Farewell to Africa

Is this really happening? Is the semester really over? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was counting down the days to come here? Astonishing how time flies. I really don't know how I feel. I am excited to go home, but I don't want to leave. Can't you ever have both?

We spent the day hanging around the house. I did some laundry and packing. We played a fun game of volleyball. Our street looks like a parking lot, it's so crowded! Mr. Zzimwe, who our street is named after, died this week. He is some kind of big shot, important person. The President of Uganda was going to stop by to pay his respects as well. In Uganda, when somebody dies, everyone is expected to pay respects. It is very offensive to not approach the family and say how sorry you are. All day we have been hearing people giving speeches and singing at the funeral. You can barely drive down the street it is so mobbed! But I think it is really nice how supportive people are when there is a death.

I got a call from my cousin Sabrina that she was on her way to come see me. Sabrina lives in Canada and I haven't seen her since we were about ten years old. She came to Uganda two days ago to work here for a month and a half. I waited for her at the gate and it was really awesome to see her again! I showed her around the house and realized that I am actually a little bit embarrassed by how nice it is and how much we were spoiled this semester. She and I got a ride down to where she is working. I met her team, and all of them seemed really nice. We walked up to the youth center they are helping at and I wish I had found this place earlier! It was a nice park and there was a public swimming pool! It was really cool to talk with people that had just arrived and were full of excitement and enthusiasm. I was a little shocked when I saw how most of the girls were dressing. They hadn't been told that they should cover their knees, so most of the girls were in super short shorts. After a semester of stressing over showing too much skin, it's almost ingrained in my mind to cover my knees. I politely mentioned it, and later gave Sabrina some of my capris that I am leaving behind. One of the Ugandans that she is staying with walked us back up the hill (she's really close by!). I took them to Ciao-Ciaos so that they could understand my obsession. I gave her a bag of clothes and filled up her water bottle (the mother in me was worried). It was a little sad saying goodbye, because i would have loved to keep hanging out, but i am sure when she gets back we will get our families together and talk about Africa!

There wasn't taco meat left so I had a guacamole burrito for dinner. We went to Ciao-Ciao again for our last time. UGH! I don't want to leave Africa! I love this place.

Our schedule:

Leave tomorrow at 5am.

Fly to London, 23 hr layover

Fly to Phoenix, AZ and get there 5pm Thursday

11:50 flight to GA with Susan, Puvii, Rachel and Nathan

Fly to Boston, MA and get there at 11:15 Friday morning.

Can I just put myself on autopilot and sleep through all this traveling?

Debriefing Sessions #2 & #3

Today we did two debriefing session. The first one was at ten.. I woke up to Kate yelling "it's time for debriefing!!" (I knew I should have checked the board last night to see the schedule).

Session #2 of debriefing was about Transformation.

We talked about what kinds of transformations we have been through this semester. We are all shaped by our experiences.

We all shared what our most beautiful moment was.

Mine: At the infant care center, I walked in and picked a very dirty toddler up off the ground. One of the ladies that worked there ran over and took him from to give him a bath before I held him any longer. After getting a bath and a clean pair of pajamas, the little boy was set back on the ground. He ran over to me and latched onto my leg. When I picked him up and sat down to hold him, the little boy wrapped his arms as far around my waist as he could and hugged me. He was holding me as much as I was holding him.

We shared moments where we knew that God was there, loving his children.

Mine: It is such a God thing that babies have an 80% chance of not getting HIV from their HIV positive mothers if they aren't breast fed. God's looking out for his little ones. That little boy I held... his mother died of AIDs, but he didn't get it from her.

We talked about how all of us came to Africa with preconceived ideas about poverty and how to fix it. But we are leaving Africa very confused. The more you learn, the less you fully understand.

I want to live a transformed life when I get back. That will mean pushing back against the culture that will try to force me into sliding back into my old life.

Session #3 - What to expect when we go home. Here are a few things we discussed

If we go home and communicate with people for the sole purpose of being understood, we will be disappointed. We need to realize the other person's perspective and just work on having an open relationship with communication on both sides.

