Peace, Love and Africa

Reflections

2010-05-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

As I reflect on my time in Africa, there is one question that I always come back to: What does it mean to impact a life? Living in Uganda where I was facing poverty everywhere I looked, it is hard not to just see the big picture of poverty and feel overwhelmed. It's so much better for your motivation and sanity to be able to look at individuals instead of populations; communities instead of countries. None of us can solve the problem of poverty, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I think the best thing is to focus on what's POSSIBLE. That means starting with one person and doing what you can to help them out. Or finding one issue to get really passionate about. If everybody gave their best shot at something small instead of giving up in the face of huge issues, there could be real progress.

I have been asked many times by my mother to address the italic statement at the top of my blog. I have been putting it off because, though I wrote it with the best of intentions, I didn't really think about it again after I put it there. Here is what it says:

As a Christian, how should I be living my life? I have to ask myself this question sometimes. In the middle of this crazy, fast paced world that we are living in, I still want my answer to remain the same - my life should be lived for God and for others. This semester I will be studying in Rwanda and Uganda, and doing mission work with Food for the Hungry. These next few months I want to make a drastic change in my life by living not for myself, but for others. Through my studies and my interactions I hope to find a new and better understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I want to leave with no question in my mind that there is so much more to my life than my own happiness. I want to make my Creator proud, by loving his children.

Well, going to Africa was definitely a drastic change. Everything was new and foreign. I don't think I was able to change my mindset to only thinking about others. I would say that I definitely started caring a lot more about community. Our group of 16 became my new family and group concerns became my own, but I am ashamed to say that that was the extent of most of the outward thinking that I did. I do have a better understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I know now that because we are ALL God's children, it is so much more important to think in terms of a world community, not just separate countries. I should feel just as much neighborly love towards people I meet across the world as the ones that are living on my street (the ones I, honestly, still haven't met). I came away from the semester knowing with out a doubt that there is more to my life than my own happiness, and that my own happiness will increase when I look to the happiness of others. I truly hope that the way I lived my life this semester made my Creator proud.

I have been home for two weeks now. I haven't had much time to think about my time in Africa. I had expected to do a lot more processing and reflection, but life has been too busy. I really miss life in Africa. It was exciting and there was something unexpected about every day. I think it took me such a long time to adjust to life in Africa because everything was always new and different. Being home, it is easy just to get back into regular US life. Things here aren't exciting and they don't really change all that much. Driving was hard at first ( I accidentally drove on the wrong side a couple times). There are also so many choices that I could go crazy just picking out cereal. My favorite thing besides sleeping in my bed, is getting fresh clean water from any faucet in the house. It's a little bit hard not to get upset when people are ignorant. I have to remember that I didn't even know where to find Uganda on a map until I signed up for the semester. Many people are content to live in their own little bubbles, and not care about the struggling world we live in.

There are so many reasons to be happy to live in the United States. I was blessed to be born in a free country where I have access to education, health care, and the right to the pursuit of happiness. I am able to thrive, while many others in this world are only barely able to survive.

I can't wait to get back to Africa. One day I will find myself riding along a bumpy dirt road with orange dust flying up in my wake, the thatched rooftops of huts popping up from the top of the tall grasses around me, and the thrill of Africa running through my veins again.

Broccoli Salad Recipe

2010-05-12T07:35:00.001-07:00

On Mother's Day, Marina and I were going to make dinner. I was getting a craving for the broccoli salad that our cook, Grace, used to make us in Kampala. Luckily I had the recipe. It is very simple, and the whole family agreed that it is delicious. Give it a try!

Broccoli Salad:

1. Package of broccoli (raw) - cut heads into little pieces

2. Bacon - fried and crumbled

3. 1/4-1/2 cup of Vidalia or sweet onion - diced small

Sauce:

1cup Mayonnaise

1/3 cup Sugar

2Tbs Vinegar

(Mix sauce to taste and then blend with other ingredients)

This tastes even better the next day.

Things about Uganda, Things about the USA

2010-05-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

On the plane ride home, I started to make a list of comparisons between Uganda and the USA. Here is what I have come up with so far:

USA:

We consider it a right to have access to free public bathrooms, which should be decently clean, and have toilet paper provided.

Tap water is always free and safe to drink, and yet we insist on buying bottled water.

Waiting more than 30min for food to come at a restaurant is reason to complain, and possibly get you a free meal.

Going 24 hours without the internet is considered "being off the map/radar" or "roughing it", and leaving the house without a cell phone can ruin someone's day.

Where we have our phone calendars to remind us what our schedule is, and make sure we are on time.

Where house guests are a burden, and we are relieved when they leave.

We are very concerned with being politically correct, and we don't point out the color of people's skin if we can help it.

Where we don't know our neighbors.

Kids need TV, video games, the internet and cell phones to have fun.

When asked to perform one of our "traditional" dances, all we could come up with was the Macarena and the "Soldia Boi". (talk about embarrassing)

When speeches are given, they are relatively short and to the point.

Being on time is expected of everyone. It is very rude to be late. The more respect we have for a person or event, the earlier we show up. Having another engagement is more than enough reason to cut short the event that is currently taking places.

Some things must be free -water and public libraries

Illegal downloading in punishable by fines or imprisonment.

We pay MORE for our food to be fresh. Otherwise it is full of preservatives, and artificial flavors and colors. We can't pronounce every ingredient on the label. And we want our meat to be pre-packaged so that we don't have to see where it came from, or take part in the butchering process.

UGANDA

Public bathrooms are normally just a whole in the ground that you must pay to use. Sometimes you are better of going to the bathroom in the bushes because it's cleaner and there are less flies.

Washing hands before a meal means getting them wet.

Guests are a gift. No expense is spared to make them feel at home.

Calling us "Mzungu" is not an insult, it's the truth. We ARE rich, white people, so let's own up to that fact. Even the poorest college kid in our country who is living off loans in America, would be wealthy here.

We take a "short call" when we go to the bathroom (or a "long call")

Kids get hours of enjoyment from rolling around an old tire with a stick, or (gasp) using their imaginations.

Hours can be spent hitting the calabash and doing traditional dances.

Time is not linear - it is event after event. Show up when you are ready, leave when you are ready. Don't rush; Don't hurry. If you finish today's work, read the newspaper until 5 and start tomorrow's work tomorrow.

If you need an umbrella, pick a banana leaf off of a nearby tree.

People carry around buckets of roasted grasshoppers - a delicacy to eat.

The only movies you can buy are bootlegged. (And what could be better than watching a movie that was video taped in the theaters?)

The phrase "Ohhh, sorry, sorry, sorry" is used when somebody else stubs their tow, falls, drops something..etc.

People say "The what? the ____". For example: "I was going to the what? The store."

Guys walk down the street holding hands, and nobody thinks anything of it. But being homosexual is illegal. (How do they know the difference, if guys are always holding each other's hands?)

Knees are considered private parts. Cover them up!

Food is always fresh. Kill your own chicken so that you know where it came from.

Being home

2010-05-12T06:44:00.001-07:00

It's interesting that I wrote a blog post almost every day of my trip, but now that I am home, I have writer's block. It was hard getting motivated to write this one.

Being back is nice, but strange. It's so easy to feel at home in your own house when everything is so nice. But at the same time, I'm not completely comfortable being back. It's hard not to want to talk about Africa all the time. It's probably the most important thing to happen to me, and it's always on my mind. It feels like since my family already read my blog, they don't feel the need to ask me about my semester. I'm not upset about this, but my return is very much out-shadowed by the preparations for my adopted brother who comes home next Tuesday. I'm so excited for him to come, and there is a lot to do to get ready, so my trip is kind of on the back burner and I will continue processing on my own.

I love getting to see my friends. I am always leaving them to go to school, or abroad. It's nice to know I will be here this summer and able to see them. Church on Sunday was great. I love seeing everyone there, and I got a lot of hugs. I also enjoy that the service is not three hours long, or outside in the heat.

Speaking of heat, I am cold! It is SO COLD here. I am living in sweatpants and sweaters. I just spent a semester being too hot all the time; where just laying down could make me sweat. And now I am in Massachusetts shivering.

I've noticed that I am no longer such a germaphobe. I walked into a Denny's bathroom with my friend and she said "this bathroom is so gross!". I looked around thinking the exact opposite. I remembered one latrine I used where I had to hold my breath, and I couldn't even see the floor because it was crawling with flies. Our public bathrooms are like paradise, and I do not mind using them at all.

It was Mom's last Mother's Day with only two kids, since Auguste comes next week from Haiti. We picked up Dad at the airport Monday night, after his Africa trip. Now we have less than a week as a family of four. Now I think we are all getting a bit nervous about the new addition to the family. We have always been incredibly excited, but it's going to be so new having a teenage brother in the house. We aren't sure what to expect.

The Journey Home

2010-05-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

My last post was from the London Heathrow Airport. That place is nuts! It's huge and shiny and everything is very rich and modern. I'm glad we didn't hang out in there for too long. We got on our British Airways flight to the Phoenix Arizona and I was looking forward to watching a few movies, and having the time pass quickly. Unfortunately, the on flight entertainment system wasn't working, so there were no movies to watch.You know you are in the western world when everyone is upset about their individual TVs not working.

I was seated next to a very cute couple from France that were on their 50th wedding anniversary trip to the USA, to tour around the west with a bunch of other French tourists. They were very sweet, but spoke almost no English, so we communicated a little bit with gestures. It was a very long ten hours to get to Phoenix. I did a lot of getting up and walking around the plane. At one point I went to the back and struck up a conversation with a man that was on his way back from Kuwait. We talked about the months we had spent abroad and what we had experienced in the other cultures. It's always nice talking to somebody that understands the transition.

When we had landed and gone through customs, we were able to get our bags checked to the next airline. We said our goodbyes and hugged, and then our group split up again. Tim, Susan, Rachel, Nathan and I had a few hours before our next flights, so we stuck together. Tim was the first to leave. The four of us had about five hours until our flight to Atlanta, GA (all of us were going to GA, but Nathan was on a separate plane). We went to a cafe to get some food and were shocked at how expensive things were. Refusing to pay so much for a meal, I chose a cheap bagel and water. It was fun to use my real cell phone and call my friends, who were all excited to hear that I was back in the States.

At 11:50, Susan, Rachel and I boarded our flight to Atlanta, GA. There is a BIG difference between British Airways and Delta. British Airways had nice, comfortable seats, friendly flight attendants, and served two meals and plenty of refreshments. Delta had teeny tiny seats, grumpy looking attendants, and served us a snack which consisted of about 5 peanuts in a teeny bag. Is the economy really SO bad that's all they can't afford a bigger snack? At a certain point, it seems like a waste of packaging if the contents are so little. Anyways, I was hungry. We left at 11:50 and got to GA at 6:45am. Susan took Rachel and I to eat breakfast at one of the restaurants. She left us within a few minutes because she was so excited to go see her parents. Rachel and I had a nice breakfast. It's funny because she and I started this trip together in January when we were seated next to each other on the plane to Phoenix. We said our goodbyes and I went to board my 8:15 flight to Boston. I sat next to some nice ladies on that flight that asked me about my trip.

I was SO excited to get off the plane when we landed. I practically ran all the way to the baggage claim to hug Mom. Delta lost one of my bags, so we waited for 45min to see if it was coming on the next flight, which it wasn't. Delta assured us that they would drive it to my house within 12 hours of finding it. I was more than tired when we finally got home. It was so great to see Mom and Marina. Dad was in Namibia with his friend, so he wasn't there for my return.

Mom and I went to the grocery store to get a few things. I decided to wait in the car. Mom chose to do a full shopping trip instead of just grabbing the few items we had discussed. After waiting for a while I started to get worried. I went into the store and was overwhelmed by how big it was. I walked around the entire store and couldn't finder her anywhere, which made me start to panic. It was embarrassing that a grocery store was so overwhelming, so I went back outside and finally spotted her through a window. What's the deal with such big stores? Is it really necessary for us to have so many choices?

I laid out all of my souvenirs on my floor and ate dinner with Mom. My friend Meaghan came by to see me, which was awesome. We talked until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and had to go to bed.

I am really very glad to be home, and sleeping in my wonderfully comfy bed and eating great food.

Sitting in London

2010-05-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterdays flight to London was probably the best flight I have ever been on.

We left the guesthouse at 5am and drove to the Entebbe airport. I remembered our first ride in Uganda when we got here in January and I realized how now, everything looks familiar. Life in Uganda is normal for me, life in the States seems so foreign and far away. At the airport, we waited outside until the ticket counter opened. I didn't realize that a few people had already asked the security guard if we could enter, so I asked, and the guy seemed really annoyed. i overheard him commenting on how impatient we were. hmmm.. I thought Africa would have cured me of impatience by now, but I guess not. When we got to the gate, we ran into other students from Messiah that had studied here with the Ugandan Studies Program, so we chatted with them.

The flight to London was fantastic. THe lady sitting next to me wouldn't trade her aisle seat for my window seat, so I moved to an empty row, and Tim joined me. We chatted for a while and then decided to buy a box of delicious looking strawberry champagne chocolates from the SkyMall catalog. Our flight attendants were so friendly, and had the sweetest accents. They started joking that I was always asking them questions... because I did every time they walked by. The chocolates were delicious; an absolute delicacy. We watched a few movies, and were disappointed when the entertainment was turned off 40min before landing. I think all of the traveling by bus that we have done this semester made this flight seem like a vacation. There were no potholes to jiggle us around, and we all had our own TVs to watch. I almost didn't want to get off.

In London, we checked into the Quality hotel. We joked that they didn't tell us what kind of "quality" it was; but we soon found out that it was a very nice place to stay. I was roommates with Janae and Cassie. We decided to go find a pub that was supposedly just down the road. We ended up walking for 45min down a bike path until we got to the Royal Stag Pub. It was a nice walk, but London is COLD! There was absolutely no sun in the sky (which was actually the first thing I noticed when we got here). The food at the pub was delicious. I ordered a burger with sparkling apple juice. Our server was also very friendly (and probably a little bit amused at how enthusiastic we were about the menu).

For some reason I got really overwhelmed while we were waiting for our food. It had been a great day, so I don't know what the problem was. Michael Pucci had said that one of the symptoms of reverse culture shock is feeling strong emotions at strange times. A few people asked if I was okay and I tried to pass it off as nothing, but then I burst into tears. Kate took me outside to talk, and Cassie came out to give me a hug. I was okay after that.

We walked back and had the best showers we've taken in four months, and an amazingly comfortable nights sleep. This morning we had a fabulous breakfast, which almost set me off crying again because there were too many options.

We have been at the London Heathrow airport for four hours. Luckily flights are able to leave Europe. We weren't sure if the volcanic ash would have cleared by now. This airport is like a palace. Everything in bright and shiny. There are Prada, Dolce and Gabbana and other high end stores everywhere. I feel like a kid in a candy shop. But it is hard to see so much materialism. I had no desire to buy anything here, it's just so fancy to look at! We bought some great food to eat, and I bought some internet vouchers to use. Now it's about time to leave.

Next stop, America!!

Farewell to Africa

2010-05-04T11:17:00.000-07:00

Is this really happening? Is the semester really over? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was counting down the days to come here? Astonishing how time flies. I really don't know how I feel. I am excited to go home, but I don't want to leave. Can't you ever have both?

We spent the day hanging around the house. I did some laundry and packing. We played a fun game of volleyball. Our street looks like a parking lot, it's so crowded! Mr. Zzimwe, who our street is named after, died this week. He is some kind of big shot, important person. The President of Uganda was going to stop by to pay his respects as well. In Uganda, when somebody dies, everyone is expected to pay respects. It is very offensive to not approach the family and say how sorry you are. All day we have been hearing people giving speeches and singing at the funeral. You can barely drive down the street it is so mobbed! But I think it is really nice how supportive people are when there is a death.

I got a call from my cousin Sabrina that she was on her way to come see me. Sabrina lives in Canada and I haven't seen her since we were about ten years old. She came to Uganda two days ago to work here for a month and a half. I waited for her at the gate and it was really awesome to see her again! I showed her around the house and realized that I am actually a little bit embarrassed by how nice it is and how much we were spoiled this semester. She and I got a ride down to where she is working. I met her team, and all of them seemed really nice. We walked up to the youth center they are helping at and I wish I had found this place earlier! It was a nice park and there was a public swimming pool! It was really cool to talk with people that had just arrived and were full of excitement and enthusiasm. I was a little shocked when I saw how most of the girls were dressing. They hadn't been told that they should cover their knees, so most of the girls were in super short shorts. After a semester of stressing over showing too much skin, it's almost ingrained in my mind to cover my knees. I politely mentioned it, and later gave Sabrina some of my capris that I am leaving behind. One of the Ugandans that she is staying with walked us back up the hill (she's really close by!). I took them to Ciao-Ciaos so that they could understand my obsession. I gave her a bag of clothes and filled up her water bottle (the mother in me was worried). It was a little sad saying goodbye, because i would have loved to keep hanging out, but i am sure when she gets back we will get our families together and talk about Africa!

There wasn't taco meat left so I had a guacamole burrito for dinner. We went to Ciao-Ciao again for our last time. UGH! I don't want to leave Africa! I love this place.

Our schedule:

Leave tomorrow at 5am.

Fly to London, 23 hr layover

Fly to Phoenix, AZ and get there 5pm Thursday

11:50 flight to GA with Susan, Puvii, Rachel and Nathan

Fly to Boston, MA and get there at 11:15 Friday morning.

Can I just put myself on autopilot and sleep through all this traveling?

Debriefing Sessions #2 & #3

2010-05-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

Today we did two debriefing session. The first one was at ten.. I woke up to Kate yelling "it's time for debriefing!!" (I knew I should have checked the board last night to see the schedule).

Session #2 of debriefing was about Transformation.

We talked about what kinds of transformations we have been through this semester. We are all shaped by our experiences.

We all shared what our most beautiful moment was.

Mine: At the infant care center, I walked in and picked a very dirty toddler up off the ground. One of the ladies that worked there ran over and took him from to give him a bath before I held him any longer. After getting a bath and a clean pair of pajamas, the little boy was set back on the ground. He ran over to me and latched onto my leg. When I picked him up and sat down to hold him, the little boy wrapped his arms as far around my waist as he could and hugged me. He was holding me as much as I was holding him.

We shared moments where we knew that God was there, loving his children.

Mine: It is such a God thing that babies have an 80% chance of not getting HIV from their HIV positive mothers if they aren't breast fed. God's looking out for his little ones. That little boy I held... his mother died of AIDs, but he didn't get it from her.

We talked about how all of us came to Africa with preconceived ideas about poverty and how to fix it. But we are leaving Africa very confused. The more you learn, the less you fully understand.

I want to live a transformed life when I get back. That will mean pushing back against the culture that will try to force me into sliding back into my old life.

