Reflections

As I reflect on my time in Africa, there is one question that I always come back to: What does it mean to impact a life? Living in Uganda where I was facing poverty everywhere I looked, it is hard not to just see the big picture of poverty and feel overwhelmed. It's so much better for your motivation and sanity to be able to look at individuals instead of populations; communities instead of countries. None of us can solve the problem of poverty, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I think the best thing is to focus on what's POSSIBLE. That means starting with one person and doing what you can to help them out. Or finding one issue to get really passionate about. If everybody gave their best shot at something small instead of giving up in the face of huge issues, there could be real progress.

I have been asked many times by my mother to address the italic statement at the top of my blog. I have been putting it off because, though I wrote it with the best of intentions, I didn't really think about it again after I put it there. Here is what it says:

As a Christian, how should I be living my life? I have to ask myself this question sometimes. In the middle of this crazy, fast paced world that we are living in, I still want my answer to remain the same - my life should be lived for God and for others. This semester I will be studying in Rwanda and Uganda, and doing mission work with Food for the Hungry. These next few months I want to make a drastic change in my life by living not for myself, but for others. Through my studies and my interactions I hope to find a new and better understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I want to leave with no question in my mind that there is so much more to my life than my own happiness. I want to make my Creator proud, by loving his children.

Well, going to Africa was definitely a drastic change. Everything was new and foreign. I don't think I was able to change my mindset to only thinking about others. I would say that I definitely started caring a lot more about community. Our group of 16 became my new family and group concerns became my own, but I am ashamed to say that that was the extent of most of the outward thinking that I did. I do have a better understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I know now that because we are ALL God's children, it is so much more important to think in terms of a world community, not just separate countries. I should feel just as much neighborly love towards people I meet across the world as the ones that are living on my street (the ones I, honestly, still haven't met). I came away from the semester knowing with out a doubt that there is more to my life than my own happiness, and that my own happiness will increase when I look to the happiness of others. I truly hope that the way I lived my life this semester made my Creator proud.

I have been home for two weeks now. I haven't had much time to think about my time in Africa. I had expected to do a lot more processing and reflection, but life has been too busy. I really miss life in Africa. It was exciting and there was something unexpected about every day. I think it took me such a long time to adjust to life in Africa because everything was always new and different. Being home, it is easy just to get back into regular US life. Things here aren't exciting and they don't really change all that much. Driving was hard at first ( I accidentally drove on the wrong side a couple times). There are also so many choices that I could go crazy just picking out cereal. My favorite thing besides sleeping in my bed, is getting fresh clean water from any faucet in the house. It's a little bit hard not to get upset when people are ignorant. I have to remember that I didn't even know where to find Uganda on a map until I signed up for the semester. Many people are content to live in their own little bubbles, and not care about the struggling world we live in.

There are so many reasons to be happy to live in the United States. I was blessed to be born in a free country where I have access to education, health care, and the right to the pursuit of happiness. I am able to thrive, while many others in this world are only barely able to survive.

I can't wait to get back to Africa. One day I will find myself riding along a bumpy dirt road with orange dust flying up in my wake, the thatched rooftops of huts popping up from the top of the tall grasses around me, and the thrill of Africa running through my veins again.

Broccoli Salad Recipe

On Mother's Day, Marina and I were going to make dinner. I was getting a craving for the broccoli salad that our cook, Grace, used to make us in Kampala. Luckily I had the recipe. It is very simple, and the whole family agreed that it is delicious. Give it a try!

Broccoli Salad:

1. Package of broccoli (raw) - cut heads into little pieces

2. Bacon - fried and crumbled

3. 1/4-1/2 cup of Vidalia or sweet onion - diced small

Sauce:

1cup Mayonnaise

1/3 cup Sugar

2Tbs Vinegar

(Mix sauce to taste and then blend with other ingredients)

This tastes even better the next day.

Things about Uganda, Things about the USA

On the plane ride home, I started to make a list of comparisons between Uganda and the USA. Here is what I have come up with so far:

USA:

We consider it a right to have access to free public bathrooms, which should be decently clean, and have toilet paper provided.

Tap water is always free and safe to drink, and yet we insist on buying bottled water.

Waiting more than 30min for food to come at a restaurant is reason to complain, and possibly get you a free meal.