Symptoms of reverse culture shock:

1. Loss of appetite. - indicating inner discomfort

2. Displays of emotions that don't make sense in the context- like bursts of anger or sadness

3. Making comparisons between cultures and being quick to pick out negatives

4. Alienation- feeling like people don't care and wont understand.

We have to remember that the people who care about us realize how important this has been for us, but they may not be able to take it in.

America culture is like pre-chewed food. What we had here has been raw and authentic.

We are not saints for coming to Africa. If we can do it, you can too!

We hung out, ate yummy food and I watched some more Big Bang Theory. I tried to sit out in the sun and get some more color (since I have a farmers tan), but I lost interest and went back inside. Cassie and I watched "The Fall" together. It was an interesting movie, and I liked it. It was also good to spend some time with Cassie since practicum made her into a kind of sister for me.

We got into a really intense game of Mafia. This group loves mysteries. Our group playing Mafia is more fun than watching TV. We are all accusing each other and using a mix of logic, truth and gut feelings to figure out who the murderers are. I have never like that game until now. It is addicting when you play with such passionate arguers. Man I will miss these people.

Debriefing Session #1

Today was our first debriefing session before we leave Africa. Michael Pucci is our leader. Here are a few of the things we talked about:

The stages of grieving are very similar to the stages of processing what we have seen and done in Africa this semester.

1. Denial- Pretending the tough things we have seen like poverty and genocide don't exist. It is so easy for us to tune hard things out because we don't want to feel the pain of admitting they are real. We live in an anesthetic culture- one that doesn't want to feel pain. But it's OKAY to feel pain. There are things wrong with our world that SHOULD cause us pain.

2. Anger- Being angry at the world, government, God..etc. This is a necessary phase that cannot be skipped if you believe that evil exists in the world. We need to be aware of our anger and watch ourselves. In what ways am I angry? How and to whom do I express it?

3.Bargaining- A way of trying to regain control. We reduce what we are seeing, and simplify reality so that we can fit it into a category and have control. What we should see from all of our experiences is how powerless we are to stop poverty and genocide completely.

4.Sadness- Realizing that things like poverty and genocide are real should make us sad. Poverty exists. Genocide exists. People really do treat each other like this. Sadness is real and important.

5.Ownership- This is compassion, not complacency. This is a real world. Everything we do has real consequences. Nothing in the world is fixed or permanent. This is good news! It means that everyone can make a difference just by doing something!

Do you believe that the power of the living God is within you? Then show it! Make some sparks fly!

The outcome of GoEd Africa is not understanding.. it's ownership! It's the loss of sleep we will feel when we have names and faces circling around in our head, and knowing that we can make a difference in the lives of the people we have met.

When we get back to the States we should be changed people. This is the kind of experience that "messes up the furniture". If there aren't apparent changes, we probably aren't processing what we've been through.

We split into groups and I was the only one that was in the Anger stage of processing. Michael came over and talked with me about it. I am a passionate person, but normally not an angry one. Right now I have a hard time not being set off by things in the USA. It fills me with righteous anger when people don't understand how completely blessed they are. It really disgusts me the way people in our country can be so rich have so many possessions, and lose sight of everything that is really important. When people complain I just want to shake them and tell them to gain some perspective. Really? You hate our government? Go live under a military dictator and tell me how you feel after that. Look around you! You don't have to go to Africa to see neighbors that are suffering and in need. Sometimes I think that the entire USA is in a state of denial. .. Okay, I think you get the point. I am in the Angry phase. Michael and I talked about how the anger is real, but we have to be gentle and loving with people, even if they do need a good shaking. He said part of loving people is leading them in the right direction, framing criticism in a way that lifts people up to their full potential. I really hope that I will be able to hold my tongue instead of hurting people with my honest thoughts.

I asked Michael if I would every be comfortable again. He said that it's important to remember that we are all pilgrims on our way to the Kingdom.. we are just passing through, so we should never be fully comfortable on this Earth. Maybe we aren't ever supposed to feel content with the world.