Session #3 - What to expect when we go home. Here are a few things we discussed

If we go home and communicate with people for the sole purpose of being understood, we will be disappointed. We need to realize the other person's perspective and just work on having an open relationship with communication on both sides.

Symptoms of reverse culture shock:

1. Loss of appetite. - indicating inner discomfort

2. Displays of emotions that don't make sense in the context- like bursts of anger or sadness

3. Making comparisons between cultures and being quick to pick out negatives

4. Alienation- feeling like people don't care and wont understand.

We have to remember that the people who care about us realize how important this has been for us, but they may not be able to take it in.

America culture is like pre-chewed food. What we had here has been raw and authentic.

We are not saints for coming to Africa. If we can do it, you can too!

We hung out, ate yummy food and I watched some more Big Bang Theory. I tried to sit out in the sun and get some more color (since I have a farmers tan), but I lost interest and went back inside. Cassie and I watched "The Fall" together. It was an interesting movie, and I liked it. It was also good to spend some time with Cassie since practicum made her into a kind of sister for me.

We got into a really intense game of Mafia. This group loves mysteries. Our group playing Mafia is more fun than watching TV. We are all accusing each other and using a mix of logic, truth and gut feelings to figure out who the murderers are. I have never like that game until now. It is addicting when you play with such passionate arguers. Man I will miss these people.

Debriefing Session #1

2010-05-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

Today was our first debriefing session before we leave Africa. Michael Pucci is our leader. Here are a few of the things we talked about:

The stages of grieving are very similar to the stages of processing what we have seen and done in Africa this semester.

1. Denial- Pretending the tough things we have seen like poverty and genocide don't exist. It is so easy for us to tune hard things out because we don't want to feel the pain of admitting they are real. We live in an anesthetic culture- one that doesn't want to feel pain. But it's OKAY to feel pain. There are things wrong with our world that SHOULD cause us pain.

2. Anger- Being angry at the world, government, God..etc. This is a necessary phase that cannot be skipped if you believe that evil exists in the world. We need to be aware of our anger and watch ourselves. In what ways am I angry? How and to whom do I express it?

3.Bargaining- A way of trying to regain control. We reduce what we are seeing, and simplify reality so that we can fit it into a category and have control. What we should see from all of our experiences is how powerless we are to stop poverty and genocide completely.

4.Sadness- Realizing that things like poverty and genocide are real should make us sad. Poverty exists. Genocide exists. People really do treat each other like this. Sadness is real and important.

5.Ownership- This is compassion, not complacency. This is a real world. Everything we do has real consequences. Nothing in the world is fixed or permanent. This is good news! It means that everyone can make a difference just by doing something!

Do you believe that the power of the living God is within you? Then show it! Make some sparks fly!

The outcome of GoEd Africa is not understanding.. it's ownership! It's the loss of sleep we will feel when we have names and faces circling around in our head, and knowing that we can make a difference in the lives of the people we have met.

When we get back to the States we should be changed people. This is the kind of experience that "messes up the furniture". If there aren't apparent changes, we probably aren't processing what we've been through.

We split into groups and I was the only one that was in the Anger stage of processing. Michael came over and talked with me about it. I am a passionate person, but normally not an angry one. Right now I have a hard time not being set off by things in the USA. It fills me with righteous anger when people don't understand how completely blessed they are. It really disgusts me the way people in our country can be so rich have so many possessions, and lose sight of everything that is really important. When people complain I just want to shake them and tell them to gain some perspective. Really? You hate our government? Go live under a military dictator and tell me how you feel after that. Look around you! You don't have to go to Africa to see neighbors that are suffering and in need. Sometimes I think that the entire USA is in a state of denial. .. Okay, I think you get the point. I am in the Angry phase. Michael and I talked about how the anger is real, but we have to be gentle and loving with people, even if they do need a good shaking. He said part of loving people is leading them in the right direction, framing criticism in a way that lifts people up to their full potential. I really hope that I will be able to hold my tongue instead of hurting people with my honest thoughts.

I asked Michael if I would every be comfortable again. He said that it's important to remember that we are all pilgrims on our way to the Kingdom.. we are just passing through, so we should never be fully comfortable on this Earth. Maybe we aren't ever supposed to feel content with the world.

It was a really good session. Just talking about my anger showed me how much passionate frustration I really have.

This morning we had our own little church service. We sung some songs and everyone shared something. Instead of speaking, I played this amazing song by Nichole Nordeman called "Gratitude". Look it up. It is a song that really speaks to me when I think about this semester. We spent a lot of time talking. Ate lunch ( I was psyched about sandwiches that had CHEESE in them). I packed my suitcases, and believe it or not I have one checked bag that is under the weight limit, and two carry-ons that are not as heavy as I thought they would be. We played volleyball. It is so much fun to play when everyone is horrible at the game, because then it is okay to look like a spaz when you do a turning leap to hit the ball in the wrong direction. Cassie and I watched Sherlock Holmes. We ate dinner and then watched some other strange movie that I didn't pay attention to. Now it is time for bed.

I can't believe that I will be home in less than 5 days.

Unexpected Good Health

2010-05-01T04:27:00.000-07:00

I am a bit of a hypochondriac. I have been so paranoid this entire trip that I would get sick. I was very careful about washing my hands and not contaminating my toothbrush, among other things. Everyone made fun of me for being so careful, but it was worth it.

We spent the morning in Dr. Stockley's office. We dropped off our stool samples and then waited to get called back into the lab. When it was my turn, the nurse asked me a few questions and said that since I was in the Nile and Lake Kivu, I need to get tested for Bilharzia. They pricked my finger instead of drawing blood, which only made me mildly queasy. Everyone got their results before I did. Most people had yeast infections. One person had Bilharzia, and another had an amoeba. I was certain that they were saving my diagnosis for last because it was the worst. When I got called back, the nurse smiled at me and said "You are a lucky one, no infections, Billarzia or amoebas. You are healthy!" You have no idea how relieved I was. It meant i only had to pay 30,000UGsh (15 dollars), which is just about all that I had left.

Guess my paranoia paid off (literally).

We got dropped off at Cafe Roma and had some wonderful Tropical Pizza (Hawaiian). On the way back, Brittney and I saw a matatu and rode it down the hill instead of walking. Lame? maybe. But I don't feel the need to be drenched in sweat all the time, thank you very much.

I just put the finishing touches on my final paper and proof read my journal entries. In an hour we will give our practicum presentations for Grace Kibuye, Michael Pucci and Kate. They should be pretty informal since they aren't being graded. Now I have no more school work until the fall! I cannot believe the semester is over!

Last Friday in Africa

2010-04-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Woke up early because the Kitgum group was doing devotions for the staff. We sung some songs and then told about what we were doing on our practicum. It was really cool to get to share about our experiences for the staff in Kampala.

After breakfast, Tim, Ryan and I got a ride with Kate to the Friday market. We shopped around until the guys wanted to go, then walked home. I realized when we got home that I had wanted to buy a few more things, so Ryan and I hired Godwin to drive us back again. I am now officially down to my last few dollars/shillings. I have been trying to figure out how I am going to bring all of this home, I think I am going to have to leave all of my clothes behind.

Tomorrow we go to visit the famous Dr. Stockley. Do you remember my post about his visit to warn us about the things we could catch in Africa? Well, it is now time to find out what parasites and amoebas I have picked up. Can you believe that I am not terrified? Well, I guess I am a bit nervous of the procedures, but I have accepted that I might be feeding another little organism every time I eat. At dinner we were all given our little stool sample cups. Nothing scary, just a little spoon inside a tube. As usual among our little African family, we discussed in great detail how to give a stool sample, while we ate. Yum. I told everyone that if I faint tomorrow, to tell the nurse to take my blood sample while I am passed out.. so that I don't have to faint twice. I am sure it will be an exciting adventure. Lets just hope there isn't anything seriously wrong.. I don't have enough shillings to pay for it.. spent to much on souvenirs.

MOM- call me tonight please, it's been a while!

Journey Back to Kampala

2010-04-29T05:30:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night we had our going away party in Kitgum. We all went to the Bombah Hotel and had a nice dinner. Unfortunately for me, they forgot my food and I didn't get it until an hour after everyone else had finished. Ugandans love speeches. Moses, the MC, entertained us with brain teasers, jokes and words of wisdom. He called on others to give speeches as well. When it was our turn to talk, the four of us students spoke for about 30seconds each. what we said was appreciative and sentimental, but concise. When Pius got up, he said "one thing we have learned from the Go Ed students is how to give a short speech!" When I finally got my food, I started feeling really sick. With my body, if I wait to long to eat I will feel sick when I finally do get to eat.

Back at the guest house for our last night in Kitgum, I amused myself with a box of matches. I rolled little logs out of napkins and set up a mini campfire in one of the metal candle holders. It was really pretty. I tucked my mosquito net in for the last time in that bed and slept soundly.

Wednesday morning we left Kitgum around 11am. It was sad saying goodbye to the people I had worked with. The drive to Mbale went well. I was able to sleep for most of it thanks to a motion sickness pill that I had gotten from Susan a month ago. We got to Mbale around 5pm and walked into town to find Susan and Nathan. It was so good to see them again!

We drove to their supervisor Moses's house. Moses has bleeding stomach ulcers, so we all went to pay our respects. I started getting queasy when his wife was telling us about his condition. Then we went into his room to see him. There were a lot of us crammed into a small room and I started getting hot. In the middle of our prayer for his recovery, I started feeling myself lose conciousness. my vision went black, so I sat down until the prayer ended. I was trying to sign the guestbook but my hand was shaking too hard, so I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked into the hall I collapsed on the floor. Moses's wife and another lady ran over and helped me walk outside where I started throwing up. It was not fun. I think I may have been dehydrated. When the others had finished with the visit, we all went home and I made sure to drink a lot of water. The Ugandans were convinced I had malaria, but I didn't want to go to a clinic and get tested, I was sure the problem was not drinking enough water.

Janae and Brittney were there when we got home. It was so fun to have our team reunited. We ate dinner, talked and then went to bed. The next morning we waited for our driver for an hour and finally called his cell to find out that he was just finishing up his breakfast. The ride to Kampala wasn't so bad. I am good at falling into a half conscious state so that I cant semi-sleep through long amounts of traveling.

We pulled into the Kampala guest house and were greeted by Kate, Grace Kibuye and Micheal Pucci. It was cool to see Michael because we started our journey with him in Phoenix, and now he is here to help us end the semester. I sprinted upstairs to take a shower. Then we had a wonderful lunch of fruit salad, macaroni and cheese, and salad! I was so happy to eat different foods again. We went over to the FH office and checked our email since the power in the guest house was off. We had Ciao-Ciaos and ate a wonderful dinner. At dinner we talked about our practicums with Kate.

I felt really sick after dinner so I went to bed early

Leaving Kitgum

2010-04-27T05:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we found out that we are leaving Kitgum a day earlier than we had thought. It was sad to greet people around the office and realize that I will very soon have to say goodbye to them. I don't want to!

So today is our last day in Northern Uganda. The guys killed their first chickens today. They made sure that I video taped them sawing the heads off the small white hens that were bought this morning. Brings back memories of killing a chicken myself a few months ago on rural visit. At least they didn't have to pluck out the feathers! I spent the morning typing up more registration forms. Now I am waiting around at the office for somebody to come back from the field with more forms to type. It rained after lunch, so I stood out in it until I was soaking wet. I will forever be the crazy white girl that stands out in the rain.

Tonight we are having a going away celebration at the Bombas Hotel in town. Tomorrow morning, Godwin (our hired driver) will pick us up and drive us to Mbale. We will spend the night with Susan and Nathan in Mbale. Thursday we will drive back to Kampala after Godwin has picked up Janae and Brittney from the top of the mountain. I am excited to get back to Kampala, and wish we could just do the whole trip in one day. Can't wait to have a warm shower and some Ciao-Ciaos ice cream.

At the same time, I am truly going to miss Kitgum and the people I have met here. I am definitely going to try to come back when I can; probably after I graduate.

Gulu on Sunday

2010-04-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning we were ready to go to Gulu at 9:30. Seydou, another FH employee, had offered to drive us out, so he was also ready to go. However, our show could not get on the road because one of the guards decided to wash the Land Rover before we took it out. I asked Pius why he needed to clean it, and Pius said "It's a good practice to start a journey with a clean vehicle". Fair enough. We left at 10:15 for the two hour drive to Gulu. When we passes the sign that said "Gule- 85 KM", Tim had a little moment when he realized that it was going to be a long ride. I think he spaced out the "two hour drive" part of our discussion on taking the trip. Halfway through the drive I was starting to wish we hadn't gone. You have no idea just how bumpy roads can be until you experience this!

When we got to Gulu we drove around trying to find a restaurant that serves pizza. We found this really cool place called Kope Cafe. All of the profits from the cafe are donated to an organization that helps the children there. Inside, the walls were painted with murals of Africa landscapes. It was a really cool environment. We got our pizza and it wasn't at all what we were longing for. The sauce was mixed with curry, which could have been a good combination, but it wasn't. Oh well. We spent a few hours eating and talking. It was nice to get out of our normal setting.

My purpose for visiting Gulu was to try to find the One Mango Tree workshop. The lady who started the organization had told me a few weeks ago how to find Cafe Larem, where I could ask for directions to the workshop. When we got to the cafe, they were selling crafts from the workshop, but had no idea where it was. We got a number to call, and a lady told us how to get there, but since it was Sunday, there was nobody there working or able to let us in and show us around. Frustrating, but I should have anticipated that Sunday is not the best day to visit a workshop.

We walked around the market in Gulu and I bought myself a big rolling suitcase. I already nearly broke my back carrying my stuff to Africa, I would rather be able to roll my souvenirs home. I keep kicking myself when I remember packing for Africa and refusing to bring a rolling suitcase because I wanted to say I just brought a duffel bag. Dumb idea, but easily resolved by going to the market and buying a cheap suitcase with somebody else's name still written on it.

We drove home and I went online for a bit and then finished typing the registration forms for Monday morning.

Saturday Night

2010-04-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

We came home and I wrote some more of my final paper. As I was walking out of my room I found a note taped to the back of the door. It was the first clue of a treasure hunt to find a Hello Kitty lunch box and a shoe that the guys had stolen from us. (Don't ask what possessed me to actually buy a Hello Kitty character lunch box.. it was a lapse of judgment to be sure). So after dinner, Cassie and I set out on our treasure hunt to recover the missing treasures. The guys had us walking back and forth across the compound. The lunch box and shoe were hidden under our beds. I must say it was a very cute and fun idea. Who invented the first treasure hunt? The pirates?

We sat down in the guy's hut and watched Avatar. I really liked it. I have been trying all night to get in contact with our ride tomorrow to Gulu but no luck so far.. Hope it still happens.

More thoughts about giving

2010-04-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

I think it would be a good idea for me to clarify a little bit more my thoughts on giving. My views have changed since I came to Africa.

Here is what I believe after four months of living in Africa:

I don't just give out money to people who ask for it. It is completely counter productive. Giving a little bit of money doesn't help. It will maybe feed a person for a day, and there is no way to be sure that a stranger would use the money for the purposes he or she claims. And giving out small amounts of money just reinforces begging. In Kampala they have laws against giving out money to street children who are begging. Parents in the north have been sending their children to the streets of Kampala to beg because it is an easy way to get money. For a country that is trying to lift itself out of poverty, it is really important for people to learn to help themselves. That is why Food for the Hungry has programs that give people job opportunities where they can make their own money, and programs that teach people how to use their money wisely. Uganda went through twenty years of war, in which they got used to getting food and money from organizations that were trying to help. That did a lot of harm because now there is an entire generation of people that don't have the skills to make help themselves because they are used to free hand-outs.

At this point, I will only give my money to people that I know personally and trust that they will put the money to good use. It is even better if I can give clothes or food. I prefer to give money to organizations that will help communities help themselves. I know that it is harder for people who have not lived long term in a developing country to understand why I don't just give things to people when they ask. I am sure it seems ungenerous, and selfish. That is why I wanted to let everyone know why I feel this way, and the good reasons why me and many other people who have stayed for a while don't give handouts.

A Much Needed, Lovely Saturday

2010-04-24T04:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how much better a Saturday could get!

This morning I woke up to a gray and rainy sky. You have no idea how much I love it when it rains. It was so cool that I was actually able to wear my fleece sweater. Had a yummy breakfast of egg sandwiches and banana dipped in g-nut sauce. Consy had finished my skirt and dress. They are both really beautiful and I am so glad that I gave her the business instead of bringing the fabric home. Not to mention it was very inexpensive, though I tried to give her more than she would normally receive. I gave her three more pieces of fabric for some more dresses.

At 10:30, our new friend Summer came to pick us up. Summer is the wife of the pastor that preaches here on Sundays. The recently moved to Kitgum with their eleven children (two biological and nine adopted). Summer took us to an infant care center in Kitgum. Unfortunately, Cassie couldn't come with us, but Ryan, Tim and I had a wonderful time. The infant care center has about three rooms that are lined with beds. There is a small courtyard which is where we played with the kids.

When I first walked in, there was a toddler in a ragged and dirty shirt sitting in the dirt. I picked him up and held him for a few minutes. One of the ladies that was taking care of them took the baby from me to give him a bath, since he was a little bit on the filthy side. When he was clean, they put him in a pair of onesie PJs and set him back down. He waddled over to me and hugged my leg, so I picked him up and sat in a chair. When I sat down he immediately wrapped his tiny arms around my stomach and snuggled into my chest. Tears came to my eyes as I stared down at this beautiful and loving little baby that was breaking my heart just by holding me as tight as I was holding him. After snuggling with me for a few minutes, he sat up on my lap and started playing around. he was high-fiveing and fist-pounding me, and then giggling as I bounced him up and down in the air. I wanted to take him home with me so badly. Is twenty too young to have an adopted baby boy?

Somebody sat his twin brother down in the chair next to us. Summer came over and told me that only one of the twins had contracted HIV from the mother, because there is actually an 80% chance, that if the child isn't breast fed, they wont contract the disease. I almost cried again thinking of one twin having to lose his brother to HIV. I was sad that we had to leave and say goodbye to all of the darling children. I wish we had visited the place earlier on because I would have loved to make playing with the kids part of the routine.

We drove over to Summer and Zane's house. It's a cute little house with a yard and a trampoline for the kids to play on. The house was very nice and comfortable inside. Summer home schools all of her children, and they are sweethearts. We talked for a while and then had a nice lunch. I was amazed at how well behaved their children are. I really could see myself living a similar life. When I go to orphanages I can completely understand how somebody could end up with nine adopted kids. One of their newest children was from the home we visited today. He is about two years old, but the size of an infant because he was so malnourished. I am so glad that he is in a good home where he can grow and thrive. We brought cookies and Nutella to share as a dessert. It was a really enjoyable afternoon.

