrine, which was very thoughtful. I love getting rides on the motor bike. There is nothing like being the only vehicle riding down a long dirt road, in Africa! Around 3:30 we all went outside for the practical application part of the training. The RAs (Road Assistants), measured out a small piece of land and built a small version of a road as practice. A few times I tried to help out. I used the hoe to move some of the brush, and tried shoveling the dirt out of the side ditches. My attempts were hilarious to everyone else. They would all stop to watch and laugh, and then somebody would take the tool from me and continue working. I felt so weak! I could barely get a handful of dirt when I was shoveling. One mad tried to help me out by using his shovel to put dirt into my shovel.. I know, pathetic on my part. By 5 or 6, it would finally start cooling off and angry looking clouds would form in the sky. It's the rainy season now, so in some part of the county there would be rain. On Wednesday I was lucky enough to be in the sub-county that had rain. While everyone else was shivering and complaining that it was cold, I was sitting out in the rain enjoying the comfortable drop in temperature. After the practical part, we would go back inside to conclude the training and pay everyone for their transportation expenses. Driving back in the rain was like riding a roller coaster, we were slipping and sliding everywhere on the muddy dirt roads. I would get back to the house around 8, eat, and then hang out with Cassie, Tim and Ryan before bed.

On Wednesday I had one particularly uncomfortable interaction: I was walking back to the office/classroom after the practical lesson in the field. Some guys behind me we laughing and yelling to me "we like the way you walk Munu" ("munu" means white person). I ignored them. One of the men ran up to walk beside me.
He said "I like the spectacles on your head", talking about the sunglasses I was wearing.
I thanked him.
"Give them to me"
"No, these are my glasses, I need to wear them" (it's true, the sun is so bright, I can't see without them)
"Well then you will give me something else"
"That is not a nice thing to say to me" I replied. Then I sped up to walk by myself.
Now, I am sure it seems like I was being rude or selfish. I know that in comparison, I am incredibly wealthy, and could afford to buy myself a new pair of glasses or to give something else to that man. But it's the principle of the thing. It makes me really uncomfortable when people demand that I give them things. In America, it is very rude to order people to do anything. IF we absolutely have to ask for something, we sugar-coat the request so that it sounds something like this: "I'm really sorry to have to ask..and you really don't have to say yes if you can't, or don't want to...but if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could I please borrow ________..." Which is why I am taken aback when somebody comes up to me, without even knowing who I am, and says something along the lines of "white person, give me something". NO! I am here as a student, to learn and to help out at the FH office. I did not come to give out the little money that I brought with me, unless I know the person and feel like I am called to share with them. On the other hand, It's not fair for me to be too critical of another culture. Here, where people have so little, they don't really have much of a choice but to ask for things when they need them. And as unhappy as it makes me, the perseption of white people among many Africans is that we are all fabulously rich and carry around large sums of money that we are going to pass out to whoever asks. And when you are in a desperate situation, why not at least ask? Who cares if it makes the white person uncomfortable? You probably wont see them ever again anyways. Wow, I must sound really upset. I am a little bit. I just don't like how in many cases I am seen as an opportunity, not a human being. Most people don't want to be my friend, they want me to be their benefactor. I guess I am just at a point where I want to be seen as a person again, not an ATM machine.

This week has been stressful for me. I was giving those registration forms to type up, but no time to actually type them. I was given another big stack on Monday, then went to the field on Monday and got back after 8pm. Then all day Tuesday we had the going away ceremony for the ladies. Wednesday morning they asked me if I had finished, which I hadn't, and then I needed Ryan and Cassie to help me type them up in the thirty minutes before they needed to be completed (though I was not given any time frame until that morning). Then I spent all day Wednesday in the field, until after 8pm and was too tired to type them up at night. Thursday morning the papers had been moved by somebody so I spent the morning finding them and then went out to the training until 8pm. I was told I should try to finish them Thursday night, but when I got back, somebody had taken them again and I could find them. So now it is Friday, I decided to stay here for the day, and I still can't complete the typing because the forms are missing again. It's very frustrating.

Last night I got really car sick on the way home from the field. It was all I could do to not throw up. When i was finally dropped off at the guest house, I collapsed on my bed and started crying. I was so homesick, I just wanted to be home with my family. It's not that anything was actually bad about my day, I was just in one of those moods where I needed to be out of here and back home. Only 13 days until I get to be back in the USA.

CFW - Cash for Work Road Construction Training

Wow it's been two whole days since I wrote a blog.. feels like forever.

The last two days I have been going out with the LEARN/Engineering team to teach the Cash for Work Road Assistants how to construct roads. ..

Wow. I am honestly too tired and homesick to finish this blog post.

Going Away Ceremony for the Ladies

I know I have written about this before, but the compound I live on is also the home to around 30 women and their children. The women come for a two month counseling program. All of them are victims of rape and gender based violence. They are the ones that had been identified as "at risk" because of suicidal thoughts. During the program they go through counseling, and learn skills like cooking and sewing that could help them start their own money making ventures. Today was their last day, and we had a closing ceremony.