It was a really good session. Just talking about my anger showed me how much passionate frustration I really have.

This morning we had our own little church service. We sung some songs and everyone shared something. Instead of speaking, I played this amazing song by Nichole Nordeman called "Gratitude". Look it up. It is a song that really speaks to me when I think about this semester. We spent a lot of time talking. Ate lunch ( I was psyched about sandwiches that had CHEESE in them). I packed my suitcases, and believe it or not I have one checked bag that is under the weight limit, and two carry-ons that are not as heavy as I thought they would be. We played volleyball. It is so much fun to play when everyone is horrible at the game, because then it is okay to look like a spaz when you do a turning leap to hit the ball in the wrong direction. Cassie and I watched Sherlock Holmes. We ate dinner and then watched some other strange movie that I didn't pay attention to. Now it is time for bed.

I can't believe that I will be home in less than 5 days.

Unexpected Good Health

I am a bit of a hypochondriac. I have been so paranoid this entire trip that I would get sick. I was very careful about washing my hands and not contaminating my toothbrush, among other things. Everyone made fun of me for being so careful, but it was worth it.

We spent the morning in Dr. Stockley's office. We dropped off our stool samples and then waited to get called back into the lab. When it was my turn, the nurse asked me a few questions and said that since I was in the Nile and Lake Kivu, I need to get tested for Bilharzia. They pricked my finger instead of drawing blood, which only made me mildly queasy. Everyone got their results before I did. Most people had yeast infections. One person had Bilharzia, and another had an amoeba. I was certain that they were saving my diagnosis for last because it was the worst. When I got called back, the nurse smiled at me and said "You are a lucky one, no infections, Billarzia or amoebas. You are healthy!" You have no idea how relieved I was. It meant i only had to pay 30,000UGsh (15 dollars), which is just about all that I had left.

Guess my paranoia paid off (literally).

We got dropped off at Cafe Roma and had some wonderful Tropical Pizza (Hawaiian). On the way back, Brittney and I saw a matatu and rode it down the hill instead of walking. Lame? maybe. But I don't feel the need to be drenched in sweat all the time, thank you very much.

I just put the finishing touches on my final paper and proof read my journal entries. In an hour we will give our practicum presentations for Grace Kibuye, Michael Pucci and Kate. They should be pretty informal since they aren't being graded. Now I have no more school work until the fall! I cannot believe the semester is over!

Last Friday in Africa

Woke up early because the Kitgum group was doing devotions for the staff. We sung some songs and then told about what we were doing on our practicum. It was really cool to get to share about our experiences for the staff in Kampala.

After breakfast, Tim, Ryan and I got a ride with Kate to the Friday market. We shopped around until the guys wanted to go, then walked home. I realized when we got home that I had wanted to buy a few more things, so Ryan and I hired Godwin to drive us back again. I am now officially down to my last few dollars/shillings. I have been trying to figure out how I am going to bring all of this home, I think I am going to have to leave all of my clothes behind.

Tomorrow we go to visit the famous Dr. Stockley. Do you remember my post about his visit to warn us about the things we could catch in Africa? Well, it is now time to find out what parasites and amoebas I have picked up. Can you believe that I am not terrified? Well, I guess I am a bit nervous of the procedures, but I have accepted that I might be feeding another little organism every time I eat. At dinner we were all given our little stool sample cups. Nothing scary, just a little spoon inside a tube. As usual among our little African family, we discussed in great detail how to give a stool sample, while we ate. Yum. I told everyone that if I faint tomorrow, to tell the nurse to take my blood sample while I am passed out.. so that I don't have to faint twice. I am sure it will be an exciting adventure. Lets just hope there isn't anything seriously wrong.. I don't have enough shillings to pay for it.. spent to much on souvenirs.

MOM- call me tonight please, it's been a while!