Now we are back at the house relaxing. I am hoping that it works out going to Gulu tomorrow. I want to stop by the One Mango Tree workshop. It's an organization created by a lady that my aunt and uncle know. The four of us are going to spend the day there. I hear it has some cool markets for shopping and a nice restaurant.

CFW Training & I am not an ATM machine

2010-04-23T00:45:00.001-07:00

These last two days I have been going with the LEARN/Engineering team to teach the community Road Assistants how to build roads. FH is a fan of the "cascade effect"; we taught the Road Assistants, who will then teach the group of workers that are working under them.

In the morning, the six of us (plus Alfred the driver), pile into the Land Rover and hit the road. Because I am thin, I am squished into the back with another person and all of the tools and teaching materials. It is a tight fit, and it takes a lot for me to stop myself from feeling claustrophobic. We drive for half an hour until we get to one of the sub counties. On Wednesday, we used the FH office as a classroom, but on Thursday we taught in the classrooms of a primary school. There are around 30 Road Assistants that attend the training in each sub-county. The lessons go all morning and afternoon. Our engineers draw diagrams and explain the process of clearing the land, stripping the soil, and constructing the road. We stop around 12 for "break tea" which is yummy milk-tea, fried biscuits and bananas. Lunch is around 3pm, it is posho, beans and chicken or turkey. I hope nobody was offended, but I brought a fork with me because I really don't like eating with my hands and having greasy fingers.

On Thursday, I was so hot that I had to sit outside for fresh air. There were many children playing nearby, since it was a school, and I tried to interact with them. Unfortunately, most of them were afraid of me and would laugh and run away if I approached them. I also met a man named Vincent who is a teacher, and we talked for a while. I was about to go use the latrine, but the FH staff said it was too dirty, and so Eddy drove me on the motor bike to a nicer latrine, which was very thoughtful. I love getting rides on the motor bike. There is nothing like being the only vehicle riding down a long dirt road, in Africa! Around 3:30 we all went outside for the practical application part of the training. The RAs (Road Assistants), measured out a small piece of land and built a small version of a road as practice. A few times I tried to help out. I used the hoe to move some of the brush, and tried shoveling the dirt out of the side ditches. My attempts were hilarious to everyone else. They would all stop to watch and laugh, and then somebody would take the tool from me and continue working. I felt so weak! I could barely get a handful of dirt when I was shoveling. One mad tried to help me out by using his shovel to put dirt into my shovel.. I know, pathetic on my part. By 5 or 6, it would finally start cooling off and angry looking clouds would form in the sky. It's the rainy season now, so in some part of the county there would be rain. On Wednesday I was lucky enough to be in the sub-county that had rain. While everyone else was shivering and complaining that it was cold, I was sitting out in the rain enjoying the comfortable drop in temperature. After the practical part, we would go back inside to conclude the training and pay everyone for their transportation expenses. Driving back in the rain was like riding a roller coaster, we were slipping and sliding everywhere on the muddy dirt roads. I would get back to the house around 8, eat, and then hang out with Cassie, Tim and Ryan before bed.

On Wednesday I had one particularly uncomfortable interaction: I was walking back to the office/classroom after the practical lesson in the field. Some guys behind me we laughing and yelling to me "we like the way you walk Munu" ("munu" means white person). I ignored them. One of the men ran up to walk beside me.
He said "I like the spectacles on your head", talking about the sunglasses I was wearing.
I thanked him.
"Give them to me"
"No, these are my glasses, I need to wear them" (it's true, the sun is so bright, I can't see without them)
"Well then you will give me something else"
"That is not a nice thing to say to me" I replied. Then I sped up to walk by myself.
Now, I am sure it seems like I was being rude or selfish. I know that in comparison, I am incredibly wealthy, and could afford to buy myself a new pair of glasses or to give something else to that man. But it's the principle of the thing. It makes me really uncomfortable when people demand that I give them things. In America, it is very rude to order people to do anything. IF we absolutely have to ask for something, we sugar-coat the request so that it sounds something like this: "I'm really sorry to have to ask..and you really don't have to say yes if you can't, or don't want to...but if it wouldn't be too much trouble, could I please borrow ________..." Which is why I am taken aback when somebody comes up to me, without even knowing who I am, and says something along the lines of "white person, give me something". NO! I am here as a student, to learn and to help out at the FH office. I did not come to give out the little money that I brought with me, unless I know the person and feel like I am called to share with them. On the other hand, It's not fair for me to be too critical of another culture. Here, where people have so little, they don't really have much of a choice but to ask for things when they need them. And as unhappy as it makes me, the perseption of white people among many Africans is that we are all fabulously rich and carry around large sums of money that we are going to pass out to whoever asks. And when you are in a desperate situation, why not at least ask? Who cares if it makes the white person uncomfortable? You probably wont see them ever again anyways. Wow, I must sound really upset. I am a little bit. I just don't like how in many cases I am seen as an opportunity, not a human being. Most people don't want to be my friend, they want me to be their benefactor. I guess I am just at a point where I want to be seen as a person again, not an ATM machine.

This week has been stressful for me. I was giving those registration forms to type up, but no time to actually type them. I was given another big stack on Monday, then went to the field on Monday and got back after 8pm. Then all day Tuesday we had the going away ceremony for the ladies. Wednesday morning they asked me if I had finished, which I hadn't, and then I needed Ryan and Cassie to help me type them up in the thirty minutes before they needed to be completed (though I was not given any time frame until that morning). Then I spent all day Wednesday in the field, until after 8pm and was too tired to type them up at night. Thursday morning the papers had been moved by somebody so I spent the morning finding them and then went out to the training until 8pm. I was told I should try to finish them Thursday night, but when I got back, somebody had taken them again and I could find them. So now it is Friday, I decided to stay here for the day, and I still can't complete the typing because the forms are missing again. It's very frustrating.

Last night I got really car sick on the way home from the field. It was all I could do to not throw up. When i was finally dropped off at the guest house, I collapsed on my bed and started crying. I was so homesick, I just wanted to be home with my family. It's not that anything was actually bad about my day, I was just in one of those moods where I needed to be out of here and back home. Only 13 days until I get to be back in the USA.

CFW - Cash for Work Road Construction Training

2010-04-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been two whole days since I wrote a blog.. feels like forever.

The last two days I have been going out with the LEARN/Engineering team to teach the Cash for Work Road Assistants how to construct roads. ..

Wow. I am honestly too tired and homesick to finish this blog post.

Going Away Ceremony for the Ladies

2010-04-20T08:58:00.001-07:00

I know I have written about this before, but the compound I live on is also the home to around 30 women and their children. The women come for a two month counseling program. All of them are victims of rape and gender based violence. They are the ones that had been identified as "at risk" because of suicidal thoughts. During the program they go through counseling, and learn skills like cooking and sewing that could help them start their own money making ventures. Today was their last day, and we had a closing ceremony.

The ceremony was supposed to start at 10am, but the guests of honor didn't arrive until 11. We all sat in one of the class rooms. True to custom, everyone introduced themselves. There were many speeches about the program and its impact. All of the guest of honor had also prepared speeches. Speeches lasted from 11-2. then the women performed a song and dance, and their children got up to recite some things they had learned. Then we had a cake cutting ceremony and all got a piece of the delicious cake that Consy had made and frosted. YUM!

At lunch we all ate with our hands. I know that is a cultural experience I should embrace, but if you know me, you know how much I dislike 1. germs 2. getting sticky food on my hands and 3. getting messy while eating. I even eat pizza with a fork and knife. I ate my millet bread and cabbage with my fingers, but when I got to my soupy rice with sauce, I snuck away to our guest house to use a fork to finish my meal. I hung out with some of the LEARN staff. They told me that tomorrow I am going with them to Palabek and they are going to teach me how to build a road! Sweet! They also told me they wished I would stay longer and work with them instead of going back to America. It was really cool to feel like they have accepted me here. I got a call from Cyrus, one of the guys, to make sure I liked turkey because that is what is being prepared for our lunch out in the field tomorrow. It was very sweet.

Then the ladies danced for us and performed a skit. Their children were so cute and would wander through the performance to dance next to their mothers. At 6pm, the ceremony was over. I hung out with some of the women and took pictures. There is one lady that is my favorite. She pulled me aside and asked if I could help her. I was already planning on giving her some of my clothes because she is my size. So I got a skirt and two shirts and gave them to her with a 5,000UGsh note. She was really grateful and kept hugging me and saying that she loved me. It really made me feel good inside. I really didn't give her very much, but her gratitude was overwhelming.

Now it's time for dinner and another Harry Potter movie.

Performance in a Village

2010-04-20T00:11:00.001-07:00

Ohhh Mondays..

After devotions today the FH workers had a meeting to start their own VSLA (Village Savings and Loans Association). I think it is wonderful that they are going to use the same program that they are promoting in the villages.

After finding out that cleaning out the desk I have been using made the owner upset (read the previous blog post for details), I felt really uncomfortable in the office. I took all of my papers back to the guesthouse and finished my first pile of registration forms. A small victory. I went back to the office and was handed an even larger stack to type up. Ryan, Tim and Cassie hadn't been given any work yet, and I was feeling really frustrated by the inequality of our workloads. Also,The unhappiness of the morning was a little bit overwhelming and I was on the verge of tears, so I laid down on the concrete floor in our room and listened to some music to make myself feel better. At lunch I talked to the others about how I was feeling. They agreed that my job involves a lot more work and much fewer interesting cultural experiences and chances to meet people as theirs. They convinced me that it was okay for me to go with Ryan and Tim to the field this afternoon and finish the forms tomorrow.

Tim, Ryan and I went with Moses and Alfred to this drama performance. We drove for half an hour to Padibe where we met the actors. All of us waited around for a while until they informed us that the drama troupe did not have transportation so we would be driving in shifts. They packed our SUV full of people and took the first batch, then 45 minutes later came back for the rest of us. we squeezed so many people into that vehicle! 5 in the back, 4 in the middle, 3 in the front and two standing on the back bumper and holding onto the roof. I was sitting next to one of the guys in the group, but we didn't really say anything to each other. I was tired so I sat quietly for most of the ride. Then the guy turns to me and says "you aren't talking to me". I replied back "Well, you aren't talk to me either". So then we introduced ourselves and chatted for the rest of the trip.

We pulled up into the courtyard of a village. Our presence attracted a lot of attention, and soon there was a crowd of at least 200 people gathered around to see us, and to watch the performance. The group started by singing a few songs. Then it started to rain lightly and everything fell into chaos as 300 people tried to stand under the cover of the tree. The leader of the group stopped the singing to rush over to us and tell us we could wait in the car until the rain stopped. We told him that we actually preferred to sit in the rain because it felt nice to cool off. The rain only lasted for 10 minutes, and then the performance resumed. The skit was about a young man who went off to college in town and spent all his money on alcohol and prostitutes, from which he contracted HIV/AIDs. It was very fun to watch, and Moses translated what was going on for us. One thing that shocked us a little bit was when the performance went from PG to PG-13. The stage crew held up a few sheets as a makeshift bedroom, which the young man and the prostitutes entered. The entire village - men, women, and children- laughed hysterically at this. Then the actors emerged, and the man was shirtless. They made a lot of jokes about sex, alcohol and being sick. I felt a bit awkward, but the villagers laughed at everything as if it was just part of life. (which it probably is).

When the play was over, we shook a lot of hands. I took some pictures- something that always causes a small riot of people pushing each other out of the way to see. Some of the older people wanted me to take pictures of or with them, so I did. They kept asking us to give them money or help them out of their situations. That always makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. It was 7pm by the time we loaded into the car and started driving home.

As I looking out the front window at the long dirt road ahead of us, I realized how much I am going to miss this. There is nothing that makes me feel more alive than seeing an open dirt road in front of me, disappearing into the African plains. Highways in the US just wont do it for me.

We got home late and had a great dinner. Consy and Betty had cut up pineapple and made us cabbage and tomatoes to go along with it. YUM!

Talked to a friend and my parents on the phone and then watched some Big Bang Theory before bed.

inch high

2010-04-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling of wanting to crawl into a hole because you feel about an inch high? That's me right now. Remember my post about organizing somebody's desk and hoping they weren't upset? Well, turns out they were pretty upset. One of the supervisors came in this morning to tell me that the lady had come back and was very upset that somebody had moved her things. Thankfully the supervisor had explained that she had told me to do it. So I guess it's really not my fault, and I shouldn't feel bad. But I can't help feeling very uncomfortable now knowing that there is somebody here, that I haven't met yet ,that is upset at me for touching her things. I'm sorry!!

A fun Sunday evening

2010-04-18T22:38:00.000-07:00

After church, Cassie and I lazed around for a while. We watched a lot of Big bang Theory (we are almost finished with the three seasons she brought on her hard drive). Betty made us rice, fried chicken, egg plant sauce and chips (french fries). I made myself eat chicken this time. It was easier since it was fried, so I could focus on the fried outer part. It all tasted really good, so I don't understand why I am so disinterested when it comes to food.

I took my camera out in to the big, dusty courtyard to take pictures of the kids. I forgot to factor in that seeing a camera can start an excited riot. The kids went crazy pushing each other out of the way to be in the picture. I went to show them the display screen and they ended up grabbing it away from me and fighting over it. I got it back, but now the screen doesn't display the picture when I am trying to take one. Bummer. I spent a while chasing them around trying to tickle them, and then lifting them up to touch the mango tree leaves. I ended up holding on girl on my lap for a while. They sing this adorable song in English: "Poor little baby, don't cry again. You mother has gone to buy bananas..AGAIN!" So, so, cute. There is one kid, Tim's favorite that he calls "Little One", we are not sure if it is a boy or a girl. He/she is super competitive and a bit of a bully which makes Tim think it is a boy. But I always see he/she with pink flowered pants on, and a pink and purple dress that his/her mom made. All of the kids are either bald or have very little hair, so in many cases it is hard to tell.

The ladies invited me to sit with them. I went over to where they were fixing somebody's hair and was offered a chair to sit in. They wanted me to try making one of the small wraps in the woman's hair, but I had no idea how to do it so I was soon replaced by an expert. The best part was when they all started playing with my hair, my favorite! They had me get up and practice their traditional dance. It really is very difficult to get the rhythm down. It doesn't help when everyone else is cracking up about how funny I look trying to do it. Then the ladies asked me to teach them a traditional American dance. I had no choice but to teach them the Macarena and the Cotton Eyed Joe. They thought that both dances were very difficult, but they are much faster learners than I am. I was just getting ready to leave when they invited me to share their dinner with them. I really wasn't hungry, but I know how important it is in this culture to be able to share with a guest, so I said yes. I got a bowl with posho (a loaf of sticky white millet) and beans. I ran back to get my hot sauce to share. The ladies made the mistake of pouring as much hot sauce on theirs as I did on mine. I think they thought it was ketchup. One lady put the hot sauce on her son's beans. The poor kid took a handful of beans and then started screaming and crying. I felt so bad! them women wanted me to take pictures of them, so I did. Then they asked me to show them the pictures on my laptop. I brought out my laptop and we went through the pictures I took of them and some of my other albums. They wanted to see pictures of America, but would then make clucking/tsking noises when they saw my pictures. I realized when I got back to my house that I had dropped my memory card in the yard somewhere. I went back to look for it and told one of the ladies I had dropped it. I gave up, but then Cassie, Ryan and Tim came out to help me try looking again. When we reached the spot we saw that all of the women had gathered to look around for it. It was really sweet and touching that they were searching in the dark for my little memory card. We found it quickly when we added our flashlights to the search.

We said goodnight again and then went to the boys' hut to play cards in the candlelight. My friend from the US called and so I had a great conversation with him for a while. It's always wonderful to get calls from the US.

Frustration

2010-04-18T03:14:00.000-07:00

I am going to preface this post by saying: Don't take this the wrong way. I am not a very political person. I am a member of the Independent party because I choose not to affiliate myself with the two main parties. I am voting for a person, not their party. I don't enjoy discussing politics, I think there is a big danger when politics become too important. I think we should be in this world, not of it. However, right now I am annoyed enough that I wanted to say something.

Just about every time I go on Facebook, I see some kind of status or group about hating Obama, his policies, the USA..etc. I think it is incredibly immature to use a social networking site to vent about one's hatred for their President. I don't care if you didn't vote for him. As a democratic nation, we have to be okay with the other party, that means the democracy works! Why can't we unite as a nation and be proud of our country? Why can't we at least be respectful of the man or woman in office instead of using our freedom of speech to degrade somebody who deserves respect? Together we stand, divided we fall.

Hey Americans! Let's gain some perspective. How about you try living in Africa under a military dictatorship? Then you might be begging to go back to the USA. From what I have heard, and what I have seen, I know that for myself, I would chose the democratically elected President of the United States over any of the many dictators and military leaders that are in power all around the world.

It's funny to me that I am all the way in Uganda and I am hearing about how much Americans are whining about the new healthcare proposal. After this time in Africa, I can't understand that kind of thinking. I would challenge people that loving their neighbors includes caring about their health. Here is Uganda, even in the very poorest villages, when somebody is sick, the family friends and neighbors all give gifts of money so that they can visit a doctor. They may even construct a stretcher out of tree branches and canvas to carry their neighbor on their backs to the nearest medical center. Can we, as truly rich American, really be so selfish that we wont give a bit more money so that our neighbors can get the health care they need? I think we need to re-examine our priorities.

Once again. This post is just a rant of some thoughts that have been building up over the past couple of months. They are not meant to offend, they are just what I am thinking. I'm certainly not an expert when it comes to politics, but since it's my blog, not a politics class, I feel I have a right to say what I want to say. I am so happy to have been born into a country that allows me freedom of speech. For those of you that disagree with what I am saying, I would like to paraphrase Voltaire : I may not agree with a word you say, but I will wholeheartedly defend your right to say it.

The Cockroach Adventure

2010-04-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I sat down with Ryan and Tim to watch the 3rd Harry Potter movie. We sat of the couch in their room and set the laptop up on a small table. For the first hour we kept swatting at our feet, because something was tickling against them and making them itchy. Then, all of a sudden, we heard a fluttering/hissing noise from the wall between Tim's head and mine. He and I looked and then jumped ten feet in the air when we saw a big cockroach scurry down the wall and go behind the couch. I was really grossed out thinking that that was what had been crawling all over our feet for an hour. Tim was very brave and kneeled on the couch so that he could look behind it with a flashlight. The cockroach jumped towards him and all three of us screamed and ran to the other side of the room. I wish somebody had taped the scene. For twenty minutes, the three of us who are in our twenties would creep near the couch, take a look, see nothing, shudder and then retreat. That disgusting creature hid its self well. Finally we decided to let the bug win. We moved to my room and sat squished on my bed for the rest of the movie. Needless to say I shook out all of my sheets and tucked my mosquito net it very tightly, just in case our little nemesis decided to strike again.