The ceremony was supposed to start at 10am, but the guests of honor didn't arrive until 11. We all sat in one of the class rooms. True to custom, everyone introduced themselves. There were many speeches about the program and its impact. All of the guest of honor had also prepared speeches. Speeches lasted from 11-2. then the women performed a song and dance, and their children got up to recite some things they had learned. Then we had a cake cutting ceremony and all got a piece of the delicious cake that Consy had made and frosted. YUM!

At lunch we all ate with our hands. I know that is a cultural experience I should embrace, but if you know me, you know how much I dislike 1. germs 2. getting sticky food on my hands and 3. getting messy while eating. I even eat pizza with a fork and knife. I ate my millet bread and cabbage with my fingers, but when I got to my soupy rice with sauce, I snuck away to our guest house to use a fork to finish my meal. I hung out with some of the LEARN staff. They told me that tomorrow I am going with them to Palabek and they are going to teach me how to build a road! Sweet! They also told me they wished I would stay longer and work with them instead of going back to America. It was really cool to feel like they have accepted me here. I got a call from Cyrus, one of the guys, to make sure I liked turkey because that is what is being prepared for our lunch out in the field tomorrow. It was very sweet.

Then the ladies danced for us and performed a skit. Their children were so cute and would wander through the performance to dance next to their mothers. At 6pm, the ceremony was over. I hung out with some of the women and took pictures. There is one lady that is my favorite. She pulled me aside and asked if I could help her. I was already planning on giving her some of my clothes because she is my size. So I got a skirt and two shirts and gave them to her with a 5,000UGsh note. She was really grateful and kept hugging me and saying that she loved me. It really made me feel good inside. I really didn't give her very much, but her gratitude was overwhelming.

Now it's time for dinner and another Harry Potter movie.

Performance in a Village

Ohhh Mondays..

After devotions today the FH workers had a meeting to start their own VSLA (Village Savings and Loans Association). I think it is wonderful that they are going to use the same program that they are promoting in the villages.

After finding out that cleaning out the desk I have been using made the owner upset (read the previous blog post for details), I felt really uncomfortable in the office. I took all of my papers back to the guesthouse and finished my first pile of registration forms. A small victory. I went back to the office and was handed an even larger stack to type up. Ryan, Tim and Cassie hadn't been given any work yet, and I was feeling really frustrated by the inequality of our workloads. Also,The unhappiness of the morning was a little bit overwhelming and I was on the verge of tears, so I laid down on the concrete floor in our room and listened to some music to make myself feel better. At lunch I talked to the others about how I was feeling. They agreed that my job involves a lot more work and much fewer interesting cultural experiences and chances to meet people as theirs. They convinced me that it was okay for me to go with Ryan and Tim to the field this afternoon and finish the forms tomorrow.

Tim, Ryan and I went with Moses and Alfred to this drama performance. We drove for half an hour to Padibe where we met the actors. All of us waited around for a while until they informed us that the drama troupe did not have transportation so we would be driving in shifts. They packed our SUV full of people and took the first batch, then 45 minutes later came back for the rest of us. we squeezed so many people into that vehicle! 5 in the back, 4 in the middle, 3 in the front and two standing on the back bumper and holding onto the roof. I was sitting next to one of the guys in the group, but we didn't really say anything to each other. I was tired so I sat quietly for most of the ride. Then the guy turns to me and says "you aren't talking to me". I replied back "Well, you aren't talk to me either". So then we introduced ourselves and chatted for the rest of the trip.

We pulled up into the courtyard of a village. Our presence attracted a lot of attention, and soon there was a crowd of at least 200 people gathered around to see us, and to watch the performance. The group started by singing a few songs. Then it started to rain lightly and everything fell into chaos as 300 people tried to stand under the cover of the tree. The leader of the group stopped the singing to rush over to us and tell us we could wait in the car until the rain stopped. We told him that we actually preferred to sit in the rain because it felt nice to cool off. The rain only lasted for 10 minutes, and then the performance resumed. The skit was about a young man who went off to college in town and spent all his money on alcohol and prostitutes, from which he contracted HIV/AIDs. It was very fun to watch, and Moses translated what was going on for us. One thing that shocked us a little bit was when the performance went from PG to PG-13. The stage crew held up a few sheets as a makeshift bedroom, which the young man and the prostitutes entered. The entire village - men, women, and children- laughed hysterically at this. Then the actors emerged, and the man was shirtless. They made a lot of jokes about sex, alcohol and being sick. I felt a bit awkward, but the villagers laughed at everything as if it was just part of life. (which it probably is).

When the play was over, we shook a lot of hands. I took some pictures- something that always causes a small riot of people pushing each other out of the way to see. Some of the older people wanted me to take pictures of or with them, so I did. They kept asking us to give them money or help them out of their situations. That always makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. It was 7pm by the time we loaded into the car and started driving home.

As I looking out the front window at the long dirt road ahead of us, I realized how much I am going to miss this. There is nothing that makes me feel more alive than seeing an open dirt road in front of me, disappearing into the African plains. Highways in the US just wont do it for me.

We got home late and had a great dinner. Consy and Betty had cut up pineapple and made us cabbage and tomatoes to go along with it. YUM!