Going 24 hours without the internet is considered "being off the map/radar" or "roughing it", and leaving the house without a cell phone can ruin someone's day.

Where we have our phone calendars to remind us what our schedule is, and make sure we are on time.

Where house guests are a burden, and we are relieved when they leave.

We are very concerned with being politically correct, and we don't point out the color of people's skin if we can help it.

Where we don't know our neighbors.

Kids need TV, video games, the internet and cell phones to have fun.

When asked to perform one of our "traditional" dances, all we could come up with was the Macarena and the "Soldia Boi". (talk about embarrassing)

When speeches are given, they are relatively short and to the point.

Being on time is expected of everyone. It is very rude to be late. The more respect we have for a person or event, the earlier we show up. Having another engagement is more than enough reason to cut short the event that is currently taking places.

Some things must be free -water and public libraries

Illegal downloading in punishable by fines or imprisonment.

We pay MORE for our food to be fresh. Otherwise it is full of preservatives, and artificial flavors and colors. We can't pronounce every ingredient on the label. And we want our meat to be pre-packaged so that we don't have to see where it came from, or take part in the butchering process.

UGANDA

Public bathrooms are normally just a whole in the ground that you must pay to use. Sometimes you are better of going to the bathroom in the bushes because it's cleaner and there are less flies.

Washing hands before a meal means getting them wet.

Guests are a gift. No expense is spared to make them feel at home.

Calling us "Mzungu" is not an insult, it's the truth. We ARE rich, white people, so let's own up to that fact. Even the poorest college kid in our country who is living off loans in America, would be wealthy here.

We take a "short call" when we go to the bathroom (or a "long call")

Kids get hours of enjoyment from rolling around an old tire with a stick, or (gasp) using their imaginations.

Hours can be spent hitting the calabash and doing traditional dances.

Time is not linear - it is event after event. Show up when you are ready, leave when you are ready. Don't rush; Don't hurry. If you finish today's work, read the newspaper until 5 and start tomorrow's work tomorrow.

If you need an umbrella, pick a banana leaf off of a nearby tree.

People carry around buckets of roasted grasshoppers - a delicacy to eat.

The only movies you can buy are bootlegged. (And what could be better than watching a movie that was video taped in the theaters?)

The phrase "Ohhh, sorry, sorry, sorry" is used when somebody else stubs their tow, falls, drops something..etc.

People say "The what? the ____". For example: "I was going to the what? The store."

Guys walk down the street holding hands, and nobody thinks anything of it. But being homosexual is illegal. (How do they know the difference, if guys are always holding each other's hands?)

Knees are considered private parts. Cover them up!

Food is always fresh. Kill your own chicken so that you know where it came from.

Being home

It's interesting that I wrote a blog post almost every day of my trip, but now that I am home, I have writer's block. It was hard getting motivated to write this one.

Being back is nice, but strange. It's so easy to feel at home in your own house when everything is so nice. But at the same time, I'm not completely comfortable being back. It's hard not to want to talk about Africa all the time. It's probably the most important thing to happen to me, and it's always on my mind. It feels like since my family already read my blog, they don't feel the need to ask me about my semester. I'm not upset about this, but my return is very much out-shadowed by the preparations for my adopted brother who comes home next Tuesday. I'm so excited for him to come, and there is a lot to do to get ready, so my trip is kind of on the back burner and I will continue processing on my own.

I love getting to see my friends. I am always leaving them to go to school, or abroad. It's nice to know I will be here this summer and able to see them. Church on Sunday was great. I love seeing everyone there, and I got a lot of hugs. I also enjoy that the service is not three hours long, or outside in the heat.

Speaking of heat, I am cold! It is SO COLD here. I am living in sweatpants and sweaters. I just spent a semester being too hot all the time; where just laying down could make me sweat. And now I am in Massachusetts shivering.

I've noticed that I am no longer such a germaphobe. I walked into a Denny's bathroom with my friend and she said "this bathroom is so gross!". I looked around thinking the exact opposite. I remembered one latrine I used where I had to hold my breath, and I couldn't even see the floor because it was crawling with flies. Our public bathrooms are like paradise, and I do not mind using them at all.