Today is Sunday. We got up and ready for church. (This time I knocked my shoes against the wall to make sure nothing was inside of them). Church was long and hot. I couldn't pay attention so I watched the babies in the room and flipped through my Bible. I miss my church where I don't have to hear the message a sentence at a time to wait for translations. I mean, the message was good, but it's so choppy that my attention span just can't handle it. We went back to our house for lunch. We talked about asked Betty and Consy to stop cooking us meat, because we haven't been finishing the quantities they make for us, and it has been going to waste. I have not been eating meat at all. I just can't anymore. But then Betty and Consy walked through the gate carrying two chickens with them; one alive, and one headless. So we decided not to say anything about the meat until we had eaten those two. I just don't really enjoy eating anymore. It's more of a "do this to survive" kind of thing. So I am fine with just rice and beans twice a day.

I heard a little bit about the volcano that is erupting in Iceland. What is with all of these natural disasters? I just really hope and pray that it will have all cleared up by 17 days from now when I am trying to get home. Otherwise, I am going to be really upset. "Did you hear that Mother Nature? Cut it out!" The volcano seems to be ruining the travel plans of many people I know. My friends who are studying in England are trying to come home this week, and my father and his friend are supposed to come to Africa to go hiking in Namibia. I just hope everything works out.

I think I will probably spend the rest of the day trying to type up these registration forms. I really would rather rest, and honestly, nobody would care if I didn't finish them until work on Monday. I just want to be able to get out of the office next week. Only 11 days until we leave Kitgum.

The weekend blues

2010-04-17T02:38:00.000-07:00

Bummer. We got up to go to the orphanage at 10 with the pastor and his family. Finally got a call at 10:30 from Pastor Zane to say that half of his family has malaria so they are going to have to postpone our trip to next week. Oh well. Guess I will have to wait to get my baby holding fix. But there are children here to play with so I will be fine.

Last night I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I was in a funk and just really missed America. We had a big group hug last night and talked about how we miss being comfortable. This whole semester has been amazing. One new thing after another. Nothing is what we expect it to be. That's been really cool, and I really have loved it. But when things are constantly changing, you can never fully relax and feel comfortable. I think after three months we are all just wanting things to be what we expect them to be. To flip a light switch and have power. To be able to communicate with people outside of our immediate circle of Americans. To know what exactly we are eating and like it, and then other times to have variety in our diet. To feel clean. To not have to tuck mosquito netting tightly around us at night in fear of pesky, malaria carrying mosquitoes.. To not walk into the kitchen this morning to find our cook cutting apart the bloody carcass of an animal and having that smell of blood make me sick. To be able to drink the water! When I get to my house I am sticking my head into the sink and taking a looooooong drink. Can't wait. I can't wait to eat a salad. And wash my face with warm water. And not smell bad. But then I am afraid that when I get home, it is not going to be comfortable. It is probably going to make me uncomfortable that everything is so easy, and that there are so many luxuries that some of the people I have met here don't know exist. sigh...

Last night we watched the 2nd Harry Potter. I slept through the last part. Actually, what really happened was that I didn't want to get any nightmares last night, so I covered my eyes with a pillow during the scene in the Forbidden Forest and then woke up when the credits came on at the end. The power went out. We were in the middle of an amazing lightning storm. I have never seen such a cool one. The entire sky would light up so bright that it was like daylight. Watched Big Bang Theory until 1am. I decided to treat myself to some dessert. While watching Big Bang Theory, I ate an entire package of coconut cookies dipped in my secret stash of Nutella. So worth the stomach ache I had when I woke up this morning. I must have slept really hard, because I woke up in the same exact position I fell asleep in.

This morning it was raining and I was hoping the day would stay cool. No luck. The sun is high in the sky, and even though I am just sitting here, AND a fan is blowing on me, I am sweating. I think I will try to write up some of those registration forms today so that I don't have to do them tomorrow. This week I was asked to clean out this desk I have been using and reorganize it. I guess since there wasn't anything to do at the time, somebody thought that would be a good task. Well, now I am worried that when the woman who uses this desk comes back next week she is going to be mad that I was touching her things. I hope not! Maybe she will overlook the breach of personal space when she sees how neat it is and how easy it will be for her to find her things now.

I'm off to have some lunch and watch a movie or more Big Bang Theory.

Hot.Tired.Stiff.Sore.Cranky.BEWARE!

2010-04-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

I am hot, tired, stiff, sore and cranky!

Today was not as satisfying as it should have been. I accomplished quite a bit in comparison to the other students, and to what I have been doing the last couple days, but it still didn't seem like much. Pius told me I did a good job filing his papers the other day. That was nice to hear. I made an excel document for the health center to keep their medicine inventory in. I addressed envelopes and fied some correspondences for Pius. All day I had been waiting for a list of verified names for the Village Savings and Loans Association that I was to type up. I hept checking back to see if they had arrived, but they hadn't. During my lunch break I treated myself to watching Big Bang Theory while sitting on the cool concrete floor in my room and eating cookies dipped in the jar of Nutella I brought with me. I invited Betty and Concy to watch a movie with us anytime they want. I hope they take me up on that. I get a bit uncomfortable feeling like they are here to serve us, I would rather have a friendship with them.

Before going back to work, I talked with Tim, Ryan, Moses and Clarence. Probably the best part of my day was when I started speaking to Clarence in Acholi and he and Moses laughed at how much better I am at speaking it than Tim is. :) It was really funny seeing clarence double over with laughter talking about how bad Tim's pronouciation is. They invited me to go along with them to one of the sectors to see a drama group perform. I really wanted to go but I knew I had to wait for the paperwork to arrive so that I could get started. At 3:30, I finally got a stack of hand written forms to type up. By Monday, I should have at least 2,000 VSLA members to register. Even though I got a lot of them typed up, it wasn't a very exciting or fulfilling task... with 2,000 to do, it doesn't feel like I will ever be finished. I wish I had Cassie, Tim or Ryan's job. They spend the morning doing nothing and then get to go out to the field and talk to people. Doesn't see fair. But hey? Life isn't fair right? Should I even be allowed to complain? Probably not.

At 6:00 I decided to call it a day. Tim visited me in the office and we vented to each other about our days and about missing America, but at the same time not knowing what to expect when we go home. The four of us ate dinner together. Believe it or not it has actually been a while since the four of us were all together for a meal. I really am thankful fo rthe people that I was placed here with. We might get on each others' nerves, but we definitely have a lot of love for each other as well. We are about to watch the 2nd Harry Potter movie (we watched the 1st last night). It is our next movie series that we are going to watch in order. I am so happy it is the weekend. Seriously.... Thank God it's Friday. Tomorrow we are going to the orphanage in town with the pastor's family and then going to his place for lunch. I am psyched to get to hold some babies tomorrow. That will definitely put me in a better mood.

Rain!

2010-04-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

Every morning we pray for rain. It has been unusually dry in Kitgum these last few years - a disaster for a community that relies on agriculture.

It started pouring half an hour ago. Rain is such a blessing. I was so happy for the cool air that blew into the office. I had to get up and stand on the porch to watch it fall for a few minutes. Everyone else had taken cover, but I was the crazy mzungu that wanted to feel the rain on my face. Rain has such a rejuvenating effect on the world. I feel completely refreshed.

Pray that the rain continues. We really need it out here.

Thursday thoughts

2010-04-15T01:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think I am really meant to be a mother. Taking care of people comes naturally (and so does a little bit of nagging). Yesterday morning I checked to see how the guys were feeling and then made sure they had enough water to take with them into the field. Their response was "thanks, Mom". haha. I also just finished telling my boss, Pius, that he needs to eat his breakfast and maybe take a nap because he seems really tired. There's noting like a mom. Someone who thinks about our needs and reminds us to do things we were going to forget. We roll our eyes and say "I know, I know", but secretly we needed the reminder. Here's a shout out to my own mother. I love you Mom! Thanks for caring!

The women who live here have almost finished their counseling. They leave next Wednesday to go back to their villages and continue on with life. I don't want them to leave yet! It is going to be far too quiet around here. I love watching them carry their babies on their back- colorful fabric wrapped around the baby and tied across their chests. When I have my own kids, I want to carry them like that too.

Ryan and Tim went to a difficult counseling session yesterday. There was a man who had AIDS. The symptoms had caused him to be partially paralyzed, but his wife refuses to believe that he isn't just lazy. They have another lady (I think a sister) taking care of them and keeping the peace. She can't leave because the wife said she would let her husband starve or try to kill him so that she could be free of having to take care of him. Ryan and Tim said it was so hard to listen to all of this without crying. In so many cases we see people being extremely gracious and loving despite their poverty and pain, but in this case, it had really gotten this family down.

Talked to Dad last night. I miss him! He is buying my new brother's ticket to come from Haiti to the US. He will be coming when I am home to welcome him too! In 21 days I will be back in the USA. So many things are changing for me when I get back home. I can't wait for my family to get bigger!

At dinner, Cassie, Ryan and I spent half an hour talking about all of the food we miss from home. Rice and beans are getting old.. I like them but I don't have much of an appetite anymore. I eat for nourishment, not really for enjoyment. I also cant stomach meat anymore.. Can't wait to have a nice big SALAD.

4-14-10

2010-04-14T04:03:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday morning I put on my nice black shoes and I walked outside. I felt something squirming in my shoe and I panicked. I jumped to the conclusion that I had a tarantula/scorpion in my shoe, and I screamed and quickly kicked it off. I was surprised, relieved and a little embarrassed about causing a scene when I saw a baby salamander run out instead.

: I am thankful to have been blessed with good health this entire semester (and pray that that continues through the month). One of my biggest fears is being sick, especially in a foreign environment, so I thank God for not giving me that challenge to face here. Poor Ryan was very sick on Monday morning; he had some kind of food poisoning and had been vomiting all night. We spent the morning caring for him and I went to the morning devotions meeting to excuse our absence and ask for prayers for Ryan. When the meeting was over, every person got in line to personally ask me about Ryan's sickness and express how sorry they were. The nurse and another supervisor came over to check on Ryan and asked the rest of us to continue observing him throughout the day in case we should need to go to the clinic. All day I had people inquiring about Ryan's health. It's really wonderful how much Ugandans seem to care about each other and their visitors. They make us feel more than cared for. When I first came to Africa I was confused with one of the responses we would get from Ugandans. In the case of any complaint, sadness, pain or illness, their response is always "I'm sorry!". We spent a good month telling people "Don't be sorry! It's not your fault!". I have come to really value this response. Instead of giving advice or trying to relate to the experience, the response shows that the person wants to support the other individual, and wishes they were not being challenged. Saying "I'm sorry" connects you to the person who is sad. I think the reason we don't often say this in the US is that we don't want to associate ourselves with the pain of others (which explains why we are quick to assure Ugandans that it is not their fault). That is one of the many things I appreciate about the Ugandans I have met; that they wish support each other in a way that I have not witness to the same degree in America.

I am sitting in the office. I have been filing piles of disorganized papers.. And by filing I mean figuring out how to group the papers, using a strange two holed hole-puncher, and then organizing them. It's nice to feel useful. I think later I will be going out to the field to do more market surveys. I was right - the info I gathered yesterday was not enough.. Now i will have to go back and fill in the gaps. Hopefully that will involve riding another motor bike.

It's another hot and sweaty day in Kitgum.. The clouds are such a tease, you think it's going to rain but it only sprinkles for five minutes and heats up again. How will the crops grow?? On a high note, Concy and Betty realized how much I love Stony's Ginger soda and bought half a case of it for us :) Had rice and beans for lunch. Yum!

Covered with dust

2010-04-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in the office covered head to toe with orange dust.. It looks like I got a bright orange spray on tan! and my hair is out of control... I don't know if I should bother brushing it anymore... To me these are all signs that I had a successful and wonderful day.

This morning Maureen came over to the guest house as I was finishing my breakfast to say that we were skipping devotions to get a head start in the field. Maureen, William, Robert and I got into a Land Rover and hit the road. (and hit it over and over again as we bounced up and down over the pot holes). We visited almost all of the FH sites in Kitgum over the course of the day. At each site William would come with me to the market to do my survey. We would walk up and down the rows of sellers and ask them how much each product cost, and then I would try out my limited Acholi and say "apwolo matek" (thank you very much), which they all got a kick out of. Unfortunately my data is skewed.. President Museveni came to Kitgum today.. Imagine that! Most people were out in the big field where his plane would land waiting to catch a glimpse of him. The markets were empty. I will have to try again tomorrow. Maureen would stay in the office and do an assessment of the building and supplies. When we were finished we would drive to the next site. I also went with William to check out a few of the dams that need repair. One of the best parts of the day was waiting for him to look at a site for a new marketplace to be cleared. They told me "Madame, the bushes are too high, we fear you should stay behind while we look". An elderly man was seated outside of his hut nearby. He picked up his chair ad a stool ad came over to offer me a chair to sit in. then he sat with me and we tried to talk for a few minutes until it was time to leave. I also loved the children that got so excited when I greeted them in Acholi. they told they parents "this one speaks!". haha

I wish I had brought my camera. we had a few hours of driving and we passed by a gorgeous mountain. In the car, I had a lot of time to think. I thought of a few business ideas that would help with development in the area. I also talked with my team a lot. I love them. I really love working with such splendid people. I fell asleep on the way back to Kitgum for lunch and they were worried that I wouldn't make it the rest of the day... I assured them I was fine. I ate and then gave Concy a few pieces of fabric and my measurements for the dresses she is making me. Then we set out again to finish up.

When we got back i typed up my info and then went out to dance with the ladies. On Sunday night they had taught me how to do the traditional dance and they sure got a kick out of watching me do it. I chased a dozen or so kids around the compound and sat with them for a few minutes before getting the keys to come use the internet. They are so beautiful. It makes me so sad when I see them fight with each other. they all wanted to sit with me so they started hitting each other and crying. Seeing innocent children be nasty towards each other goes against nature in my mind..

Now I am off to eat and wash all this dust off of me. Continued prayers for good nights of sleep would be nice.. I haven't had many lately..

Sunday in Kitgum

2010-04-11T05:39:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep last night. You know when you wake up in the middle of the night, and for some reason you just feel scared? Well the shadows of the curtains blowing in the wind were freaking me out and I was up half the night. At one point I was convinced that something was in the room. I am quite proud of my courage because I slowly reached for my flashlight and then whipped it out and flashed it around the room. Nothing was there. Didn't help me sleep...

We got up and had rice and beans for breakfast. (sensing a trend yet?) We joined the rest of the compound in a large rectangular gazebo for church. I love watching the Ugandans get really into the worship music. They were clapping and dancing around to songs I couldn't understand, but still appreciated. The sermon was about two hours long. It was good but I had a hard time staying awake with the heat, and the pauses for the translator to catch everyone up. The pastor is new to Kitgum. He is from Oregon, but has lived in Uganda for more than six years with his wife. They are both very young, but they have ten kids (8 adopted). We talked to them after the service and they invited us over for lunch next Saturday. The wife, Summer, is going to bring us to the orphanage in town to help out.

Cassie and I have been watching episodes of this great show called "Big Bang Theory". It's a great show. We ate rice, chipote, fried chicken and beans for lunch. I hand-washed all of my clothes which was pretty fun. Now I am in the office checking my emails. I snuck away so that I wouldn't have to be stressed for time, and have to share the internet cord. Now we are going to town with Concy and Betty.

Saturday in Kitgum

2010-04-10T03:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I worked with the director, Pius. He is a really great guy, but I still feel a little bit nervous because I want to make a good impression, and he is the head boss. We drove in a car with Maureen to Padebe East. There we met Clarence and Joseph. Pius went to a meeting, and Clarence and I were dropped off at the market. He and I took inventory of the goods available and their prices. It took about thirty minutes. It went well, but I was really grossed out when we passed a butcher's shop. There were chunks of goat meat sitting on the counter in the sun. They were so covered with flies that you couldn't even see the meat. I sincerely hope that that is not the same meat that we are eating. Joseph and Maureen picked us up and we sat in the car for at least an hour and a half waiting for Pius to be done in his meeting. We came back to the office and I made an Excel document for my information. After that, there was no other work for me to complete so I was done for the day. I have to say, I think I prefer riding on the motor bike. I felt very sick to my stomach after the bumpy drive to the site. These are the kind of roads my mother would drive at 2 miles an hour. Here we take the roads at at least 50.

I took a nice nap, and then Moses took us on a walk into town to see the market and the hotel that has a pool. It was incredibly hot. We came back and ate, and then I watched The Covenant with Cassie. I screamed bloody murder a few times at the scary/suspenseful parts. Then I watched Star Wars with Tim and Ryan. Cassie and I stayed up late talking.

Today we got up at 9 and had leftovers for breakfast. We played some cards. Now we are in the office taking turns with the internet cord. Later we are going to the swimming pool and I hope to do some laundry. The guys laid out to get a tan this morning.. they look like human strawberries now.. That's sure gonna hurt!

Intro to Kitgum and the Start of Practicum

2010-04-08T10:13:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks I had been loosing enthusiasm about Africa. That ended today! I am back to my old, enthusiastic, Africa-loving self! Let me tell about my week leading up to this point, and then I will talk about today.

On Tuesday, the eight Go Ed students that have practicum in Uganda left the guest house around 7:30am. We drove until a little after lunch, when we had reached our first practicum location - Mbale. Mbale is where Susan and Nathan will be this month. We were given brief introductions and then it was time to say goodbye to Janae and Brittney. We prayed for them and hugged. The van then left to take them up the mountain to Kapchoura before it rained. I took a bit of a nap. The Mbale staff took us out for a lunch of rice, beans and chipote. We came back and I took another even longer nap until dinner. Something about the heat makes it possible for me to sleep for hours. Dinner was spaghetti noodles and potatoes. The six of us played cards for a few hours and then went to bed. The next morning we were startled out of bed by the Mbale cook, Justine, insisting that we must take "tea" before we leave for Kitgum. So we had our breakfast of toast with jam, said farewell to Nathan and Susan (who I will miss dearly), and were on our way. Ten minutes later we were back again to get the pillows and cell phones we had forgotten. Susan gave me one of her motion sickness pills to take. after I took it she told me it was also a bit of a sleeping pill. The four of us each had out own row, so I fell asleep for most of the ride. The farther we drove, the hotter it got. The paved roads had ended early on, and we were driving on what seemed like one big pothole. It was also incredibly dusty. On one particularly bad stretch of road, we heard a popping and hissing sound as one of our tires burst. We stopped for an hour to put on a spare, and then at the nearest gas station to fix the broken one. The drive seemed to go on forever, until we finally reached Kitgum.