Talked to a friend and my parents on the phone and then watched some Big Bang Theory before bed.

inch high

You know that feeling of wanting to crawl into a hole because you feel about an inch high? That's me right now. Remember my post about organizing somebody's desk and hoping they weren't upset? Well, turns out they were pretty upset. One of the supervisors came in this morning to tell me that the lady had come back and was very upset that somebody had moved her things. Thankfully the supervisor had explained that she had told me to do it. So I guess it's really not my fault, and I shouldn't feel bad. But I can't help feeling very uncomfortable now knowing that there is somebody here, that I haven't met yet ,that is upset at me for touching her things. I'm sorry!!

A fun Sunday evening

After church, Cassie and I lazed around for a while. We watched a lot of Big bang Theory (we are almost finished with the three seasons she brought on her hard drive). Betty made us rice, fried chicken, egg plant sauce and chips (french fries). I made myself eat chicken this time. It was easier since it was fried, so I could focus on the fried outer part. It all tasted really good, so I don't understand why I am so disinterested when it comes to food.

I took my camera out in to the big, dusty courtyard to take pictures of the kids. I forgot to factor in that seeing a camera can start an excited riot. The kids went crazy pushing each other out of the way to be in the picture. I went to show them the display screen and they ended up grabbing it away from me and fighting over it. I got it back, but now the screen doesn't display the picture when I am trying to take one. Bummer. I spent a while chasing them around trying to tickle them, and then lifting them up to touch the mango tree leaves. I ended up holding on girl on my lap for a while. They sing this adorable song in English: "Poor little baby, don't cry again. You mother has gone to buy bananas..AGAIN!" So, so, cute. There is one kid, Tim's favorite that he calls "Little One", we are not sure if it is a boy or a girl. He/she is super competitive and a bit of a bully which makes Tim think it is a boy. But I always see he/she with pink flowered pants on, and a pink and purple dress that his/her mom made. All of the kids are either bald or have very little hair, so in many cases it is hard to tell.

The ladies invited me to sit with them. I went over to where they were fixing somebody's hair and was offered a chair to sit in. They wanted me to try making one of the small wraps in the woman's hair, but I had no idea how to do it so I was soon replaced by an expert. The best part was when they all started playing with my hair, my favorite! They had me get up and practice their traditional dance. It really is very difficult to get the rhythm down. It doesn't help when everyone else is cracking up about how funny I look trying to do it. Then the ladies asked me to teach them a traditional American dance. I had no choice but to teach them the Macarena and the Cotton Eyed Joe. They thought that both dances were very difficult, but they are much faster learners than I am. I was just getting ready to leave when they invited me to share their dinner with them. I really wasn't hungry, but I know how important it is in this culture to be able to share with a guest, so I said yes. I got a bowl with posho (a loaf of sticky white millet) and beans. I ran back to get my hot sauce to share. The ladies made the mistake of pouring as much hot sauce on theirs as I did on mine. I think they thought it was ketchup. One lady put the hot sauce on her son's beans. The poor kid took a handful of beans and then started screaming and crying. I felt so bad! them women wanted me to take pictures of them, so I did. Then they asked me to show them the pictures on my laptop. I brought out my laptop and we went through the pictures I took of them and some of my other albums. They wanted to see pictures of America, but would then make clucking/tsking noises when they saw my pictures. I realized when I got back to my house that I had dropped my memory card in the yard somewhere. I went back to look for it and told one of the ladies I had dropped it. I gave up, but then Cassie, Ryan and Tim came out to help me try looking again. When we reached the spot we saw that all of the women had gathered to look around for it. It was really sweet and touching that they were searching in the dark for my little memory card. We found it quickly when we added our flashlights to the search.

We said goodnight again and then went to the boys' hut to play cards in the candlelight. My friend from the US called and so I had a great conversation with him for a while. It's always wonderful to get calls from the US.

Frustration

I am going to preface this post by saying: Don't take this the wrong way. I am not a very political person. I am a member of the Independent party because I choose not to affiliate myself with the two main parties. I am voting for a person, not their party. I don't enjoy discussing politics, I think there is a big danger when politics become too important. I think we should be in this world, not of it. However, right now I am annoyed enough that I wanted to say something.

Just about every time I go on Facebook, I see some kind of status or group about hating Obama, his policies, the USA..etc. I think it is incredibly immature to use a social networking site to vent about one's hatred for their President. I don't care if you didn't vote for him. As a democratic nation, we have to be okay with the other party, that means the democracy works! Why can't we unite as a nation and be proud of our country? Why can't we at least be respectful of the man or woman in office instead of using our freedom of speech to degrade somebody who deserves respect? Together we stand, divided we fall.

Hey Americans! Let's gain some perspective. How about you try living in Africa under a military dictatorship? Then you might be begging to go back to the USA. From what I have heard, and what I have seen, I know that for myself, I would chose the democratically elected President of the United States over any of the many dictators and military leaders that are in power all around the world.

It's funny to me that I am all the way in Uganda and I am hearing about how much Americans are whining about the new healthcare proposal. After this time in Africa, I can't understand that kind of thinking. I would challenge people that loving their neighbors includes caring about their health. Here is Uganda, even in the very poorest villages, when somebody is sick, the family friends and neighbors all give gifts of money so that they can visit a doctor. They may even construct a stretcher out of tree branches and canvas to carry their neighbor on their backs to the nearest medical center. Can we, as truly rich American, really be so selfish that we wont give a bit more money so that our neighbors can get the health care they need? I think we need to re-examine our priorities.