It was Mom's last Mother's Day with only two kids, since Auguste comes next week from Haiti. We picked up Dad at the airport Monday night, after his Africa trip. Now we have less than a week as a family of four. Now I think we are all getting a bit nervous about the new addition to the family. We have always been incredibly excited, but it's going to be so new having a teenage brother in the house. We aren't sure what to expect.

The Journey Home

My last post was from the London Heathrow Airport. That place is nuts! It's huge and shiny and everything is very rich and modern. I'm glad we didn't hang out in there for too long. We got on our British Airways flight to the Phoenix Arizona and I was looking forward to watching a few movies, and having the time pass quickly. Unfortunately, the on flight entertainment system wasn't working, so there were no movies to watch.You know you are in the western world when everyone is upset about their individual TVs not working.

I was seated next to a very cute couple from France that were on their 50th wedding anniversary trip to the USA, to tour around the west with a bunch of other French tourists. They were very sweet, but spoke almost no English, so we communicated a little bit with gestures. It was a very long ten hours to get to Phoenix. I did a lot of getting up and walking around the plane. At one point I went to the back and struck up a conversation with a man that was on his way back from Kuwait. We talked about the months we had spent abroad and what we had experienced in the other cultures. It's always nice talking to somebody that understands the transition.

When we had landed and gone through customs, we were able to get our bags checked to the next airline. We said our goodbyes and hugged, and then our group split up again. Tim, Susan, Rachel, Nathan and I had a few hours before our next flights, so we stuck together. Tim was the first to leave. The four of us had about five hours until our flight to Atlanta, GA (all of us were going to GA, but Nathan was on a separate plane). We went to a cafe to get some food and were shocked at how expensive things were. Refusing to pay so much for a meal, I chose a cheap bagel and water. It was fun to use my real cell phone and call my friends, who were all excited to hear that I was back in the States.

At 11:50, Susan, Rachel and I boarded our flight to Atlanta, GA. There is a BIG difference between British Airways and Delta. British Airways had nice, comfortable seats, friendly flight attendants, and served two meals and plenty of refreshments. Delta had teeny tiny seats, grumpy looking attendants, and served us a snack which consisted of about 5 peanuts in a teeny bag. Is the economy really SO bad that's all they can't afford a bigger snack? At a certain point, it seems like a waste of packaging if the contents are so little. Anyways, I was hungry. We left at 11:50 and got to GA at 6:45am. Susan took Rachel and I to eat breakfast at one of the restaurants. She left us within a few minutes because she was so excited to go see her parents. Rachel and I had a nice breakfast. It's funny because she and I started this trip together in January when we were seated next to each other on the plane to Phoenix. We said our goodbyes and I went to board my 8:15 flight to Boston. I sat next to some nice ladies on that flight that asked me about my trip.

I was SO excited to get off the plane when we landed. I practically ran all the way to the baggage claim to hug Mom. Delta lost one of my bags, so we waited for 45min to see if it was coming on the next flight, which it wasn't. Delta assured us that they would drive it to my house within 12 hours of finding it. I was more than tired when we finally got home. It was so great to see Mom and Marina. Dad was in Namibia with his friend, so he wasn't there for my return.

Mom and I went to the grocery store to get a few things. I decided to wait in the car. Mom chose to do a full shopping trip instead of just grabbing the few items we had discussed. After waiting for a while I started to get worried. I went into the store and was overwhelmed by how big it was. I walked around the entire store and couldn't finder her anywhere, which made me start to panic. It was embarrassing that a grocery store was so overwhelming, so I went back outside and finally spotted her through a window. What's the deal with such big stores? Is it really necessary for us to have so many choices?

I laid out all of my souvenirs on my floor and ate dinner with Mom. My friend Meaghan came by to see me, which was awesome. We talked until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and had to go to bed.

I am really very glad to be home, and sleeping in my wonderfully comfy bed and eating great food.

Sitting in London

Yesterdays flight to London was probably the best flight I have ever been on.

We left the guesthouse at 5am and drove to the Entebbe airport. I remembered our first ride in Uganda when we got here in January and I realized how now, everything looks familiar. Life in Uganda is normal for me, life in the States seems so foreign and far away. At the airport, we waited outside until the ticket counter opened. I didn't realize that a few people had already asked the security guard if we could enter, so I asked, and the guy seemed really annoyed. i overheard him commenting on how impatient we were. hmmm.. I thought Africa would have cured me of impatience by now, but I guess not. When we got to the gate, we ran into other students from Messiah that had studied here with the Ugandan Studies Program, so we chatted with them.

