Things about Uganda, Things about the USA

On the plane ride home, I started to make a list of comparisons between Uganda and the USA. Here is what I have come up with so far:

USA:

We consider it a right to have access to free public bathrooms, which should be decently clean, and have toilet paper provided.

Tap water is always free and safe to drink, and yet we insist on buying bottled water.

Waiting more than 30min for food to come at a restaurant is reason to complain, and possibly get you a free meal.

Going 24 hours without the internet is considered "being off the map/radar" or "roughing it", and leaving the house without a cell phone can ruin someone's day.

Where we have our phone calendars to remind us what our schedule is, and make sure we are on time.

Where house guests are a burden, and we are relieved when they leave.

We are very concerned with being politically correct, and we don't point out the color of people's skin if we can help it.

Where we don't know our neighbors.

Kids need TV, video games, the internet and cell phones to have fun.

When asked to perform one of our "traditional" dances, all we could come up with was the Macarena and the "Soldia Boi". (talk about embarrassing)

When speeches are given, they are relatively short and to the point.

Being on time is expected of everyone. It is very rude to be late. The more respect we have for a person or event, the earlier we show up. Having another engagement is more than enough reason to cut short the event that is currently taking places.

Some things must be free -water and public libraries

Illegal downloading in punishable by fines or imprisonment.

We pay MORE for our food to be fresh. Otherwise it is full of preservatives, and artificial flavors and colors. We can't pronounce every ingredient on the label. And we want our meat to be pre-packaged so that we don't have to see where it came from, or take part in the butchering process.

UGANDA

Public bathrooms are normally just a whole in the ground that you must pay to use. Sometimes you are better of going to the bathroom in the bushes because it's cleaner and there are less flies.

Washing hands before a meal means getting them wet.

Guests are a gift. No expense is spared to make them feel at home.

Calling us "Mzungu" is not an insult, it's the truth. We ARE rich, white people, so let's own up to that fact. Even the poorest college kid in our country who is living off loans in America, would be wealthy here.

We take a "short call" when we go to the bathroom (or a "long call")

Kids get hours of enjoyment from rolling around an old tire with a stick, or (gasp) using their imaginations.

Hours can be spent hitting the calabash and doing traditional dances.

Time is not linear - it is event after event. Show up when you are ready, leave when you are ready. Don't rush; Don't hurry. If you finish today's work, read the newspaper until 5 and start tomorrow's work tomorrow.

If you need an umbrella, pick a banana leaf off of a nearby tree.

People carry around buckets of roasted grasshoppers - a delicacy to eat.

The only movies you can buy are bootlegged. (And what could be better than watching a movie that was video taped in the theaters?)

The phrase "Ohhh, sorry, sorry, sorry" is used when somebody else stubs their tow, falls, drops something..etc.

People say "The what? the ____". For example: "I was going to the what? The store."

Guys walk down the street holding hands, and nobody thinks anything of it. But being homosexual is illegal. (How do they know the difference, if guys are always holding each other's hands?)

Knees are considered private parts. Cover them up!

Food is always fresh. Kill your own chicken so that you know where it came from.