Once again. This post is just a rant of some thoughts that have been building up over the past couple of months. They are not meant to offend, they are just what I am thinking. I'm certainly not an expert when it comes to politics, but since it's my blog, not a politics class, I feel I have a right to say what I want to say. I am so happy to have been born into a country that allows me freedom of speech. For those of you that disagree with what I am saying, I would like to paraphrase Voltaire : I may not agree with a word you say, but I will wholeheartedly defend your right to say it.

The Cockroach Adventure

Last night I sat down with Ryan and Tim to watch the 3rd Harry Potter movie. We sat of the couch in their room and set the laptop up on a small table. For the first hour we kept swatting at our feet, because something was tickling against them and making them itchy. Then, all of a sudden, we heard a fluttering/hissing noise from the wall between Tim's head and mine. He and I looked and then jumped ten feet in the air when we saw a big cockroach scurry down the wall and go behind the couch. I was really grossed out thinking that that was what had been crawling all over our feet for an hour. Tim was very brave and kneeled on the couch so that he could look behind it with a flashlight. The cockroach jumped towards him and all three of us screamed and ran to the other side of the room. I wish somebody had taped the scene. For twenty minutes, the three of us who are in our twenties would creep near the couch, take a look, see nothing, shudder and then retreat. That disgusting creature hid its self well. Finally we decided to let the bug win. We moved to my room and sat squished on my bed for the rest of the movie. Needless to say I shook out all of my sheets and tucked my mosquito net it very tightly, just in case our little nemesis decided to strike again.


Today is Sunday. We got up and ready for church. (This time I knocked my shoes against the wall to make sure nothing was inside of them). Church was long and hot. I couldn't pay attention so I watched the babies in the room and flipped through my Bible. I miss my church where I don't have to hear the message a sentence at a time to wait for translations. I mean, the message was good, but it's so choppy that my attention span just can't handle it. We went back to our house for lunch. We talked about asked Betty and Consy to stop cooking us meat, because we haven't been finishing the quantities they make for us, and it has been going to waste. I have not been eating meat at all. I just can't anymore. But then Betty and Consy walked through the gate carrying two chickens with them; one alive, and one headless. So we decided not to say anything about the meat until we had eaten those two. I just don't really enjoy eating anymore. It's more of a "do this to survive" kind of thing. So I am fine with just rice and beans twice a day.

I heard a little bit about the volcano that is erupting in Iceland. What is with all of these natural disasters? I just really hope and pray that it will have all cleared up by 17 days from now when I am trying to get home. Otherwise, I am going to be really upset. "Did you hear that Mother Nature? Cut it out!" The volcano seems to be ruining the travel plans of many people I know. My friends who are studying in England are trying to come home this week, and my father and his friend are supposed to come to Africa to go hiking in Namibia. I just hope everything works out.

I think I will probably spend the rest of the day trying to type up these registration forms. I really would rather rest, and honestly, nobody would care if I didn't finish them until work on Monday. I just want to be able to get out of the office next week. Only 11 days until we leave Kitgum.

The weekend blues

Bummer. We got up to go to the orphanage at 10 with the pastor and his family. Finally got a call at 10:30 from Pastor Zane to say that half of his family has malaria so they are going to have to postpone our trip to next week. Oh well. Guess I will have to wait to get my baby holding fix. But there are children here to play with so I will be fine.

Last night I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I was in a funk and just really missed America. We had a big group hug last night and talked about how we miss being comfortable. This whole semester has been amazing. One new thing after another. Nothing is what we expect it to be. That's been really cool, and I really have loved it. But when things are constantly changing, you can never fully relax and feel comfortable. I think after three months we are all just wanting things to be what we expect them to be. To flip a light switch and have power. To be able to communicate with people outside of our immediate circle of Americans. To know what exactly we are eating and like it, and then other times to have variety in our diet. To feel clean. To not have to tuck mosquito netting tightly around us at night in fear of pesky, malaria carrying mosquitoes.. To not walk into the kitchen this morning to find our cook cutting apart the bloody carcass of an animal and having that smell of blood make me sick. To be able to drink the water! When I get to my house I am sticking my head into the sink and taking a looooooong drink. Can't wait. I can't wait to eat a salad. And wash my face with warm water. And not smell bad. But then I am afraid that when I get home, it is not going to be comfortable. It is probably going to make me uncomfortable that everything is so easy, and that there are so many luxuries that some of the people I have met here don't know exist. sigh...

Last night we watched the 2nd Harry Potter. I slept through the last part. Actually, what really happened was that I didn't want to get any nightmares last night, so I covered my eyes with a pillow during the scene in the Forbidden Forest and then woke up when the credits came on at the end. The power went out. We were in the middle of an amazing lightning storm. I have never seen such a cool one. The entire sky would light up so bright that it was like daylight. Watched Big Bang Theory until 1am. I decided to treat myself to some dessert. While watching Big Bang Theory, I ate an entire package of coconut cookies dipped in my secret stash of Nutella. So worth the stomach ache I had when I woke up this morning. I must have slept really hard, because I woke up in the same exact position I fell asleep in.