The flight to London was fantastic. THe lady sitting next to me wouldn't trade her aisle seat for my window seat, so I moved to an empty row, and Tim joined me. We chatted for a while and then decided to buy a box of delicious looking strawberry champagne chocolates from the SkyMall catalog. Our flight attendants were so friendly, and had the sweetest accents. They started joking that I was always asking them questions... because I did every time they walked by. The chocolates were delicious; an absolute delicacy. We watched a few movies, and were disappointed when the entertainment was turned off 40min before landing. I think all of the traveling by bus that we have done this semester made this flight seem like a vacation. There were no potholes to jiggle us around, and we all had our own TVs to watch. I almost didn't want to get off.

In London, we checked into the Quality hotel. We joked that they didn't tell us what kind of "quality" it was; but we soon found out that it was a very nice place to stay. I was roommates with Janae and Cassie. We decided to go find a pub that was supposedly just down the road. We ended up walking for 45min down a bike path until we got to the Royal Stag Pub. It was a nice walk, but London is COLD! There was absolutely no sun in the sky (which was actually the first thing I noticed when we got here). The food at the pub was delicious. I ordered a burger with sparkling apple juice. Our server was also very friendly (and probably a little bit amused at how enthusiastic we were about the menu).

For some reason I got really overwhelmed while we were waiting for our food. It had been a great day, so I don't know what the problem was. Michael Pucci had said that one of the symptoms of reverse culture shock is feeling strong emotions at strange times. A few people asked if I was okay and I tried to pass it off as nothing, but then I burst into tears. Kate took me outside to talk, and Cassie came out to give me a hug. I was okay after that.

We walked back and had the best showers we've taken in four months, and an amazingly comfortable nights sleep. This morning we had a fabulous breakfast, which almost set me off crying again because there were too many options.

We have been at the London Heathrow airport for four hours. Luckily flights are able to leave Europe. We weren't sure if the volcanic ash would have cleared by now. This airport is like a palace. Everything in bright and shiny. There are Prada, Dolce and Gabbana and other high end stores everywhere. I feel like a kid in a candy shop. But it is hard to see so much materialism. I had no desire to buy anything here, it's just so fancy to look at! We bought some great food to eat, and I bought some internet vouchers to use. Now it's about time to leave.

Next stop, America!!

Farewell to Africa

Is this really happening? Is the semester really over? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was counting down the days to come here? Astonishing how time flies. I really don't know how I feel. I am excited to go home, but I don't want to leave. Can't you ever have both?

We spent the day hanging around the house. I did some laundry and packing. We played a fun game of volleyball. Our street looks like a parking lot, it's so crowded! Mr. Zzimwe, who our street is named after, died this week. He is some kind of big shot, important person. The President of Uganda was going to stop by to pay his respects as well. In Uganda, when somebody dies, everyone is expected to pay respects. It is very offensive to not approach the family and say how sorry you are. All day we have been hearing people giving speeches and singing at the funeral. You can barely drive down the street it is so mobbed! But I think it is really nice how supportive people are when there is a death.

I got a call from my cousin Sabrina that she was on her way to come see me. Sabrina lives in Canada and I haven't seen her since we were about ten years old. She came to Uganda two days ago to work here for a month and a half. I waited for her at the gate and it was really awesome to see her again! I showed her around the house and realized that I am actually a little bit embarrassed by how nice it is and how much we were spoiled this semester. She and I got a ride down to where she is working. I met her team, and all of them seemed really nice. We walked up to the youth center they are helping at and I wish I had found this place earlier! It was a nice park and there was a public swimming pool! It was really cool to talk with people that had just arrived and were full of excitement and enthusiasm. I was a little shocked when I saw how most of the girls were dressing. They hadn't been told that they should cover their knees, so most of the girls were in super short shorts. After a semester of stressing over showing too much skin, it's almost ingrained in my mind to cover my knees. I politely mentioned it, and later gave Sabrina some of my capris that I am leaving behind. One of the Ugandans that she is staying with walked us back up the hill (she's really close by!). I took them to Ciao-Ciaos so that they could understand my obsession. I gave her a bag of clothes and filled up her water bottle (the mother in me was worried). It was a little sad saying goodbye, because i would have loved to keep hanging out, but i am sure when she gets back we will get our families together and talk about Africa!