We pulled in the gate of FH Kitgum, and saw that the fence was lined with buildings, and then farther inside were clusters of huts. There was a half fence, behind which was a small house, and two guest houses. The house belongs to Pius, the director. Cassie and I are in the bigger guest house/hut. It has a bedroom with three twin beds, a toilet room, a bath room, a living room with a refrigerator, and a big front porch with a table and chairs for us to take our meals at. The boys are in a round hut/house that has a room, bathroom, and living room. These accommodations are very comfortable, I almost cried with relief when I saw them. I had assumed that we would be "roughing it" a little bit more, but it is a blessing to at least have a comfortable place to sleep when everything else is new and challenging. I think the reason I have been so negative the past couple of weeks is that I have a hard time dealing with change. It really stresses me out when things are different. But now that I am here in Kitgum and the unknown is behind me, I feel a lot more comfortable and happy. We spent the afternoon napping and then eating. Our cook's name is Betty, and our housekeeper is Conci. They are both very sweet. The four of us went out to play with the kids that live on the compound. Their mothers were looking on, and then brought out some drums and started dancing. I joined them, which was apparently very funny. As they watched me try to learn their traditional dances, they would turn their faces away to try and cover their laughter. I'm sure I did look a little bit ridiculous trying to shake my hips the way they do, with minimal success. I chased some adorable children around, and then sat down with their mothers. They brought me some mangos from a nearby tree to eat with them. Our conversation was limited because they only knew a few things in English, but I learned their names and then found out that most of them are ages 19-24. I couldn't believe it. So many young mothers! The four of us had dinner and then watched an episode of Star Wars together before bed.

This morning I woke up early to the sound of the rooster crowing. I eventually got up and prepared myself for the day. It was a decent temperature in the morning, its a shame it had to get hotter throughout the day. We ate breakfast and then joined the FH staff for a morning devotion. At the end of the devotion time we went around to introduce ourselves and then went with our respective sectors to learn about what we will be doing. I followed a man names William, who is the leader of the Engineering staff. We went to the office that is shared by six staff members who are either engineers or work for LAN project (what I will be doing). William told me a little bit about the program. Basically, during the in 21 years of insurgency in Uganda, Internally Displaced Peoples (IDP) were moved to camps. Now they are moving back to their homes. FH is working with the communities to fund ways for the families to make money and support themselves. Right now, they are creating teams of people based on their sector who can help build roads. These roads will be helpful to the development of the community, as well as making schools and clinics more accessible. Laborers would also get paid cash, which they would use to build the assets of their households, and spend in local markets which would boost the local economy. What I will be helping with is called the Village Savings and Loan Association (VSLA). Each sector will have its own savings group. To be part of the group, members pay a minimum fee at each meeting. This sum accumulates, and members can take out loans which must be paid back with interest. There is also a welfare fund for small household problems which is loaned without interest. At the end of 8-12 months, all members get back the money that they saved, and a portion of the interest based on their overall contributions. I am going to be teaching new groups how to do all of this. There wasn't any office work for me to do today, so I visited with some of the men who taught me some words in Acholi. They said the most important thing for me to say is "An anyaka aa ki America" (I am a girl from America). They said that as soon as people hear this they will be very happy to see me and have confidence in what I tell them because the United States has done many beneficial things in the area. The men were waiting around all afternoon for somebody to bring back fuel for the motor bikes. Apparently there was a fuel shortage in town. After lunch, one of the FH workers on a motor bike pulled up to my guest house and told me he was taking me to West Pader to see one of the roads they were going to build, and to meet one of the supervisors in that sector.

Being in Africa has been a chance for me to do many things that are outside of my comfort zone. Getting on the back of a motor bike was one of them. I donned my helmet and swung onto the back, then held on to my driver tightly. For the first twenty minutes, I was in a state of terror and prayer. As I have said, the roads are really terrible out here. there were points there the wheels of the bike were balancing on a foot of pavement between two big pot holes, and I was whispering prayers for protection. Eventually I felt more comfortable and loosened my grip on my driver's jacket. It was a very bumpy ride. Thank goodness for my sunglasses, because there was so much flying at my face, and little pebbles bouncing off of my lenses. It was a forty minute ride to West Pader. I started enjoying myself and watched the beautiful scenery pass by. Picture a motor bike flying down a dirt road, surrounded by tall grass and those African trees from The Lion King on either side. It was breath-taking. We got out at the West Pader office and I met Joseph and Clarence. We rode out onto a dirt walking path that they want to turn into a new road. The unfortunate thing about wearing a skirt was riding on a tiny path with pricker bushes on either side that scratched up my legs as we passed them. Back at the office again, I got some more information about the savings program and made plans to visit one of the savings groups to watch how everything is done. Then we headed back to the FH compound. I felt very proud of myself for getting over my fear of motor bikes today. Now I am feeling very sore. almost two hours of riding on a metal seat, on a very bumpy road was very hard on my rear end. :) When I got back I looked in the mirror and saw that everything except for where my sunglasses covered was brown with dirt. Washing my face produced very muddy water. We ate dinner, spoke with Pius and now we are trying to use the internet.

Cassie told me today about the women that live with us on the compound. FH does trauma counseling for women that have been raped, kidnapped and abused. Most of these women go to their counseling sessions in the villages. The women that live with us are the ones that were considered "at risk". They were severely depressed coming in, and many of them were suicidal. Here they have gone through intensive counseling and have been rebuilding their self esteem. Most of the children running around are the products of rape. They are such beautiful children. I hope that their mothers can see past the pain of the rape to see the beautiful miracle that their children are.

I am very happy in Kitgum. Three weeks does not seem like nearly enough time to be here. I can see myself coming back for longer. Everything about today was exciting and new. It made me feel so alive.

Off to Practicum

2010-04-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

Today is our last day in Kampala before heading off to practicum. All groups will be working at food for the Hungry sites around Uganda. I am going to Kitgum, which is in Northern Uganda. My group is the biggest, I will be with Ryan, Tim and Cassie. My official title is "Livelihood Assistant". I am not sure exactly what that means, so I am ready to be flexible. What I have been told is that I will be passing out seeds, teaching people about saving their money, and helping single mothers and rape/war victims start their own businesses or find ways to make a living. I am a little bit nervous. I don't feel qualified to be teaching people older than me how to make a livelihood. I guess I have to remember that I have more education than they probably do, and that I will have somebody giving me guidance. Ryan and Tim will be doing HIV/AIDS prevention. Cassie will be working with rape/trauma victims and listening to and recording their stories.

The other students that are doing their practicums in Uganda are as follows: Susan and Nathan who are going to Mbale. Susan will be doing child development programming , and Nathan will be a junior health and safety officer. Janae and Brittney are going to Piswa, which is up at the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. Janae will be working with children, and helping with curriculum in the schools. Brittney will be doing economic research. These are all very vague descriptions because honestly, none of us have been told more than that.

Tomorrow we are leaving Kampala at 6 :30am. The Kitgum group (me) and the Mbale group will be dropped off in Mbale. We are leaving so early so that the Piswa group can get to the top of the mountain before it rains, because otherwise it will be impassable. We will spend the night in Mbale and continue on to Kitgum Wednesday. We will be at practicum until the 29th of this month. Then we will come back to Kampala to debrief and then fly back to the USA! Wow, time sure flies!

This trip has truly passed in the blink of an eye. It feels like only yesterday I was at orientation, not knowing what to expect. Every step of this journey has had its uncertainties. At the same time, every step has been a valuable adventure that has taught me more about myself. Now I really can't imagine what the transition will be like to come home.

Today: We relaxed in the morning. After lunch I went to Garden City with Tim, Ryan and Brittney. We saw How to Tame a Dragon in the movie theater. It was a really fun movie to watch, and the air conditioning was fantastic. Then we went to the casino and played some Black Jack. I think we were a little bit too confident going in. All of us lost our money except for Ryan. Oh well, it was still a lot of fun. We met a nice man from Australia who was working with the UN. That guy sure lost a lot of money. We talked a taxi driver down from 20,000 to 13,000 for the ride home :)

We had delicious sweet and sour meatballs for dinner. Our last American meal before we eat beans, rice and chipote every meal each day. I went to exchange money with Susan and Brittney. Then we walked up to Ciao-Ciaos and the Italian market for ice cream. I bought some cheap packages of movies to watch over practicum. I also bought quite a lot of food. My biggest concern is always that I don't want to be hungry. I bought banana chips, potato chips, peanuts, gnuts, cashews, cookies, chocolate, peanut butter, Nutella, ketchup and hot sauce. Hopefully that will fill in any gaps between meals. We came back, finished laundry, packed and then watched the sixth Star Wars episode. So good! Once again I am the last to finish packing, and the last to go to bed.

I'm not sure how often I will be able to blog over practicum. But hopefully I will. Goodnight and I Love You!

Easter Sunday

2010-04-04T13:10:00.000-07:00

Hey this is my 100th post! I never expected myself to become this dedicated to my blog. I'm a little bit proud of myself :)

Happy Easter everyone!!

This morning we all went to Kate's church for the Easter service. It was pretty good. I really wish I could have been at home. My church in MA always has the most beautiful service. Easter should be a really joyful service, but I wasn't really feeling it today. Maybe that's just because I am used to singing more Easter songs. We met a nice guy that works up in Northern Uganda. Coincidentally he was also visiting Germany last time I was there, when the World Cup was in Germany. Maybe I will run into him again.

We had yummy leftovers for lunch and then went to Ciao-Ciaos for ice cream. For some reason I can't stop getting Hazelnut, it's just too good!! I worked on my class schedule. Mostly Business classes for next fall. I just don't know how I will register because I am gone all day during my time slot. I played Black jack with Tim, Ryan and Nathan. We took turns being the dealer and used some of my coins. It was really fun.

At 4:00, Kate's friend Randy came to bring us over to the BBQ at his sister's house. All of the people there were married couples with young children. I got to see some of the cutest adopted babies ever! One little boy had glasses on and looked like a baby Steve Erkle! We had yummy hamburgers with real cheddar cheese, cole slaw, potatoes, fruit salad, veggies, deviled eggs.. It was so great! It felt like a summer cook out, because it was so warm. I spent a lot of time talking with Tim and just relaxing. I had Kate's friend Kristy look at some spots on my leg, which she identified as possibly being scabies. So she gave me her extra scabies lotion, which I will use just in case it is scabies. Can't hurt. And it smelled wonderful when a few other people got scabies and used the same lotion.

Back at the house we all watched another Star Wars episode. I love Yoda! Now it's time for bed. Tomorrow is our last day to relax before the start of practicum!

A Day at Garden City (and the Casino!)

2010-04-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

Got up this morning for some wonderful pancakes with Nutella and pineapples. We really are spoiled on this trip. So much good food! We played cards for an hour or so and then had a mini dance party in honor of Vestine. We all said goodbye to Vestine, our favorite Rwandan around lunch time.

We were given per-diem money to go out for lunch, so we decided to hit up Garden City. Most of the group wanted to walk all the way there. Me? No thanks. I'll be spending all of next month walking around in the ridiculous heat, plus I can't handle a forty-five minute walk when I am already hungry. Brittney, Tim and I got a private hire taxi to take us. When we pulled up we noticed a big Casino sign. I hadn't noticed it last time we were in Kampala, but then, I'm not very observant. We went to check it out. Outside was a metal detector that we had to walk through. All three of us set it off, but the guard told us to just go on in.. I wondered if it was just because we were Mzungus. It was really nice inside. They were still setting up the card tables so I played one slot machine which was a waste of 50cents. :) We met the rest of the group and went up to the food court to eat. Brittney and I shared some noodles.

We split into two groups. While the others went to shop, Tim, Brittney, Ryan and I went back to the Casino to try our luck at Black Jack. Once again, we all set off the metal detector, but were waved on through. I surveyed the card tables and got a little bit nervous because, while I know how to play, I didn't have the confidence that was exuding off of the people who were already there. The game was also a little bit different. All of the cards were dealt face up. I went to the table that had three middle aged Chinese ladies and asked one if I could sit down next to her. She said "Why Not!?" with a very adorable accent, so I sat down. I bought into the game with 20,000 Ugandan Shillings (about $10), which got me four 5,000UGsh chips. Brittney, Tim and Ryan also bought into the game. It took a few rounds for me to get used to the hand motions and the terminology. Then I started winning, and boy was that a thrill! I made sure that once I had won back the 20,000 in chips that I had started with to put those to the side and just continue playing with my winnings. When we decided to call it quits, I had 55,000 in chips. So I had won 35,000UGsh. I probably would have been better off if I had lost, because then I wouldn't have fallen in love with Black Jack. As I cashed in my chips, I thought about how much my Opa used to love going to the Casino. I imagined him up in Heaven sending me some of his luck, and smiling.

We went down to the Supermarket and I used my winning to buy a flashlight, water bottle, cookies and some other snacks that I need for practicum. Brittney and I hired a ride back to the house. Dinner was tacos - one of my favorites because there is always a large bowl of guacamole. I went with Kate to bring some food over to her friend's house for the Easter cookout tomorrow. Then we gathered in the living room to watch Star Wars (4th episode). Can you believe that the first ever Star Wars movie that I've seen was today, in Africa? Crazy! Not sure yet if I like it as much as the Star Trek movie I saw a few weeks ago.

Now it is time for bed. Easter Sunday is tomorrow. It's sad being away from home on my favorite holiday. Today is my mother's birthday. Wish I could be there for that as well. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you!!

Never go shopping after exchanging money

2010-04-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

You've heard that it's bad to do your grocery shopping on an empty stomach.. We here's a new one - Never go to the Friday Market after exchanging money..

We slept in all morning. I got up at 11 and waited around until lunch. I had forgotten how slow the internet in Uganda was, so Skype isn't working. After lunch we got a ride to the Western Union down the street (Kate was on her way to get gas) and exchanged some money. Crossing the street was terrifying after getting to use crosswalks in Kigali. With full wallets, Brittney, Cassie and I walked up the street and found a private hire taxi that brought us to the Friday Market. Friday Market is set up at the train tracks outside of the city. There are a bunch of blankets set up on the ground with all sort of crafts, clothes, jewelry, baskets, carvings..etc. We went a little crazy with the shopping. How do you say no to people when they are so friendly and helpful? How do I not buy the beautiful green candlesticks when the nice lady notices that green is my favorite color and then shows me all of the items she has that match my green shirt and jacket? I saw a lot of things I wanted.. and I am a little bit ashamed to say that I bought most of them. But then, I know that I will be happy to have reminders of this amazing experience. I'm just a little bit worried about how I will get it all home. I think I will be leaving most of my clothes in Africa.. When the three of us decided we were finished we called the same driver to pick us up and take us home. It is so much easier to understand Ugandan accents after hearing Rwandan accents for a month.

Everyone had been to the market and we all brought out all of our purchases from the whole trip and laid them out on the floor to admire. It was like having our own little market in the living room. It is amazing how inexpensive everything is here. The paper bead necklaces are really cool, I paid about .50 cents for them here. I could easily sell them in the States for 5-10 dollars each.

After admiring our treasures, and coveting the things we wished we had bought, we went to Ciao-Caios for ice cream. I had hazelnut and pistachio, and it was heavenly. I love Ciao-Ciaos.. how will I live without it? :) Susan bought me a pair of sunglasses, because she broke my old pair. (Side story: back in Kigali, I watched Susan break my sunglasses, try to put them back together, look around and not see anyone watching, and then put them back where she found them. It was hilarious. It it was even more funny when I told her I had seen the whole thing.) I also bought some shampoo and conditioner for practicum.

We had a lovely dinner and then watched a movie. We all played frisbee, and then poker (which I was winning until I decided to stop playing). I called Mom with the 5,000UGsh of minutes that I had bought today. the call got cut off when I ran out of minutes. It was very frustrating. We watched a bootleg version of Alice in Wonderland. Now we are just hanging around relaxing before bed. Tim serenaded us with Kate's guitar for a while. It was really soothing and nice. Then he and Ryan made up a song about living in Uganda. It's really quiet here without the other half of the Go Ed family.

Leaving Rwanda

2010-04-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Professor Jackson came to the house for our last class with him. Then I spent the entire day writing my final paper for his class. The subject was how I think Rwanda will have developed by 2020.

Dinner was Aidah's delicious quesadillas with cheese, taco meat, and pica de gaillo (she calls them tacos). Aryn had invited our Rwandan assistants (the ones that had showed us around town in the beginning) for dinner. I got my paper turned in by 9pm and was able to hang out with everyone on our last night together. We built a bonfire out on the driveway. This probably seemed very strange to our Rwandan guests because in Rwanda, they only build bonfires when somebody has died. We sung some songs together and they tried to teach us a traditional Rwandan dance. Speeches are very popular at all of the Rwandan gatherings I have witnessed, and our guests all got up to say a few words. The smell of the campfire was very comforting to me. It reminded me of summer, smores, and being around my best friends. I closed my eyes and imagined myself up at camp with my friends watching the stars. I have such a good imagination that, for a few moments, I really believed I was back at home.

After our guests left, we stayed up all night hanging out. We built a big fort out of sheets and chairs in the living room, just like the ones I used to make when I was little. We laid under it and talked for a long time, and then watched a movie. I really am going to miss my Go ED friends. We have become like a family. They are all so special and unique. I really hate goodbyes. I hate that our group is splitting in half and that I may never see these people again.

At 4am I was all packed and ready to go. I checked my email and found out that me and my school friends got into the apartments on campus for next fall. It is exciting to think about what next year will bring for me. We loaded our things onto the "Just" bus, for our last ride with them. We all hugged goodbye and then the Uganda group left for the bus station.

Today we rode with Kampala Couch. These are huge coach buses that sit up really high because all of the luggage is stored below. The bus was very comfortable in comparison to other buses we have taken. The first few hours of our ride were horrible. A combination of bumpy roads and the swaying of the bus made most of us feel pretty sick. When we got to the border and had to go through customs, Vestine and I almost puked. Susan gave me one of her prescription motion sickness pills. I needed a little bit of coaxing to take it because I normally try to stay away from medicines. Vestine told me to take it and trust God that it will help me. Hearing her say that really helped, so I took it. It made me feel much better. When we got back on the bus after the border, the road got really bumpy. Someone in the back yelled "Welcome to Uganda", and I remembered how bad the roads in this country are. The drunk men in the back started singing at the top of their lungs. It was obnoxious, and a few of us sat fuming in our seats. The bus stopped at one point and Vestine had to go to the bathroom so she went up to the front to get off. We saw her go to the front and everyone thought she got off the bus, but then the bus started moving. Everyone started yelling for the bus to stop, even the men in the back were yelling and one of them ran up to tell the driver to stop. Then we realized that Vestine had sat down at the front to wait. I felt a lot friendlier towards the drunk guys after their attempt to stop the bus. They finally quieted down and I fell into a sleep coma for the rest of the trip.

I used the strangest bathroom at one of the stops. The ladies area was unclosed by a shoulder height sheet metal fence. Inside was a concrete floor that sloped down to the middle where there was a drain. Basically you pee anywhere on the floor and it runs into the drain. Not my favorite way to relieve myself.