This morning it was raining and I was hoping the day would stay cool. No luck. The sun is high in the sky, and even though I am just sitting here, AND a fan is blowing on me, I am sweating. I think I will try to write up some of those registration forms today so that I don't have to do them tomorrow. This week I was asked to clean out this desk I have been using and reorganize it. I guess since there wasn't anything to do at the time, somebody thought that would be a good task. Well, now I am worried that when the woman who uses this desk comes back next week she is going to be mad that I was touching her things. I hope not! Maybe she will overlook the breach of personal space when she sees how neat it is and how easy it will be for her to find her things now.

I'm off to have some lunch and watch a movie or more Big Bang Theory.

Hot.Tired.Stiff.Sore.Cranky.BEWARE!

I am hot, tired, stiff, sore and cranky!

Today was not as satisfying as it should have been. I accomplished quite a bit in comparison to the other students, and to what I have been doing the last couple days, but it still didn't seem like much. Pius told me I did a good job filing his papers the other day. That was nice to hear. I made an excel document for the health center to keep their medicine inventory in. I addressed envelopes and fied some correspondences for Pius. All day I had been waiting for a list of verified names for the Village Savings and Loans Association that I was to type up. I hept checking back to see if they had arrived, but they hadn't. During my lunch break I treated myself to watching Big Bang Theory while sitting on the cool concrete floor in my room and eating cookies dipped in the jar of Nutella I brought with me. I invited Betty and Concy to watch a movie with us anytime they want. I hope they take me up on that. I get a bit uncomfortable feeling like they are here to serve us, I would rather have a friendship with them.

Before going back to work, I talked with Tim, Ryan, Moses and Clarence. Probably the best part of my day was when I started speaking to Clarence in Acholi and he and Moses laughed at how much better I am at speaking it than Tim is. :) It was really funny seeing clarence double over with laughter talking about how bad Tim's pronouciation is. They invited me to go along with them to one of the sectors to see a drama group perform. I really wanted to go but I knew I had to wait for the paperwork to arrive so that I could get started. At 3:30, I finally got a stack of hand written forms to type up. By Monday, I should have at least 2,000 VSLA members to register. Even though I got a lot of them typed up, it wasn't a very exciting or fulfilling task... with 2,000 to do, it doesn't feel like I will ever be finished. I wish I had Cassie, Tim or Ryan's job. They spend the morning doing nothing and then get to go out to the field and talk to people. Doesn't see fair. But hey? Life isn't fair right? Should I even be allowed to complain? Probably not.

At 6:00 I decided to call it a day. Tim visited me in the office and we vented to each other about our days and about missing America, but at the same time not knowing what to expect when we go home. The four of us ate dinner together. Believe it or not it has actually been a while since the four of us were all together for a meal. I really am thankful fo rthe people that I was placed here with. We might get on each others' nerves, but we definitely have a lot of love for each other as well. We are about to watch the 2nd Harry Potter movie (we watched the 1st last night). It is our next movie series that we are going to watch in order. I am so happy it is the weekend. Seriously.... Thank God it's Friday. Tomorrow we are going to the orphanage in town with the pastor's family and then going to his place for lunch. I am psyched to get to hold some babies tomorrow. That will definitely put me in a better mood.

Rain!

Every morning we pray for rain. It has been unusually dry in Kitgum these last few years - a disaster for a community that relies on agriculture.

It started pouring half an hour ago. Rain is such a blessing. I was so happy for the cool air that blew into the office. I had to get up and stand on the porch to watch it fall for a few minutes. Everyone else had taken cover, but I was the crazy mzungu that wanted to feel the rain on my face. Rain has such a rejuvenating effect on the world. I feel completely refreshed.

Pray that the rain continues. We really need it out here.

Thursday thoughts

Sometimes I think I am really meant to be a mother. Taking care of people comes naturally (and so does a little bit of nagging). Yesterday morning I checked to see how the guys were feeling and then made sure they had enough water to take with them into the field. Their response was "thanks, Mom". haha. I also just finished telling my boss, Pius, that he needs to eat his breakfast and maybe take a nap because he seems really tired. There's noting like a mom. Someone who thinks about our needs and reminds us to do things we were going to forget. We roll our eyes and say "I know, I know", but secretly we needed the reminder. Here's a shout out to my own mother. I love you Mom! Thanks for caring!

The women who live here have almost finished their counseling. They leave next Wednesday to go back to their villages and continue on with life. I don't want them to leave yet! It is going to be far too quiet around here. I love watching them carry their babies on their back- colorful fabric wrapped around the baby and tied across their chests. When I have my own kids, I want to carry them like that too.

Ryan and Tim went to a difficult counseling session yesterday. There was a man who had AIDS. The symptoms had caused him to be partially paralyzed, but his wife refuses to believe that he isn't just lazy. They have another lady (I think a sister) taking care of them and keeping the peace. She can't leave because the wife said she would let her husband starve or try to kill him so that she could be free of having to take care of him. Ryan and Tim said it was so hard to listen to all of this without crying. In so many cases we see people being extremely gracious and loving despite their poverty and pain, but in this case, it had really gotten this family down.

Talked to Dad last night. I miss him! He is buying my new brother's ticket to come from Haiti to the US. He will be coming when I am home to welcome him too! In 21 days I will be back in the USA. So many things are changing for me when I get back home. I can't wait for my family to get bigger!