Journey Back to Kampala

Tuesday night we had our going away party in Kitgum. We all went to the Bombah Hotel and had a nice dinner. Unfortunately for me, they forgot my food and I didn't get it until an hour after everyone else had finished. Ugandans love speeches. Moses, the MC, entertained us with brain teasers, jokes and words of wisdom. He called on others to give speeches as well. When it was our turn to talk, the four of us students spoke for about 30seconds each. what we said was appreciative and sentimental, but concise. When Pius got up, he said "one thing we have learned from the Go Ed students is how to give a short speech!" When I finally got my food, I started feeling really sick. With my body, if I wait to long to eat I will feel sick when I finally do get to eat.

Back at the guest house for our last night in Kitgum, I amused myself with a box of matches. I rolled little logs out of napkins and set up a mini campfire in one of the metal candle holders. It was really pretty. I tucked my mosquito net in for the last time in that bed and slept soundly.

Wednesday morning we left Kitgum around 11am. It was sad saying goodbye to the people I had worked with. The drive to Mbale went well. I was able to sleep for most of it thanks to a motion sickness pill that I had gotten from Susan a month ago. We got to Mbale around 5pm and walked into town to find Susan and Nathan. It was so good to see them again!

We drove to their supervisor Moses's house. Moses has bleeding stomach ulcers, so we all went to pay our respects. I started getting queasy when his wife was telling us about his condition. Then we went into his room to see him. There were a lot of us crammed into a small room and I started getting hot. In the middle of our prayer for his recovery, I started feeling myself lose conciousness. my vision went black, so I sat down until the prayer ended. I was trying to sign the guestbook but my hand was shaking too hard, so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked into the hall I collapsed on the floor. Moses's wife and another lady ran over and helped me walk outside where I started throwing up. It was not fun. I think I may have been dehydrated. When the others had finished with the visit, we all went home and I made sure to drink a lot of water. The Ugandans were convinced I had malaria, but I didn't want to go to a clinic and get tested, I was sure the problem was not drinking enough water.

Janae and Brittney were there when we got home. It was so fun to have our team reunited. We ate dinner, talked and then went to bed. The next morning we waited for our driver for an hour and finally called his cell to find out that he was just finishing up his breakfast. The ride to Kampala wasn't so bad. I am good at falling into a half conscious state so that I cant semi-sleep through long amounts of traveling.

We pulled into the Kampala guest house and were greeted by Kate, Grace Kibuye and Micheal Pucci. It was cool to see Michael because we started our journey with him in Phoenix, and now he is here to help us end the semester. I sprinted upstairs to take a shower. Then we had a wonderful lunch of fruit salad, macaroni and cheese, and salad! I was so happy to eat different foods again. We went over to the FH office and checked our email since the power in the guest house was off. We had Ciao-Ciaos and ate a wonderful dinner. At dinner we talked about our practicums with Kate.

I felt really sick after dinner so I went to bed early

Leaving Kitgum

Yesterday we found out that we are leaving Kitgum a day earlier than we had thought. It was sad to greet people around the office and realize that I will very soon have to say goodbye to them. I don't want to!

So today is our last day in Northern Uganda. The guys killed their first chickens today. They made sure that I video taped them sawing the heads off the small white hens that were bought this morning. Brings back memories of killing a chicken myself a few months ago on rural visit. At least they didn't have to pluck out the feathers! I spent the morning typing up more registration forms. Now I am waiting around at the office for somebody to come back from the field with more forms to type. It rained after lunch, so I stood out in it until I was soaking wet. I will forever be the crazy white girl that stands out in the rain.

Tonight we are having a going away celebration at the Bombas Hotel in town. Tomorrow morning, Godwin (our hired driver) will pick us up and drive us to Mbale. We will spend the night with Susan and Nathan in Mbale. Thursday we will drive back to Kampala after Godwin has picked up Janae and Brittney from the top of the mountain. I am excited to get back to Kampala, and wish we could just do the whole trip in one day. Can't wait to have a warm shower and some Ciao-Ciaos ice cream.

At the same time, I am truly going to miss Kitgum and the people I have met here. I am definitely going to try to come back when I can; probably after I graduate.