We finally got to Kampala at 4:30pm. We loaded into a matatu that Kate had sent for us and drove to our guest house. We were sad to see that the gorilla sign had been taken off of the billboard on our road. The guest house really feels like home. I love it so much. It was strange having only half of the group here. We were happy to see Kate, Grace, Grace, and Howa again. Dinner was delicious. We filled Kate and Grace in on our week at TTC, and ate delicious pumpkin cake again. We all watched The Sand Lot using the projector in the upstairs living room. Now I am just enjoying the sounds of the neighborhood. A few houses are playing music and all of the sounds are mixing together in a way that I have grown to find very comforting. I love this place. It's great to be back in Uganda.

Bags are packed

2010-03-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been joyously relaxing. I have done a lot of napping and watching movies. There are more than a few things that I love about our Kigali house, but right now, I am just ecstatic to have a real toilet, showers and Aidah's cooking!!

We were going to leave Friday for Kampala, but Aryn went to buy our tickets and Friday was sold out so now we are leaving Thursday. We leave half of our group here for their internships. The half of us going to Kampala will be splitting up on Tuesday to go to our separate sites. Only one day left together. It's really sad. Time has flown by so quickly!

Today I went to Kimironko market with Susan to buy fabric. Riding public transportation is not my favorite thing to do. It requires a lot of squeezing in to a small space, and then getting out and rearranging every time somebody is let off. Kimironko was bustling with people. We headed towards the fabric section. I immediately saw some patterns that I liked and haggled the prices down. There is nothing more satisfying than walking away and then having the person pull you back and accept your price. I saw a really pretty pink tie-dye wrap with beads on the ends. I bought it, but then quickly felt buyers remorse as I saw the other colors of the same thing that other booths had. I asked a different shop keeper if I could trade my pink one for her blue one. All the women around burst into laughter and continued thinking it was hilarious for another ten minutes. Then one lady came up with a blue one and exchanged it with mine, so I did end up getting the color I wanted.

We came back for lunch and then did some packing. Why did I only bring a small duffel bag, shoulder bag, and a back pack? I can just barely fit my souvenirs from Rwanda in.. let alone the ones I left in Uganda, or the ones I plan on buying Friday at Friday Market. This is not good! He had dinner and then our last Owning Poverty session. We talked about our time together and our fears and expectations about practicum.

Tried to work on my paper that is due Wednesday at 10pm.. failed. better luck tomorrow :)

Akagera Safari and Kigali at last!

2010-03-28T05:10:00.000-07:00

Saturday-

I jumped out of bed when I realized we were going home and I quickly packed my suitcase, used the squatty potty one last time and ran to the van. i wanted to get a decent seat for the ride home and the safari. Aryn shouldn't have been surprise that our group was all at the van waiting for her. We were all so incredibly ready to leave. We piled in and hit the road.

We got to Akagera game park around 7:00 am for our safari. I had been a little bit reluctant to go because I wanted to get back to Kigali, but it was SO worth the few extra hours and the $35. We got to drive down onto an open grassland and get out to take pictures of the zebras and giraffes. My African experience is now complete, I had been waiting to see a giraffe. We got to get so close to them!! Giraffes are so majestic! I love them so much. And nothing is cooler than seeing them in their natural habitat. I'll never appreciate a zoo again! I can't believe I was 100ft away from a real, live tall giraffe. Zebras are also really cool. My camera doesn't always take very good pictures, but I got a few really good ones.

We picked up a Rwandan named Tito that needed a ride to Kigali, and drove back to the city. Aryn pre-ordered some pizzas from Sole Luna, and really good restaurant. We got there and before they staff could finish passing out plates, we had already devoured a third of the pizzas. The fifteen of us ate thirteen pizzas in twenty minutes. It was fantastic.

I was so happy to see our house in Kigali. I don't think you can truly appreciate how wonderful a toilet is until you have lived a week without one. And my bed!! My beautiful, wonderful, comfortable bed!! And technology! It's safe to say I was glued to my lap top for the rest of the night catching up on emails, figuring out housing for next year, and uploading pictures. Aidah (I've been spelling it Ida this whole time) is amazing. I love that woman. She made us enchiladas and SALAD and chocolate cake for dinner. I don't think she knows how much we missed her. All week everyone kept saying how they couldn't wait to get home to Aidah. I had been in such a hurry to leave this morning that I didn't brush my hair.. and I didn't brush it all day until I went to bed. It's good to be home!

(looking good after waking up at 4:30 and not brushing my hair and sleeping in the van)

Coolest animal EVER

Field Research week- Friday

2010-03-28T04:09:00.000-07:00

(copied from journal)

Friday-

Thank God I made it to Friday. I just want to be in a comfortable place again.

Everyone was is a pissy mood this morning. The drive to our interviews feels longer and more uncomfortable every time we have to squeeze into the taxi to do it. We were all tired of the interviews. I am sure this all sounds immature, and people who weren't with us probably wonder why we disliked this week so much. I personally didn't mind the interviews. I was happy to know that each one helps FH guide their aid and development work to be more affective. But it is hard to have such extreme poverty shoved in your face. Our mornings are filled with coming to terms with how poor, sick and hungry most Rwandans are. I can't speak for others, but I know I certainly felt a lot of guilt when I thought back to my home in America, and how much I have that these people will never see in their lifetimes. Then having to spend the nights at TTC where we could never be alone, or have privacy. We spent this week tired, hungry, and feeling dirty and smelly. We were stared at wherever we went, and could never feel normal or at ease. It's just been a tough week, and there were points where I didn't think we would make it to the end.

Our interviews were in a new district today. All the neighbors were interested to see us. I think this area must have almost no contact with white people because all the children surrounded us and were touching our arms and hands, fascinated to see if our skin felt the same as theirs. During one interview, two adorable little girls climbed all over me rubbing my arms, and playing with my hair. they would take my long hair and put it on their heads and pretend that it was theirs. Then they would fix it by putting it behind my ears, and looking at my earrings.

During the third interview, I was asking the questions. I asked how many meals the family eats a day. The father replied that when crops are good, the family eats two meals a day, but when they are bad, they all only eat one meal a day. This week I have been mostly able to put this kind of information into the back of my mind to get through it, but I nearly lost it today. Tim and Cassie were on either side of me and noticed that I was having a hard time. I started tearing up. They both leaned of and wrote "hang in there" on my paper. I made it to the end, but it was tough. At the next house, the older woman who we interviewed look at me and asked me to pray out loud for her because she has one eye that is blind. I get really nervous when I am asked to pray on the spot. I don't know why but I just get stage fright or something. But I said the best prayer I could come up with and prayed with a shaky voice. I hope it was okay. I've never been one to create long winded and drawn out prayers. Mine are always short and simple. We interviewed one household where I didn't like the people we met. The two sisters that lived together kept leaving the room with a stick and beating the neighborhood children that were outside trying to watch. Most of the families have been so kind and children seem to feel free to come sit inside houses to watch, but not with these two women.

We got out last six interviews done before lunch and then met up with the group. We were all ecstatic to be finished. We went back to TTC and I laid in bed for a while. I got really homesick. Yesterday I had written a list of all the foods and activities I missed from home, which didn't do much to make me feel better. I listened to my iPod and tried to nap. I called my mom at work from my cell phone. It was so relieving to hear her voice. I could talk for long because it was expensive, but I needed some encouragement to get through the rest of our last day. Only one more month until I get to go home and see my family and friends! I am building it up in my head, but I also worry about re-entry. How will I face the lavish life I have been give? The richest family we interviewed made about $30 a month for the entire family to live one. Every penny was spent of schooling and food. So many parents going hungry so that their children can eat. Why was I so blessed? Why am I having such a hard time processing what I am seeing? Sometimes I am really interested in how people are able to live on so little, sometimes I block it out, but I always feel like I have fountains of tears inside that are bottle up beneath the surface.

I took a walk with Morgan, Rachel, Ryan and Nathan. When I came back I was invited to visit with some Rwandan girls in their room. Everybody thinks my name is Candle. It's funny. They showed me their picture albums of their families and wanted to know why I didn't bring a picture of myself for them. It was really awkward for me because if I commented that somebody was pretty, the girls would ask "prettier than me?". They kept insisting that I had to give them something of mine for them to remember me by. They kept asking me for things. It wasn't fun anymore. I hate feeling like my friendship is conditional on what I am going to give people here. I feel like I can't be friends with people here without them wanting something from me. Then one girl said to me after only ten minutes of talking "Candle, we are friends. I love you. I would like to sleep in your bed tonight". I avoided that one and changed the subject. There is no way that I feel comfortable sharing my bed with anyone I don't know, let alone somebody who sleeps naked. AWKWARD!

I went to choir practice with one girl for a few minutes and then went to eat dinner. When the food came out something smelled like manure, and we were all wondering what smelled so bad. The I got to the pot of meat and realized that the meat was what smelled like poop. I'm not exaggerating, we were all gagging. (Don't worry, we were left alone to eat so we weren't offending anybody. We asked what the meat was and were informed that it was cow tongue and cow intestines. I couldn't do it. All I had was a few sweet potatoes. We were all in a funk after diner and just wanted to go home.

Aryn had coordinated with one of the Rwandan leaders, Joseph, for us to have a little festival with the students to share dances from our culture. We practiced some line dances and learned The Superman dance. A huge crowd came to the dining hall. Joseph got up and gave a speech. He said "I am happy that you have not yet overstayed your welcome. We would like for you to stay at least one or two months more with us." If was funny because our whole group forced a "Hah" sound. We performed our dances, and Rob sang the American national anthem. Then the Rwandan students made our acts look like jokes (which the were because we did the Macarena and the Soulja Boy Superman dance). They did their amazing traditional dances and then invited us to try to do them as well. It was really cool. Then Joseph got up to announce that is was now time for "general dancing". We were excited at first because we thought everyone would join in. Then Joseph announced that we would begin with the American boys choosing female partners from the school's staff, and the Rwandan male staff members picking American female students as partners. Why did it have to be so formal?! So we had to dance with our partner in front of a huge audience to American R&B music. It was very awkward. After the first dance only a few other students joined in. A bunch of guys kept dancing with me and some of them got a little bit fresh so I would leave them and try to dance by myself. I felt really uncomfortable that we were basically dancing for an audience. I left after a few songs to take a bucket bath and go to sleep. Tomorrow we get up at 4:30 am to leave. We are going on a safari on our way back. I can't wait to get to Kigali.

Field Research week- Thursday

2010-03-28T03:31:00.000-07:00

(copied from journal)

Thursday-

Dwight told Aryn last night that now he needs us to finish at least 100 interviews by the end of the week. So in the typical American fashion of doing the bare minimum, we figured out that we would only need to do five today and and five tomorrow to fill our quota. We decided to power through our interviews before lunch and then be done for the day.

Once again, I met some incredibly cute babies today, and I would adopt them all if I could. I wish I could give them all a bath, clean cloths, a pair of shoes and a good meal. Our interviews took us until 12:30 to complete. Tim reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of g-nuts to eat. He didn't realize until he had started chewing that he had also picked up a liquid Advil that had been in his pocket. So his whole mouth went numb. It was funny.

We got back and I took four hour nap. In the afternoons I really just want to be alone and sleeping is a good way to escape how uncomfortable I feel and how hard it was to see the poverty. We had dinner. I feel bad that we get decent food and the students here have the same thing every single day. I felt sick from eating too much. Susan and I visited a room of girls. They were very sweet and asked us a lot of questions about the US. They keep asking when we will pay for them to come to America. My response is always "if you buy your ticket and come to America, you are welcome to stay with me". They had bought a pineapple in town and wanted to share it with us. It was the best tasting pineapple I have had (and we have only been eating starches potatos, beans and rice, so having fruit was awesome). Poor Susan doesn't like pineapple so I tried to eat most of it. It was pretty awkward when the girls told us that our lives have been so much easier than theirs. It is totally true, but how do you respond to that? "I'm sorry" ?

I typed up my interviews and then played cards with my friends. Went to bed early again

Field Research week- Wednesday

2010-03-28T02:19:00.000-07:00

(copied from journal)

Wednesday-

I slept well last night, probably because I was so exhausted from yesterday. The Rwandans got up at 5am again and turned on the lights. Puvii got up and turned them off again, so the students shuffled around in the dark until 6am. On thing that makes me uncomfortable is that the Rwandan girls walk around our dorm all morning naked or half naked. I am a pretty modest person, so I feel really awkward waking up to a bunch of naked girls mopping the floor. The guys in our group don't have a nice new bathroom to use, so they are doing worse than us, because they are very uncomfortable and apparently the guys dorms smell horrible. They said the guys get up at 5am too and dance around to the radio naked. Joy.

At our first interview today, we asked a young girl questions about her family because her parents were out in the field working. Her 50-something year old father came home at the end of it and was very excited to see us. He asked how old I was and didn't believe that I am 20. Then he had Felix tell me that I am his white wife. He shook my hand at the end of the interview but wouldn't let go and led me by the hand to our next interview which was pretty awkward. Then we kept trying to play with my hair and take pictures of me. WEIRD! I was polite, but inside all I could think was "Stay away from me, and go hit on somebody your own age!"

I saw the most adorable children and got to hold a beautiful baby that I didn't want to give back. We did four interviews before lunch and two after lunch. Today went a lot better than yesterday did because we weren't as tired and cranky, but it was still at least emotionally exhausting.

We came back and took naps again. Then we played volley ball with the students here. Our game attracted a big crowd. Everyone laughed at my spastic jump when I try to hit the ball. I can't help being completely uncoordinated! Dr. Dwight, Nathan from FH, and a businessman came to say hi. They are in the area finding a place to build a resort/safari lodge to make jobs for people. In America, we tend to dislike developers that want to plop a bunch of building down on what used to be a nice field, but here it really is a great way to help people get jobs. Here we want development.

We ate dinner and then I went to some of the rooms to talk to the students. The girls were very nice. Then I helped type up our information from today. I took another bucket bath. a bunch of girls came and sat on my bed and asked me to pray for them. then they took my journal and started reading it out loud and writing down the vocabulary words they didn't know.. Thankfully they read from the beginning, when I was still at orientation. There was no sense that my journal might be private. Then they brushed my hair, which was awesome. They can play with my hair as much as they want as far as I am concerned, I love that.

I miss American food. I miss personal space. I am normally very happy to be surrounded by people, but here we just get stared at all the time, and I am so emotionally drained from the day that I want to be left alone. This is like going to a very uncomfortable summer camp.

Field Research week- Tuesday

2010-03-28T01:49:00.000-07:00

(copied from journal)

Tuesday-

I had a horrible nights sleep. We went to bed very early last night, but the Rwandan students stayed up with the light on until at least midnight. The were talking at 2am, and then turned the lights on at 5am and started mopping the floor. All morning until I got up at 6:45 I could hear the mops banging up against the bed frames as they tried to get under our beds. I was really cold and grouchy when I got up.

Breakfast was eggs on chipote, with milk tea (boiled mile with tea and sugar mixed in). We drove about a half hour to pick up our interpretors who stayed in the village for the night. half of our group waited for the others to get dropped off at their site, and for the taxi to come back to get us. We sat around outside a some sector government building (I think). a huge crowd of Rwandans gathered and stared at us. I think they must have Mzungu sensors, because a crowd always gathers wherever we go. I took a picture of a really adorable girl that was playing in the dirt, then some guy came up and told me I needed to pay them for the picture I just took. I apologized, and stopped taking pictures.

We went to three households with Felix to do interviews. The interviews were about five pages long, and had various questions about the households and their health, educations and financial situations. One of us will ask the questions for Felix to translate, while the other two write down observations in a notebook, or play with kids. The families were all very poor. The first interview we did was with a man who was a widower. he was very friendly and joked that he didn't need to keep going for HIV tests.. because (duh), his wife died. Cassie, Tim and I were a good team. all of the families were very nice to us, and the neighbors were curious to see what we were doing, so they would stand nearby and watch. People seemed to laugh a lot when we asked if they went for Family Planning.. most families had about 10 children. The children in the village were excited to see us and wanted to play with us or just look at us. It was hard to see such beautiful kids be so underfed, and clearly suffering from skin infections and other illnesses.

We were all very tired when it was finally lunch time ad we met up with the rest of the group. We at what the school had packed for us - two tree tomatoes, a piece of bread and a hard boiled egg. Not very filling. Everyone was in a terrible mood and wanted to call it quits for the day. We decided that since everyone had completed at least three interviews, it was time to go back, because we were all too tired and grouchy to do any more interviews.

We got back to Matimba and got in bed. We all took about a three hour nap, that was really satisfying. I spent about thirty minutes talking with some Rwandan girls. It was a little bit awkward because of the language barrier, but I was happy that they seemed to want to talk to me. At dinner we met the school's only American teacher. Her name is Susan and she is here with a program called World Teach. She was very sweet. I have so much respect for her, I think she must feel really lonely and isolated out here. Dinner was pretty good. I felt dizzy and sick, probably from dehydration. I typed up the interview I did today on Tim's laptop. Poor Tim had the snacks he had brought with him stolen from his bag while we were gone. He was really upset. I would be mad too if somebody went through my bag and took my stuff, especially food because we are always hungry here. But I guess I can't blame the students for wanting to eat something that wasn't beans, rice or porridge.

Vestine and I too a jerry can to get water and take bucket baths. I love Vestine, she is very funny. She definitely does not enjoy roughing it. My bucket bath was surprisingly satisfying. I used a bowl with about a gallon of water in it to wash my body and my hair. I was very proud of myself for being able to use so little water. The only negative to bucket baths is that it is cold water, so I didn't feel as clean as I would have if it had been warm. The Rwandan girls told me I was sick when I came back into the room. I told them I wasn't and they kept insisting that I was sick. Then one of them said that they saw me taking a pill. I realized that they thought my malaria pill was medicine. I explained that the medicine prevents me from getting malaria. It was nice that they were concerned.

Field Research week- Monday

2010-03-28T00:33:00.000-07:00

There is a lot to write about this past week, so I am going to copy most of it from my journal. Enjoy:

Monday- Today we drove four hours to the Eastern Province of Rwanda. We will be interviewing "at risk" families in the communities that FH supports so that the organization can have a better idea of what their program should be focusing on. We have gotten really spoiled riding our nice big bus to school everyday, so we all groaned when we saw the small taxi that we would be riding in this week. (Picture a van that a little bit bigger than a mini-van, more box shaped, with four rows of seats in the back. It is impossible for anybody to be comfortable because the benches are so close together that only a child's knees wouldn't be squished up against the seat in front of her). These taxis bearably sit three to a row, but we had to fit four to a row. I was lucky and claimed a seat in the front row, which has more leg room. We stopped halfway to wait for the truck that was carrying our luggage to catch up. We got out and went to use somebody's latrine. When we got out, a big crowd gathered to look at us. One girl that was mentally ill came up to us and starting wailing and screaming at us. She grabbed at our belongings and was trying to take our stuff. Our driver kept pushing her back. It was a little bit scary, but also very sad.