At dinner, Cassie, Ryan and I spent half an hour talking about all of the food we miss from home. Rice and beans are getting old.. I like them but I don't have much of an appetite anymore. I eat for nourishment, not really for enjoyment. I also cant stomach meat anymore.. Can't wait to have a nice big SALAD.

4-14-10

Last Sunday morning I put on my nice black shoes and I walked outside. I felt something squirming in my shoe and I panicked. I jumped to the conclusion that I had a tarantula/scorpion in my shoe, and I screamed and quickly kicked it off. I was surprised, relieved and a little embarrassed about causing a scene when I saw a baby salamander run out instead.

: I am thankful to have been blessed with good health this entire semester (and pray that that continues through the month). One of my biggest fears is being sick, especially in a foreign environment, so I thank God for not giving me that challenge to face here. Poor Ryan was very sick on Monday morning; he had some kind of food poisoning and had been vomiting all night. We spent the morning caring for him and I went to the morning devotions meeting to excuse our absence and ask for prayers for Ryan. When the meeting was over, every person got in line to personally ask me about Ryan's sickness and express how sorry they were. The nurse and another supervisor came over to check on Ryan and asked the rest of us to continue observing him throughout the day in case we should need to go to the clinic. All day I had people inquiring about Ryan's health. It's really wonderful how much Ugandans seem to care about each other and their visitors. They make us feel more than cared for. When I first came to Africa I was confused with one of the responses we would get from Ugandans. In the case of any complaint, sadness, pain or illness, their response is always "I'm sorry!". We spent a good month telling people "Don't be sorry! It's not your fault!". I have come to really value this response. Instead of giving advice or trying to relate to the experience, the response shows that the person wants to support the other individual, and wishes they were not being challenged. Saying "I'm sorry" connects you to the person who is sad. I think the reason we don't often say this in the US is that we don't want to associate ourselves with the pain of others (which explains why we are quick to assure Ugandans that it is not their fault). That is one of the many things I appreciate about the Ugandans I have met; that they wish support each other in a way that I have not witness to the same degree in America.

I am sitting in the office. I have been filing piles of disorganized papers.. And by filing I mean figuring out how to group the papers, using a strange two holed hole-puncher, and then organizing them. It's nice to feel useful. I think later I will be going out to the field to do more market surveys. I was right - the info I gathered yesterday was not enough.. Now i will have to go back and fill in the gaps. Hopefully that will involve riding another motor bike.

It's another hot and sweaty day in Kitgum.. The clouds are such a tease, you think it's going to rain but it only sprinkles for five minutes and heats up again. How will the crops grow?? On a high note, Concy and Betty realized how much I love Stony's Ginger soda and bought half a case of it for us :) Had rice and beans for lunch. Yum!

Covered with dust

I am sitting in the office covered head to toe with orange dust.. It looks like I got a bright orange spray on tan! and my hair is out of control... I don't know if I should bother brushing it anymore... To me these are all signs that I had a successful and wonderful day.

This morning Maureen came over to the guest house as I was finishing my breakfast to say that we were skipping devotions to get a head start in the field. Maureen, William, Robert and I got into a Land Rover and hit the road. (and hit it over and over again as we bounced up and down over the pot holes). We visited almost all of the FH sites in Kitgum over the course of the day. At each site William would come with me to the market to do my survey. We would walk up and down the rows of sellers and ask them how much each product cost, and then I would try out my limited Acholi and say "apwolo matek" (thank you very much), which they all got a kick out of. Unfortunately my data is skewed.. President Museveni came to Kitgum today.. Imagine that! Most people were out in the big field where his plane would land waiting to catch a glimpse of him. The markets were empty. I will have to try again tomorrow. Maureen would stay in the office and do an assessment of the building and supplies. When we were finished we would drive to the next site. I also went with William to check out a few of the dams that need repair. One of the best parts of the day was waiting for him to look at a site for a new marketplace to be cleared. They told me "Madame, the bushes are too high, we fear you should stay behind while we look". An elderly man was seated outside of his hut nearby. He picked up his chair ad a stool ad came over to offer me a chair to sit in. then he sat with me and we tried to talk for a few minutes until it was time to leave. I also loved the children that got so excited when I greeted them in Acholi. they told they parents "this one speaks!". haha

I wish I had brought my camera. we had a few hours of driving and we passed by a gorgeous mountain. In the car, I had a lot of time to think. I thought of a few business ideas that would help with development in the area. I also talked with my team a lot. I love them. I really love working with such splendid people. I fell asleep on the way back to Kitgum for lunch and they were worried that I wouldn't make it the rest of the day... I assured them I was fine. I ate and then gave Concy a few pieces of fabric and my measurements for the dresses she is making me. Then we set out again to finish up.

When we got back i typed up my info and then went out to dance with the ladies. On Sunday night they had taught me how to do the traditional dance and they sure got a kick out of watching me do it. I chased a dozen or so kids around the compound and sat with them for a few minutes before getting the keys to come use the internet. They are so beautiful. It makes me so sad when I see them fight with each other. they all wanted to sit with me so they started hitting each other and crying. Seeing innocent children be nasty towards each other goes against nature in my mind..

Now I am off to eat and wash all this dust off of me. Continued prayers for good nights of sleep would be nice.. I haven't had many lately..