There wasn't taco meat left so I had a guacamole burrito for dinner. We went to Ciao-Ciao again for our last time. UGH! I don't want to leave Africa! I love this place.

Our schedule:

Leave tomorrow at 5am.

Fly to London, 23 hr layover

Fly to Phoenix, AZ and get there 5pm Thursday

11:50 flight to GA with Susan, Puvii, Rachel and Nathan

Fly to Boston, MA and get there at 11:15 Friday morning.

Can I just put myself on autopilot and sleep through all this traveling?

Debriefing Sessions #2 & #3

Today we did two debriefing session. The first one was at ten.. I woke up to Kate yelling "it's time for debriefing!!" (I knew I should have checked the board last night to see the schedule).

Session #2 of debriefing was about Transformation.

We talked about what kinds of transformations we have been through this semester. We are all shaped by our experiences.

We all shared what our most beautiful moment was.

Mine: At the infant care center, I walked in and picked a very dirty toddler up off the ground. One of the ladies that worked there ran over and took him from to give him a bath before I held him any longer. After getting a bath and a clean pair of pajamas, the little boy was set back on the ground. He ran over to me and latched onto my leg. When I picked him up and sat down to hold him, the little boy wrapped his arms as far around my waist as he could and hugged me. He was holding me as much as I was holding him.

We shared moments where we knew that God was there, loving his children.

Mine: It is such a God thing that babies have an 80% chance of not getting HIV from their HIV positive mothers if they aren't breast fed. God's looking out for his little ones. That little boy I held... his mother died of AIDs, but he didn't get it from her.

We talked about how all of us came to Africa with preconceived ideas about poverty and how to fix it. But we are leaving Africa very confused. The more you learn, the less you fully understand.

I want to live a transformed life when I get back. That will mean pushing back against the culture that will try to force me into sliding back into my old life.

Session #3 - What to expect when we go home. Here are a few things we discussed

If we go home and communicate with people for the sole purpose of being understood, we will be disappointed. We need to realize the other person's perspective and just work on having an open relationship with communication on both sides.

Symptoms of reverse culture shock:

1. Loss of appetite. - indicating inner discomfort

2. Displays of emotions that don't make sense in the context- like bursts of anger or sadness

3. Making comparisons between cultures and being quick to pick out negatives

4. Alienation- feeling like people don't care and wont understand.

We have to remember that the people who care about us realize how important this has been for us, but they may not be able to take it in.

America culture is like pre-chewed food. What we had here has been raw and authentic.

We are not saints for coming to Africa. If we can do it, you can too!

We hung out, ate yummy food and I watched some more Big Bang Theory. I tried to sit out in the sun and get some more color (since I have a farmers tan), but I lost interest and went back inside. Cassie and I watched "The Fall" together. It was an interesting movie, and I liked it. It was also good to spend some time with Cassie since practicum made her into a kind of sister for me.

We got into a really intense game of Mafia. This group loves mysteries. Our group playing Mafia is more fun than watching TV. We are all accusing each other and using a mix of logic, truth and gut feelings to figure out who the murderers are. I have never like that game until now. It is addicting when you play with such passionate arguers. Man I will miss these people.

Debriefing Session #1

Today was our first debriefing session before we leave Africa. Michael Pucci is our leader. Here are a few of the things we talked about:

The stages of grieving are very similar to the stages of processing what we have seen and done in Africa this semester.

1. Denial- Pretending the tough things we have seen like poverty and genocide don't exist. It is so easy for us to tune hard things out because we don't want to feel the pain of admitting they are real. We live in an anesthetic culture- one that doesn't want to feel pain. But it's OKAY to feel pain. There are things wrong with our world that SHOULD cause us pain.

2. Anger- Being angry at the world, government, God..etc. This is a necessary phase that cannot be skipped if you believe that evil exists in the world. We need to be aware of our anger and watch ourselves. In what ways am I angry? How and to whom do I express it?

3.Bargaining- A way of trying to regain control. We reduce what we are seeing, and simplify reality so that we can fit it into a category and have control. What we should see from all of our experiences is how powerless we are to stop poverty and genocide completely.