We got to Matimba and went through the gate onto the compound for the TTC (teacher's training college). It was like pulling into a summer camp. There were big concrete buildings full of bunk beds, and a few classrooms. All of the students here are between the ages of 17-24. They crowded around to great us and then helped us bring our bags to our rooms. We are staying in a big concrete room full of other female Rwandan students. The girls that have bottom bunks gave them up for us and shared the top bunk this week. They helped us make our beds and folded our sheets in cool designs for us. They were friendly, but very shy, and I think nervous to use their English to talk to us. They kept asking how old I was and ten laughing when I said 20, because apparently I look 16. We went to use their latrine and I almost threw up. It smelled worse than any one I have used yet, and the hole in the ground was crawling with flies. I almost cried because I couldn't imagine using it for a whole week. I can deal with roughing it, but I can't handle having unsanitary and smelling latrines. Luckily we found out later that they had built brand new latrines with porcelain squatty potties (basically a porcelain bowl in the ground to squat over), and they were going to open it for us to use. I almost cried again with relief.

We went to a classroom and, Joseph, the head of discipline, told us all of the rules. We also talked about tomorrow and split into our interviewing groups. I am with Cassie and Tim, and our interpretor's name is Felix Safari. We went to the dining hall for dinner. It is a new compound, so right now the dining hall only has three tables and we were the only ones to eat in it. The students take their food back their dorms. Thankfully their cooks prepared us a different meal than what the students normally eat. We got sodas (I love Citrus Fanta). They made us rice, sweet potatoes, matooke, and some kind of sauce to put over it. It was pretty good. We were very hungry, because they didn't have dinner ready until 8:15. I got in bed at 9:30 and went to bed.

Leave you with a picture

2010-03-27T15:17:00.000-07:00

We got back from our week of field research today. It was a fantastic home coming. This week was long and overwhelming. I honestly don't really want to write about it today, so I thought I would leave you with a picture of just one of the many adorable babies I saw this week. For more pictures, check out my Facebook albums. Check back tomorrow, I will be sure to write before the weekend is over.

Weekend at Lake Kivu

2010-03-21T14:12:00.000-07:00

After a morning of final presentations of Friday, we left for Kibuye. Our group included the Go Ed students, Aryn, Vestine and Pastor Anastase (our professor). The driver said it was a 2.5 hour drive to our guest house, but it ended up being more like 4 hours. We always take the same bus on our field trips. It is a big, white van, with the word "JUST" written across the top of the windshield. It is written in a weird font, and for the first couple days I thought it said "LUST", and that we were riding the "Lust bus"! Our driver has all his music on tapes. The one that we listen to every day on the way to class, or on field trips has about six songs on it. They are hip-hop/R&B songs that were popular in the US last summer. at first it was a lot of fun to hear them because I knew every word and could sing along. One a four hour drive, when the same six songs are played over and over again, you start going a little bit crazy!! The best thing about the drive was the view. There is no way to explain such glorious beauty! We pulled off to the side of the road for a short break and looked over the cliff at the green, rich valley below. Rwandan farmers use the trellis system, so up the mountain walls are shelves of crops. It is really fantastic. There were sheep walking around, and they let me walk up really close to them. I walked down to a small waterfall, and stood among the tall trees that had orange moss growing on them. I felt like I was in a mystical place.

We arrived at our guest house as the sun was starting to set. It looked like a tropical paradise. There were palm trees and tons of beautiful, brightly colors flowers. I shared a bedroom with Susan and Morgan. Simple concrete rooms, with three beds and a small bathroom, but in my mind, they were very comfortable. We went down to the restaurant that overlooks Lake Kivu and had a buffet dinner that was pretty good. It's too bad we don't have good Fanta in the USA - made with real sugar and packaged in nice glass bottles.

Susan, Shelby, Emily, Tim, Janae, Nathan, Ryan and I gathered in Shelby and Emily's room to play games. I jokingly suggested that we play "Murder in the Dark", but everyone else liked the idea. We covered the window with a blanket and turned out the lights. One person was the murderer (we passed out cards that either made you a murderer or a towns person), we walked around in the dark and eventually the murderer would pretend to cut somebody's throat in the dark, and that person would fall to the ground. Then when we found the "body", the light would go on and we would try to figure out who the murderer was and then vote. We would keep going until we figured out who it was. It was scary but really really fun. We played for almost two hours... Then we went and laid out on the ground to look at the stars. I have never seen such bright and beautiful stars. We talked for a while. I (once again) jokingly made the suggestion that we go around and say something nice about everyone in the group, but I guess we all wanted a self esteem boost, so we did. Then I went back to the room with Susan, talked and then went to bed.

On Saturday we had an excellent breakfast. The water at lake Kivu looks like it is bright aqua from above, but the water is clear and you can see the bottom when you get close to it. There were islands out in the middle, and I felt like I was in some sort of dream-scape, it was so beautiful. We got in a long boat that looked like an over-sized canoe with a motor at the back. It was about a thirty minute ride to one of the islands. I spent the ride hanging over the edge of the boat to touch the water, it was so nice! We hiked to the top of the mountain. Our guides ran up and scared all the bats out of the trees and a big cloud of thousands of bats rose up. It was an amazing sight to see. I didn't really enjoy the hike. It was up a sttep rocky cliff and my legs got all shaky just trying not to slip and fall off the cliff. The top was pretty. Going down was a nightmare for me. The rocks kept slipping and I was the last one to finally get down to ground level again. We swam in the clear water for a while until the rain storm got closer and we had to go back for lunch. after lunch I went with Emily, Janae, Nathan, Vestine and Aryn to the resort next door that had a sandy beach. I swam and then fell asleep in the sun. Then we got some chocolate ice cream. It was a heavenly afternoon.

We came back for a 7pm dinner.. but it wasn't ready until 8:30. That is my biggest complaint about Africa.. the service for meals is always very slow. I think their tourist industry should do a little more to have meals ready on Western time schedules. I may sound insensitive or a little bit bratty saying this... but I can't go from 12 -8:30 without eating, and I don't understnd why we had to wait so long. I was feeling really sick and faint by the time our buffet was finally set up. We played Murder in the Dark again. Vestine came over to see what we were doing, and we felt really bad telling her we were playing Murder in the Dark.. seemed a little too insensitive to tell that to a Rwandan who lost loved ones in the genocide. So we tried to make it into tag in the dark, but we kept slipping up.. Went to bed around 11:30 after trying to kill all the mosquitos that were buzzing outside my mosquito net.

Sunday we got up and went to church. We got to introduce ourselves and they wanted to hear all of our names in case they had the same ones. If somebody knew someone with one of our names, they would come up and hug us. Nobody had ever met someone named Kendall or "Candle", haha. We got up and saing Sanctuary, Amazing Grace and Big House. The service was pretty long, but good. The sermon was about suffering, and the pastor tried to connect it to us by talking about Sept. 11th. After the service we played with a few kids outside and then packed up and drove home. On the drive back we pulled to the side of the road for our driver to buy something. A mother brought her baby up to my window and we shook and I held both of their hands for a few minutes until we had to leave. This drive was even more pretty, because I was awake for more of it. It was nice to get back to our house in Kigali.

Now we are on our way to the Eatern Privince for a week of field research. We will interview poor families for Food for the Hungry's program. We are staying at a local college and will have squatty potties and bucket baths for the week. Be back Saturday night!

2010-03-18T16:55:00.001-07:00

This morning we thought we would be able to see the TIG camp so we all go ready to go, but Pastor Anastase was denied again (even though last night they had approved us). Oh well. First thing I did when I heard the news was get back in bed.

I worked on and off all day on my presentation for tomorrow. Dwight's class was good. We talked about next weeks field visits to conduct a study on Rwandan families. At dinner, Aryn told us that we are going to be living in dormitories with students close to our age. Squatty potties and bucket baths all week! Haha. We had a lot of laughs demonstrating our perfect squatty potty stance, and with a few people claiming that they were just going to hold it all week. I doubt that is a possible or healthy solution, but that's not my concern, I'm ready!

I spent the night finishing my part of the presentation. It's now 2am. I am waiting for my notes to print on our old, slow printer. Why does it print the pages in order going backwards? That means I have to reorganize every page! haha. I don't know if I am ready for the presentation.. We will see.

Tomorrow we give our presentations and then come back for lunch. Then we leave for Lake Kibuye for a weekend of relaxation and fun. I think they figured that our time here has been serious and difficult, so we need a break. I agree. I hope i feel okay, right now I have a sore tight throat and am very very tired. Talk to you all on Sunday!

Happy St. Patty's!

2010-03-17T12:37:00.001-07:00

I wore green today in honor of my Irish friends.. We spent the morning waiting to hear from Pastor Anastase if we would be going on a field trip.

We had been hoping to visit a TIG camp today. These are camps where convicted genocide criminals live and carry out their community service. Rwanda did away with the death penalty.. so many of those convicted spend their time rebuilding and cleaning the country. I think it is a great system. We wanted to get a tour and possibly talk to some of the inmates about their experiences. Pastor Anastase wrote the TIG administration letters and gave copies of our passports to try to get us access to the camps. They denied him the first time because they had a group come and then write critical newspaper atricles attacking the camps, so they are reluctant to let Westerners in. Pastor kept trying. He called us after breakfast to say that he was at the office just up the street and that we should come up and wait with him, so that our presence might speed along the process. We sat in the hallway outside the office for a while, but nobody would see us so we gave up.

Pastor Anastase took us to the PHARP office that was nearby. We got to meet a group of young women who were learning to sew on ancient Singer sewing machines (the ones with the foot pedals - makes sense since electricity is not dependable). The girls sung us a song about being welcome. The clapped and a few of them danced for us. It was great! No better way to feel welcome than to have your hosts sing to you and then invite you to dance with them! We sat in a circle and had our class lesson. Pastor told us about the riches of the Congo. He said that there are people who live in rural villages that have piles of gold, but they don't know how to get them to the world market, so they are worthless to them. Very interesting.

We came back to the house for lunch (which I like a lot better than eating at the office). Then we had Dwight Jackson's class. As usual, it was very interesting. We talked about what we will be doing next week in the village we are visiting. We will be collecting field research for FH about the Rwandan families there that are considered "at risk" . More on that after I actually go!

Susan, Shelby and I watched The Lovely Bones. It was hard to watch. I am very easily disturbed by movies that pose real scenarios - such as the kidnapping and murder or a child. We ate dinner and then I had a very interesting conversation with Morgan, Ryan and Janae about our experiences here and how our expectations were and were not met so far.

I am learning so many things about myself. Here is a revelation about my personality that I just put into words. I am a very emotional person (I know.. nothing new there..bare with me). I am like a chameleon with emotions. I take on the emotions that others are carrying. I have the ability to feel intense joy as well as sadness. When others are hurting, it is almost as if I am sharing their pain, because I feel it too. I also have a hard time controlling my emotions, and they very often overwhelm me. In this sense I think I am a lot like a child. I may be mature, and intelligent, but I have a little child inside me that needs to be held and cared for. Being in Rwanda takes its toll on me. I am surrounded by incredible amounts of pain, and it hurts me as well! That is why, after class, I just want to lay in bed and watch a movie or sleep. The emotions of this trip are exhausting. I am quick to get teary eyed when kindness is shown to me or I get a hug. I miss hugs. Can't wait to get lots of them when I come home.

(Not sure why I felt the need to share that, but it's on my mind..)

Guest Speaker - Pastor Antione Rutayisire

2010-03-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

This morning our bus was "bumpin' ". The bus drivers (I don't know why they need three) blasted American hip-hop on the way to class. It was awesome. I get so excited when I can sing the words to songs. When "Fire Burning" played I thought about camp and the weekly dances. It was a great way to wake up before class.

We had our best guest speaker so far- Pastor Antoine. He came to talk to us about the role of the Church in the Rwandan genocide. He was incredibly interesting and entertaining. he offended a few people, but I thought he was wonderful. Here is a list of things he said that I thought were notable:

The Church's main problem was that it lacked consistency. It preached love, yet supported regimes that discriminated against people. It wouldn't risk speaking out against injustice.
The Church as an institution failed, not God.
Not all leaders or members of the Church do good. The Church is made up of sinners. "We all must have our Peters and our Judas' "
God is not a policeman, he is a judge. God is love. Real love is only achieved though free will. God gave us free will so that we could actually love him, if we choose to. It would not be free will if he came in and stopped us from making the wrong decisions. And if he did stop us every time we did the wrong thing, we probably wouldn't love Him very much.
We should not blame God when people misuse their freedoms
Rick Warren came up with a PEACE plan - Plant churches, Equip servant leaders, Assist poor, Care for sick, & Educate younger generation. (PEACE)
Westerners ask him why the Rwandan Church let genocide happen. Pastor Antione points out that we are in the middle of our own genocide. Our government and churches stand by and let thousands of innocent and defenseless babies get murdered each day because they are deemed a nuisance. Isn't that what Hitler did to the mentally handicapped and lame people that became a nuisance to the Aryan race?
$1 a day would feed, educate and cloth a Rwandan child
President Clinton came to Rwanda to give a pitiful 2million dollars to help widows and orphans. When he came he stayed at the airport because Rwanda didn't have nice enough accommodations for him. Wow. That made me embarrassed to hear.
There are families where the children take turns getting meals because there isn't enough food, and just a few neighborhoods away, a rich expatriate keeps his five dogs well fed.

What Pastor Antione said really struck a chord for me. So much injustice!!

After lunch we had a guest speaker from FH talking to us about the CDC child sponsorship program.

Tonight our Owning Poverty session was about grief. We talked about how Americans, for the most part, don't know how to grieve, or help each other grieve. Why are we so quick to dismiss each others' pain? Why do we tell each other "Don't cry", "Don't worry", "Everything is going to be fine", "You'll be over this in no time"?? People need to grieve and cry!! We need to support each other in our sadness. Instead of talking about our own issues, or trying to give advice, or dismissing their feelings, we need to be a loving, listening and supportive presence.

Afterwards a few of us prayed together for each other. I burst into tears just wanting to go home and see my family and be there when my brother arrives from Haiti.

Worked on our group project a bit..

Rainy Days and Mondays...are better than burning hot Mondays

2010-03-15T13:21:00.000-07:00

Today was really hot. It made me want some New England winter weather to cool off. Can't I ever be satisfied? Don't answer that.

Class was at the office. We were hurried out the door at 8:40 to meet our bus. We got to the classroom at five till nine and stood around grumbling to ourselves about how it is stupid to leave so early when our professor doesn't come until 9;15 and the door is never unlocked for us to go inside. Our first class crawled by. Three hours is entirely too long. I'll never complain about my hour and fifteen minute classes ever again. Lunch was sandwiches again.

Context for Development was great. Dwight is an amazing guy. We talked about his theories about development. You can give a man a fish, but as we all know, that will only feed him for a day. However, giving him that fish is appropriate in situations where there is no access to resources or opportunity to get them. Teaching a man to fish is only as good as his access to a stocked body of water. The best way to achieve development is to get business donors to sponsor the purchase of fish to stock a community pond, and then teach them to fish. This is only successful if the community does not have restrictions on who is allowed to fish..

I mentioned that I am a business major while asking a question. Professor Dwight said something like "well I am looking to hire a business manager for such-and -such a project...". I know he wasn't offering me a job, but I freaked out a little bit inside. I am two years away from getting a real job. Will I be able to do it? If Dwight hired me, would I be at all qualified or confident enough in my abilities to do it? I think I would, but for some reason the statement stopped me in my tracks and I don't think I have ever felt so acutely how much I still have to learn.

We came home and its was unbearably hot so we crawled in bed and napped through the afternoon heat. I woke up before dinner when Emanuelie's wife came with the bags I had paid her to make for me. One is a purse, the other is an overnight bag that looks like an African version of a Vera Bradley bag. The difference being that mine is a million times cooler because it was made in Africa, for $20 instead of $200, and I am supporting Emanuelie and his wife. Now I have more bags to carry things in!

After dinner we got out the cards and started playing (a nightly ritual in our house). I just learned Dutch Blitz, and I LOVE it. Cards have become our main source of entertainment and bonding. We get really heated over card games.. and I am sorry to say that cards (and crossing the street) are the reason I have started swearing. I'm sorry!! I swear I will clean up my language when I come home!!

Cassie and Ryan made the most wonderful brownies ever tonight. We have started a brownie fund for raising money to buy the chocolate. Rwanda is pretty expensive. Get me back to Uganda where I can buy gelato for 50cents!!

A Lazy Sunday

2010-03-14T13:15:00.000-07:00

I was bad this morning and slept in instead of going to church. I got out of bed at 11 and lazed around the house trying to write a reflection paper for tomorrow and start research on my presentation for Issues of Peace-building.

Sara Groves and her team came to the house around 2 to pick up all of their luggage that they left here yesterday. There were 15 of them, and they all wanted showers. Unfortunately Ida had just taken all of our towels to wash so all we could find was three big towels and an assortment of hand towels. We visited with them while they repacked their bags. Everyone on her team was very friendly and sweet. They were down to earth, lovely people.

I was sad to see them head off to the airport. It was fun having a packed house (even more packed than the 16 of us that already live together). It made me homesick to see them heading back to the USA and talking about what they were going to do when they got home. I wish I could go home just for a weekend. I'm not going to lie, I can't help missing my loved ones! The good news is that home will still be there in two months when I am finished here. And I love Africa, so much.

Bedtime Story

2010-03-13T16:08:00.000-08:00

Here is a short story I wrote for my friend tonight. I thought I would share it because I think it turned out pretty good, and surprisingly, it isn't a fairy tale about a princess!

Once upon a time, there was a little toy space ship. It belonged to a boy who loved to play with it an imagine it was real. That little boy grew up and gave it to his son, who gave it to his son.. and on and on until it got to a father who only had a daughter. Though the tradition was to pass the space ship toy to the sons, he decided that his daughter should get to play with it. This little girl had a very good imagination, and was also very clever. She loved the toy spaceship and played with it just as much as any boy had ever played with it. One day she lost a tooth, but instead of putting it under her pillow, she put the spaceship there instead with a note that said "Dear Tooth Fairy, since I have been very good this year, and brushed my teeth twice a day, please make this spaceship real for me. ps, I'll love you forever if you do!!". That night she had an amazing dream that seemed so real. She was the captain on her very own life sized space ship. She spent the night flying around and having wonderful adventures. When she woke up, the little girl found a note written in cute fairy font that said "Our imaginations are better than the real thing, so I made you an imaginary space ship that you can visit every night in your dreams". and from that night on, the little girl could play on a real spaceship any night she wanted. If only all those little boys that came before her had been so clever!
The end.

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. (or the Scabies.. that's what's going around over here ;) )

Guests for Lunch - Sara Groves !

2010-03-13T10:11:00.000-08:00

I love Saturdays.

I slept in and laid in bed until 11 watching Star Trek for the second time. I LOVE that movie. I'm going to have to start watching the old episodes of it.