Sunday in Kitgum

I couldn't sleep last night. You know when you wake up in the middle of the night, and for some reason you just feel scared? Well the shadows of the curtains blowing in the wind were freaking me out and I was up half the night. At one point I was convinced that something was in the room. I am quite proud of my courage because I slowly reached for my flashlight and then whipped it out and flashed it around the room. Nothing was there. Didn't help me sleep...

We got up and had rice and beans for breakfast. (sensing a trend yet?) We joined the rest of the compound in a large rectangular gazebo for church. I love watching the Ugandans get really into the worship music. They were clapping and dancing around to songs I couldn't understand, but still appreciated. The sermon was about two hours long. It was good but I had a hard time staying awake with the heat, and the pauses for the translator to catch everyone up. The pastor is new to Kitgum. He is from Oregon, but has lived in Uganda for more than six years with his wife. They are both very young, but they have ten kids (8 adopted). We talked to them after the service and they invited us over for lunch next Saturday. The wife, Summer, is going to bring us to the orphanage in town to help out.

Cassie and I have been watching episodes of this great show called "Big Bang Theory". It's a great show. We ate rice, chipote, fried chicken and beans for lunch. I hand-washed all of my clothes which was pretty fun. Now I am in the office checking my emails. I snuck away so that I wouldn't have to be stressed for time, and have to share the internet cord. Now we are going to town with Concy and Betty.

Saturday in Kitgum

Yesterday I worked with the director, Pius. He is a really great guy, but I still feel a little bit nervous because I want to make a good impression, and he is the head boss. We drove in a car with Maureen to Padebe East. There we met Clarence and Joseph. Pius went to a meeting, and Clarence and I were dropped off at the market. He and I took inventory of the goods available and their prices. It took about thirty minutes. It went well, but I was really grossed out when we passed a butcher's shop. There were chunks of goat meat sitting on the counter in the sun. They were so covered with flies that you couldn't even see the meat. I sincerely hope that that is not the same meat that we are eating. Joseph and Maureen picked us up and we sat in the car for at least an hour and a half waiting for Pius to be done in his meeting. We came back to the office and I made an Excel document for my information. After that, there was no other work for me to complete so I was done for the day. I have to say, I think I prefer riding on the motor bike. I felt very sick to my stomach after the bumpy drive to the site. These are the kind of roads my mother would drive at 2 miles an hour. Here we take the roads at at least 50.

I took a nice nap, and then Moses took us on a walk into town to see the market and the hotel that has a pool. It was incredibly hot. We came back and ate, and then I watched The Covenant with Cassie. I screamed bloody murder a few times at the scary/suspenseful parts. Then I watched Star Wars with Tim and Ryan. Cassie and I stayed up late talking.

Today we got up at 9 and had leftovers for breakfast. We played some cards. Now we are in the office taking turns with the internet cord. Later we are going to the swimming pool and I hope to do some laundry. The guys laid out to get a tan this morning.. they look like human strawberries now.. That's sure gonna hurt!

Intro to Kitgum and the Start of Practicum

The last couple of weeks I had been loosing enthusiasm about Africa. That ended today! I am back to my old, enthusiastic, Africa-loving self! Let me tell about my week leading up to this point, and then I will talk about today.

On Tuesday, the eight Go Ed students that have practicum in Uganda left the guest house around 7:30am. We drove until a little after lunch, when we had reached our first practicum location - Mbale. Mbale is where Susan and Nathan will be this month. We were given brief introductions and then it was time to say goodbye to Janae and Brittney. We prayed for them and hugged. The van then left to take them up the mountain to Kapchoura before it rained. I took a bit of a nap. The Mbale staff took us out for a lunch of rice, beans and chipote. We came back and I took another even longer nap until dinner. Something about the heat makes it possible for me to sleep for hours. Dinner was spaghetti noodles and potatoes. The six of us played cards for a few hours and then went to bed. The next morning we were startled out of bed by the Mbale cook, Justine, insisting that we must take "tea" before we leave for Kitgum. So we had our breakfast of toast with jam, said farewell to Nathan and Susan (who I will miss dearly), and were on our way. Ten minutes later we were back again to get the pillows and cell phones we had forgotten. Susan gave me one of her motion sickness pills to take. after I took it she told me it was also a bit of a sleeping pill. The four of us each had out own row, so I fell asleep for most of the ride. The farther we drove, the hotter it got. The paved roads had ended early on, and we were driving on what seemed like one big pothole. It was also incredibly dusty. On one particularly bad stretch of road, we heard a popping and hissing sound as one of our tires burst. We stopped for an hour to put on a spare, and then at the nearest gas station to fix the broken one. The drive seemed to go on forever, until we finally reached Kitgum.