4.Sadness- Realizing that things like poverty and genocide are real should make us sad. Poverty exists. Genocide exists. People really do treat each other like this. Sadness is real and important.

5.Ownership- This is compassion, not complacency. This is a real world. Everything we do has real consequences. Nothing in the world is fixed or permanent. This is good news! It means that everyone can make a difference just by doing something!

Do you believe that the power of the living God is within you? Then show it! Make some sparks fly!

The outcome of GoEd Africa is not understanding.. it's ownership! It's the loss of sleep we will feel when we have names and faces circling around in our head, and knowing that we can make a difference in the lives of the people we have met.

When we get back to the States we should be changed people. This is the kind of experience that "messes up the furniture". If there aren't apparent changes, we probably aren't processing what we've been through.

We split into groups and I was the only one that was in the Anger stage of processing. Michael came over and talked with me about it. I am a passionate person, but normally not an angry one. Right now I have a hard time not being set off by things in the USA. It fills me with righteous anger when people don't understand how completely blessed they are. It really disgusts me the way people in our country can be so rich have so many possessions, and lose sight of everything that is really important. When people complain I just want to shake them and tell them to gain some perspective. Really? You hate our government? Go live under a military dictator and tell me how you feel after that. Look around you! You don't have to go to Africa to see neighbors that are suffering and in need. Sometimes I think that the entire USA is in a state of denial. .. Okay, I think you get the point. I am in the Angry phase. Michael and I talked about how the anger is real, but we have to be gentle and loving with people, even if they do need a good shaking. He said part of loving people is leading them in the right direction, framing criticism in a way that lifts people up to their full potential. I really hope that I will be able to hold my tongue instead of hurting people with my honest thoughts.

I asked Michael if I would every be comfortable again. He said that it's important to remember that we are all pilgrims on our way to the Kingdom.. we are just passing through, so we should never be fully comfortable on this Earth. Maybe we aren't ever supposed to feel content with the world.

It was a really good session. Just talking about my anger showed me how much passionate frustration I really have.

This morning we had our own little church service. We sung some songs and everyone shared something. Instead of speaking, I played this amazing song by Nichole Nordeman called "Gratitude". Look it up. It is a song that really speaks to me when I think about this semester. We spent a lot of time talking. Ate lunch ( I was psyched about sandwiches that had CHEESE in them). I packed my suitcases, and believe it or not I have one checked bag that is under the weight limit, and two carry-ons that are not as heavy as I thought they would be. We played volleyball. It is so much fun to play when everyone is horrible at the game, because then it is okay to look like a spaz when you do a turning leap to hit the ball in the wrong direction. Cassie and I watched Sherlock Holmes. We ate dinner and then watched some other strange movie that I didn't pay attention to. Now it is time for bed.

I can't believe that I will be home in less than 5 days.

Unexpected Good Health

I am a bit of a hypochondriac. I have been so paranoid this entire trip that I would get sick. I was very careful about washing my hands and not contaminating my toothbrush, among other things. Everyone made fun of me for being so careful, but it was worth it.

We spent the morning in Dr. Stockley's office. We dropped off our stool samples and then waited to get called back into the lab. When it was my turn, the nurse asked me a few questions and said that since I was in the Nile and Lake Kivu, I need to get tested for Bilharzia. They pricked my finger instead of drawing blood, which only made me mildly queasy. Everyone got their results before I did. Most people had yeast infections. One person had Bilharzia, and another had an amoeba. I was certain that they were saving my diagnosis for last because it was the worst. When I got called back, the nurse smiled at me and said "You are a lucky one, no infections, Billarzia or amoebas. You are healthy!" You have no idea how relieved I was. It meant i only had to pay 30,000UGsh (15 dollars), which is just about all that I had left.

Guess my paranoia paid off (literally).

We got dropped off at Cafe Roma and had some wonderful Tropical Pizza (Hawaiian). On the way back, Brittney and I saw a matatu and rode it down the hill instead of walking. Lame? maybe. But I don't feel the need to be drenched in sweat all the time, thank you very much.

I just put the finishing touches on my final paper and proof read my journal entries. In an hour we will give our practicum presentations for Grace Kibuye, Michael Pucci and Kate. They should be pretty informal since they aren't being graded. Now I have no more school work until the fall! I cannot believe the semester is over!