We pulled in the gate of FH Kitgum, and saw that the fence was lined with buildings, and then farther inside were clusters of huts. There was a half fence, behind which was a small house, and two guest houses. The house belongs to Pius, the director. Cassie and I are in the bigger guest house/hut. It has a bedroom with three twin beds, a toilet room, a bath room, a living room with a refrigerator, and a big front porch with a table and chairs for us to take our meals at. The boys are in a round hut/house that has a room, bathroom, and living room. These accommodations are very comfortable, I almost cried with relief when I saw them. I had assumed that we would be "roughing it" a little bit more, but it is a blessing to at least have a comfortable place to sleep when everything else is new and challenging. I think the reason I have been so negative the past couple of weeks is that I have a hard time dealing with change. It really stresses me out when things are different. But now that I am here in Kitgum and the unknown is behind me, I feel a lot more comfortable and happy. We spent the afternoon napping and then eating. Our cook's name is Betty, and our housekeeper is Conci. They are both very sweet. The four of us went out to play with the kids that live on the compound. Their mothers were looking on, and then brought out some drums and started dancing. I joined them, which was apparently very funny. As they watched me try to learn their traditional dances, they would turn their faces away to try and cover their laughter. I'm sure I did look a little bit ridiculous trying to shake my hips the way they do, with minimal success. I chased some adorable children around, and then sat down with their mothers. They brought me some mangos from a nearby tree to eat with them. Our conversation was limited because they only knew a few things in English, but I learned their names and then found out that most of them are ages 19-24. I couldn't believe it. So many young mothers! The four of us had dinner and then watched an episode of Star Wars together before bed.

This morning I woke up early to the sound of the rooster crowing. I eventually got up and prepared myself for the day. It was a decent temperature in the morning, its a shame it had to get hotter throughout the day. We ate breakfast and then joined the FH staff for a morning devotion. At the end of the devotion time we went around to introduce ourselves and then went with our respective sectors to learn about what we will be doing. I followed a man names William, who is the leader of the Engineering staff. We went to the office that is shared by six staff members who are either engineers or work for LAN project (what I will be doing). William told me a little bit about the program. Basically, during the in 21 years of insurgency in Uganda, Internally Displaced Peoples (IDP) were moved to camps. Now they are moving back to their homes. FH is working with the communities to fund ways for the families to make money and support themselves. Right now, they are creating teams of people based on their sector who can help build roads. These roads will be helpful to the development of the community, as well as making schools and clinics more accessible. Laborers would also get paid cash, which they would use to build the assets of their households, and spend in local markets which would boost the local economy. What I will be helping with is called the Village Savings and Loan Association (VSLA). Each sector will have its own savings group. To be part of the group, members pay a minimum fee at each meeting. This sum accumulates, and members can take out loans which must be paid back with interest. There is also a welfare fund for small household problems which is loaned without interest. At the end of 8-12 months, all members get back the money that they saved, and a portion of the interest based on their overall contributions. I am going to be teaching new groups how to do all of this. There wasn't any office work for me to do today, so I visited with some of the men who taught me some words in Acholi. They said the most important thing for me to say is "An anyaka aa ki America" (I am a girl from America). They said that as soon as people hear this they will be very happy to see me and have confidence in what I tell them because the United States has done many beneficial things in the area. The men were waiting around all afternoon for somebody to bring back fuel for the motor bikes. Apparently there was a fuel shortage in town. After lunch, one of the FH workers on a motor bike pulled up to my guest house and told me he was taking me to West Pader to see one of the roads they were going to build, and to meet one of the supervisors in that sector.

Being in Africa has been a chance for me to do many things that are outside of my comfort zone. Getting on the back of a motor bike was one of them. I donned my helmet and swung onto the back, then held on to my driver tightly. For the first twenty minutes, I was in a state of terror and prayer. As I have said, the roads are really terrible out here. there were points there the wheels of the bike were balancing on a foot of pavement between two big pot holes, and I was whispering prayers for protection. Eventually I felt more comfortable and loosened my grip on my driver's jacket. It was a very bumpy ride. Thank goodness for my sunglasses, because there was so much flying at my face, and little pebbles bouncing off of my lenses. It was a forty minute ride to West Pader. I started enjoying myself and watched the beautiful scenery pass by. Picture a motor bike flying down a dirt road, surrounded by tall grass and those African trees from The Lion King on either side. It was breath-taking. We got out at the West Pader office and I met Joseph and Clarence. We rode out onto a dirt walking path that they want to turn into a new road. The unfortunate thing about wearing a skirt was riding on a tiny path with pricker bushes on either side that scratched up my legs as we passed them. Back at the office again, I got some more information about the savings program and made plans to visit one of the savings groups to watch how everything is done. Then we headed back to the FH compound. I felt very proud of myself for getting over my fear of motor bikes today. Now I am feeling very sore. almost two hours of riding on a metal seat, on a very bumpy road was very hard on my rear end. :) When I got back I looked in the mirror and saw that everything except for where my sunglasses covered was brown with dirt. Washing my face produced very muddy water. We ate dinner, spoke with Pius and now we are trying to use the internet.

Cassie told me today about the women that live with us on the compound. FH does trauma counseling for women that have been raped, kidnapped and abused. Most of these women go to their counseling sessions in the villages. The women that live with us are the ones that were considered "at risk". They were severely depressed coming in, and many of them were suicidal. Here they have gone through intensive counseling and have been rebuilding their self esteem. Most of the children running around are the products of rape. They are such beautiful children. I hope that their mothers can see past the pain of the rape to see the beautiful miracle that their children are.

I am very happy in Kitgum. Three weeks does not seem like nearly enough time to be here. I can see myself coming back for longer. Everything about today was exciting and new. It made me feel so alive.