We started getting ready for our lunch guests around 11:15. Sara Groves and her band came for lunch at our house! All of the FH workers from the area came to meet them as well. We had a packed house. With Sara was her six year old son, Toby. He was the cutest little boy, and very outgoing. We played cards with him and he read Dr. Seuss' "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish". Everyone was very friendly. Sara seems like a very normal and down to earth lady. I wish I had had more of a chance to talk with her, but she was busy talking to the FH workers. It was really fun playing with her son.

I completely made a fool of myself when I was talking to Sara Groves' guitar player. Here is how the conversation went:
"Great job playing last night!"
"Thank you"
"So, I hear you also play for Michael W. Smith"
"Yes, I do sometimes"
"Oh my gosh... that is amazing"
"Yeah"
"So... what's he like?"
"ummmm he's a good guy"
" I KNEW it!!"
...

Wow. What is wrong with me??

After they left we went back to our room and I finished Star Trek and then took a wonderful nap. There's nothing like a wonderful afternoon nap. Then we walked up to Star Cafe for dinner. This time we were pleasantly surprised that we only waited 45 minutes for our food to come and not one and a half hours like last time. Our food was good. We went to the grocery store and paid $2 for some ice cream in little cups that was so gross. I miss Ciao-Ciaos!! Get us some real ice cream up in here!!! That is the first place I am going to when we get back to Kampala.

We came home and watched The Blind Side. I love that movie. Now we are relaxing before bed.

Fridays and Sara Groves Concerts!

2010-03-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

Last night I couldn't sleep. My mind would not stop. I was so excited about having a brother that I could think of nothing else. This morning I could not go to class. I have had too many sleepless nights this week and I just couldn't do it. I told Aryn to be my mom for a second and tell me what to do because I really do feel guilty when I decide to skip class on my own. I feel better when somebody tells me to. Aryn said I should sleep because I have been so tired lately. So I willingly got back in bed. I went with Ida and Emanuelie to bring lunch to everyone at the office, and then I stayed for our second class. The mayor of a nearby district came to speak to us about Rwanda's goals to be reached by 2020. It was interesting.

After class we came back and ate an early dinner. Our bus came to pick us up for the Sara Groves concert! We were a big group of students, directors, Vestine's friends that were our assistants around Kigali a few weekends ago, and our cooks, housekeepers and guards. Ida is just about the funniest lady ever. She was so excited to come out with us. She was in the back of the bus dancing with Puvii and Brittany and laughing. I can't really describe her, but she just makes me laugh so much! The concert was really great. Sara Groves was amazing. You can tell she is a sweet lady, and her music is great. We are excited because she and her band are all coming over for lunch tomorrow! SO cool.

We came home and I talked to dad and then mom. Now I am going to try to go to bed. Wish me luck!

I have a brother!

2010-03-11T07:28:00.000-08:00

I just found out the most amazing news! I got an email from my mom...

Argusto is coming home! The Haitian prime minister approved him to leave the country. We will expedite ship his passport this week and he will get to come home as soon as possible after that! So basically we are looking at my brother coming home next week!

I am so amazed and happy! I am realizing how much I didn't believe it would really happen. But it is! God is so good! Dad met argusto when he was 12. He turns 18 in two days. What a great birthday present for him! I wish I could be there when he gets off the plane so bad!

I can't believe it! I have a BROTHER!!

Gacaca Courts visit

2010-03-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

Today we went to watch a trial in the Gacaca Courts. The Gacaca courts are traditional community courts that were formed because the national courts could not handle the thousands of cases that needed to be tried. Without creating community courts, it would have taken more than 100 years to try every person who was involved in the genocide. Each community elects a number of trustworthy, fair and honorable judges that will hear each case and give a punishment.

We all crowded into the private taxi at 9am to leave. Fortunately, it broke down at our gate and the called a bigger bus to take us. We drove for two hours up into the mountains. The absolute best part of any bus ride we go on is seeing children. I love it when their faces light up at seeing white people and they run after us yelling "Mzungu! Mzungu!". I know I sound riddiculous, but I am truthful enough to admit that it's a self esteem boost to be a celebrity everywhere we go. I'll be sad when I go back to the States and peoples faces don't light up when I walk down the street. Haha. I spent a good hours with my head out the window waving at all the kids who were jumping up and down with huge smiles on their faces.

We got to the court room at about 11:30. They found the key to unlock the padlock to the squatty potty for us. I don't know why, but Vestine is always surprised by how often we use the toilet. Then we sat down in the small court room facing the table with five women judges. There were three men on trial. Two of them were wearing the pick outfit of someone who had been in jail. I think it is funny that they are forced to wear pink. The trials seemed to take forever. Pastor Anastase would translate what was going on and we would pass it down the line, telephone style. The person on trial would speak, and then any witnesses from the community would stand up and give their own input. It was very strange being in the same room with three men who were murderers. These men openly admitted to chasing down children and killing them, raping women, killing in churches...etc. Looking at them you would never think they were capable of such acts. But then, most of the perpetrators in the genocide were just average people.

We sat on those benches for four hours in the heat. I am embarrassed to say that I fell asleep, and I was sitting in the front row. I really couldn't help it. It was so hot and I didn't sleep well last night. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I do feel bad that the whole room was watching me nod off. (Though honestly, they were probably a lot more concerned with the trial, not me).

Our bus ride home was great because the driver blasted really fun music. He laughed at us singing along to the Backstreet Boys. :D We got home way later than expected. I was sad that we missed Dwight's class. It was 4:30 when we got to the gate. We mobbed the kitchen until Ida agreed to heat up the lunch we had missed. Chipote and beans with pili-pili hot sauce is my favorite lunch!

On a separate note - Ever since I got to Africa I have noticed my hair thinning out. I lose a lot of hair just by brushing it. I am wondering if it is my diet or something else? Any ideas?

Adventure to buy fabric

2010-03-09T10:42:00.000-08:00

After the genocide memorials I spent some time resting, but then four of us decided to get out of our sad mood by going shopping for fabric.

Cassie, Linda, Susan and I walked up the road to find a taxi into town. While I waited for Linda to get money at the back I sat outside on the curb. Some guy sitting in the back of the car started hissing at me and then when I looked over he winked at me. Weird.. When we got to the bus stop and said we wanted to go to "mumuji" (town), all the taxi drivers' assistants started fighting over us. I got pulled in towards one taxi but then my friends were entering another so I had to say no to the guy that claimed me to come with his taxi. We got on and rode to town. Five minutes before we got there, the assistant told everyone to pay 180RF for the ride. Everyone saw us pay, but the assistant started giving Susan a hard time and asking for more money. When we got off the taxi he followed us and started yelling at us in Kinyarwandan. We kept telling him that we already paid and he knew we paid. A big crowd gathered and everyone was being loud so we got intimidated and paid again. We were so mad.

Fuming, we walked down the street and found some fabric shops. Most of the patterns were kind of weird but I found two that I loved. I hope that I will be able to make some nice things from them. We all got a little grumpy so we decided to go home. Back at the house we told Vestine and Grace (our director who is visiting for the week) about being ripped off on the bus. They both felt bad and said that next time we should get the number of the bus so that we can humiliate them by writing it in the newspaper. Good thinking!

After dinner we had a long Owning Poverty. Everyone reflected on what we have been experiencing here. It was good.

Love each other

2010-03-09T02:37:00.000-08:00

Today we visited two more genocide memorials. Each site has been more horrifying than the last.

This first site was a small church. Tutsis gathered there, seeking refuge from the Hutus who were pursuing them. 5,000 people were murdered in and around the church buildings. As we walked into the main church, I involuntarily wrapped my arms around myself, as if I could hold myself together. On the back walls were shelves of skulls and bones. Hanging in the rafters and on the walls were the clothes of everyone who had died here. The bodies had been left to rot, but when there were only bones left, the bones were collected and buried or set on display, and the clothing was left for us to see. The walls had big holes that were from grenades. I found myself trying to picture a room packed with screaming people, as parents, siblings and friends were slaughtered. Only ten people survived, they hid under the bodies of the dead until the attackers thought the job was finished. Behind the main church was a Sunday school classroom that still had a big blood stain on the wall. The small building next to it was filled with debris. Only the bones had been removed after the people had been burnt to death. Making my way around the room I kept spotting little things like a piece of a mattress, a shoe polishing brush. I wonder about the lives of each person killed. I wonder who they would be today.

We drove a few minutes to another church. This one was a lot bigger. It was brand new when the genocide happened. The lady to spoke to us outside about what we would see was one of the ten survivors from the other site. I can't imagine reliving it every day. We walked in to see rows of pews piled high with clothing. For a while the bodies had been left of the floor and visitors had to walk on the pews to get around the church, but they had decided to collect the bones and bury them, and just leave the clothing for us to see. At this site, 10,000 people were killed. The walls were stained where babies were repeatedly smashed against the walls until they died. The cloth covering the altar was stained with blood from the pregnant mothers that were killed on it. There were steps down to a burial chamber for one woman who was raped and then impaled with a stick that was shoved from her private parts up through her mouth. She was buried in memory of all the women who we killed in such a way. There was a hole in the wall where a man hid his head for three days so that he would look like one of the dead. We sat down and reflected on what we were seeing until we were ushered to the back.

Behind the church we saw the concrete covers of the mass graves. There was a grave for an Italian missionary who had lived nearby. She had tried to get the world to notice what was happening by speaking on the radio and writing letters, but the Rwandan found out and killed her. There were stairs leading into the tombs so we went down to check them out. The first one was filled with caskets stacked up over our heads and just a little path for walking. I went down into the second tomb and it was like walking into a nightmare. I went cold with shock and fear. As I descended and turned to the right, I walked down a pathway lined with shelves of skulls and bones. I've seen skulls on the discovery channel or in school, but there is no comparison to being in a dark tomb surrounded by the crushed and burnt skulls of thousands of innocent people who were brutally murdered. People who would still be alive today, if it wasn't for hatred and discrimination. Once again, we were all quiet on the ride home. I was really surprised at myself for not crying. Tears were just beneath the surface, but for some reason they wouldn't come out. I think the reason I wasn't able to cry today was because (as Susan pointed out), I have never experienced this kind of emotion before. I was sad, but I was also absolutely horrified, confused and not wanting to believe that it really happened. I think crying would help me feel better, so I hope that once I have processed all of this I will be able to.

I think it is important for people to visit memorials like these, even if they are so disturbing. It was such a good reminder to love one another. Don't let differences divide neighbors from each other. Genocides like these don't just happen, their roots are deep. It always starts somewhere. Let's all do a better job of appreciating each other, and celebrating differences. Let's practice love, so that this kind of tragedy doesn't happen again.

Practicum Placement

2010-03-08T13:13:00.001-08:00

I forgot to write about my practicum placement! I found out Sunday where I will be for the month of April.

I will be stationed in Kitgum with Cassie, Tim and Ryan. Kitgum is up in Northern Uganda, at the very top of the country. My job title is Livelihood Assistant. I will be working with women who are trying to make it without their husbands, and helping them find ways to support themselves. These women are widows, rape victims, or have left their husbands. Unfortunately, the society they live in is one where the man owns everything. These women need to find ways of making an income to support their families, and I have the privileged of getting to work with them (and hopefully some of my business knowledge will help me out).

We will be living in a compound with the same women I will be working with, and their children. There will be real toilets, electricity, and internet (when it works). I am happy with my placement. I am getting sad about having to leave all my other friends.

Only one wife!

2010-03-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

Okay it has been a few days since my last post. I have been feeling a bit lethargic and not inspired to write, so I am forcing myself right now. It feels like so much happened this weekend.

Sunday -
Ryan, Linda, Nathan and I walked to Christian Life Assemblies. This is the church we visited last Sunday, home of the cell group (Bible study) that we went to Wednesday. When we walked in it was clear that it wasn't a normal Sunday service. The pews were labeled based on neighborhood in Kigali. We sat down in the Remera neighborhood, and sat with the other people from the small group. We all sung some worship songs, and then we split off into groups to meet our neighbors and get people to want to join a cell group.

Here's where I explain the blog's title. There is a joke in Rwanda that we hear almost every day. Apparently it is quite funny. Whenever somebody introduces themselves they say a variation of the following:
"Hello my name is ________. I have 4 kids and ..(awkward pause)... only one wife! hahaha".
Our guest speakers in class, our professors, even the people speaking to us in church yesterday said it! I guess it is the funniest joke ever.. it always brings a good laugh to the Rwandans present.

After church we had our night guard, Emanuelie, take us into town with his taxi service. We went to the Hospital to help out with Project Smile, which does operations on cleft lips. Unfortunately, we got there when they had finished for the day and didn't need our help. We said we would try to come back Thursday. So we went home.

We set up the projector in our bedroom and watched The Proposal on one of our walls. There were subtitles at the bottom that were very funny. It looked like someone had translated to Chinese and then back to English.

Today:

We went to class at the FH office. Our guest speaker in the morning was from the community courts system and told us all about the justice for perpetrators of the genocide. It is very hard to stay awake. African men seem to be very soft spoken, and their voices are very soothing. Our second class is a lot easier to be awake in. Dr. Dwight talked to us about research methods for when we go out into the fields in two weeks to do a week long data collection. We will be researching the Rwandan family. Should be awesome.

We came home and vegged all day. I have been way too tired lately. Not sure why.

Saturday in Gitarama

2010-03-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

Today we got up early and a group of us took a private taxi to Gitarama, the second largest city in Rwanda. It was up in the mountains. We went to the FH office there and met some nice FH workers there and heard about their projects. One of them was called the Azizi Project, which helps women start atisan groups that sell their crafts to FH, which sell them in other countries. We got to look in their store and buy some crafts for ourselves. I bought some cool things but I am really worried about being able to fit them in my bag on the way home.

Next we drove to see the FH water treatment plant. Nathan, who is 24, is managing the plant and all its employees. I think it is so cool to think that someone so young is managing something so important! The plant was pretty cool, but I was more excited about the children who came to see us. They were absolutely adorable. At first they were very shy, but then I said "hello" and "how are you" in Kinyarwandan and showed them the picture I took on my camera and they were a lot more social.

We took the FH staff out to lunch in town. To make it easy, with faster service, we all ordered the general plate of traditional African food. My meal and strawberry juice cost me 1,500FR which is $3USD. Not bad! We got in the van and were home by early afternoon.

I watched a weird movie called The Maiden Heist with Kate and Aryn, and then talked to the family on Skype. I bought more Skype credit, because after almost two months of calling home a couple times a week, I finally used up my $10. Not bad! After dinner we all gathered in the living room to watch The Office with the projector. I LOVE that show. So I am really glad Emily is willing to buy it on iTunes for us to watch. Then I played Rook and listened to music with Shelby, Janae, Susan, Tim and Ryan. It was a lot of fun. And now it is time for bed...I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

"Lord you are good...

2010-03-05T12:24:00.000-08:00

...and your mercies endureth forever" (that's the song going through my head right now)

God has been so good to me today.

We had classes at the house today. The first was very emotional, as we listened to our guest speaker recount his experiences of the genocide. It was so hard to hear him talk about his family being murdered, and almost more difficult to listen to his story of reconciliation and forgiving the people that killed them. (I will write a different post about that later when I have processed it more). In our second class we had a sort of debrief about everything so far. After class I watched a movie with Susan, Janae and Cassie. Then I called my aunt Amy's house to talk to my family. The whole family is in Colorado for my Opa's funeral today. When mom got on the phone I burst into tears. I wanted to be there with everyone so badly. It seems so wrong to miss the funeral of a grandparent. I also haven't seen the whole family together since Oma's funeral which was seven or more years ago. When I got off the phone I was sad and stressed about wanting to be home and feeling like Africa is unpredictable and what if I never see my family again? Sad and morbid thoughts, but there has been a lot of talk about death today with the guest speaker and the funeral.

The rest of the group had already gone out to eat. Cassie and I walked fifteen minutes down the road to join them at the restaurant. As soon as we sat down with everyone else and ordered drinks I knew something was wrong. My right eye started seeing colorful zig-zags and then my vision went blurry. I knew I was getting a migraine. Normally when I get migraines I could be in excruciating pain and stuck in bed for a day or two. We had ordered our food and Cassie offered that we could take it to go and get me back to the house. I was doing really bad. Getting nauseous and not able to open my eyes. Finally I told Cassie I couldn't wait any longer (it had been 45 min) so we left without eating and walked back. Cassie was really sweet and made up a story for me as we walked. I was a little nervous about how it was just two of us rich white mzungus walking down the street in the dark.

We made it back okay and I ran to the bathroom to throw up. Then Ida found me and said she could hear that I was sick and she made me some rice and yogurt to eat. I prayed to God that I knew he could take this head ache away if He wanted to so I really hoped he would. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up I felt fine! I have NEVER had a two hour migraine. It should have lasted all night and tomorrow but it's gone! God is so good!

Genocide Museum

2010-03-04T04:54:00.000-08:00

How do you begin to talk about the tragedy that was the Rwandan Genocide? I have so many thoughts and questions in my head that I need to process, so this may not be very organized.

This morning we took a bus ride to one of the Rwandan genocide memorials in Kigali (there are many around the country, and more than one in this city). We were first shown the mass graves which are outside in a very pretty courtyard with flowers. The mass graves are big holes filled with hundreds of caskets. Each casket has around five bodies in it. They are covered with concrete slabs. Families that find the remains of a loved one can bring the bones to be buried here and give information to be collected by the researchers that work here.

Inside we walked through corridors and read about the history of the genocide. There was a mix of pictures and videos that had captions in Kinyarwandan, French and English. There was a room of bones and skulls on display. Another room had a collection of clothing, and a video of people talking about watching their families get killed. We saw long lines of photos of people who had died. All wonderful, valuable people, who were not given a chance to live long happy lives. Upstairs there was an exhibit dedicated to the children who were murdered. There was also an exhibit dedicated to every other genocide that has taken place in the world.

The hardest part of visiting the genocide museum in Kigali was the exhibit dedicated to the children killed. How does it happen that people who have their own children and brothers and sisters can see children and feel they have a right to brutally rape, torture and murder them? I was really emotionally affected by looking at the pictures of the children and reading their short biographies, especially their last words before they died. This is such a waste of human life. All of those beautiful children had futures and dreams that were cut short. It made me sick to think a human could do this to the young members of a society.

I think it was great that the museum had an exhibit for the other genocides that have happened around the world. It was chilling to see how many times throughout history one group has tried to eradicate the world of another. Race, age, and country have no affect on the ability of humans to do evil things to each other. It made me sick to see how the international community responded to the various genocides. Nobody wants to get their hands dirty, and nobody wants to admit guilt. There is nothing that should be able to justify not getting involved in stopping such atrocities. I was thankful to see that there are still good, loving people in the world. There was a wall dedicated to the stories of the people who risked their own lives to shelter Tutsis. These people set amazing examples of what it means to be part of them human community.
We were all completely silent on our bus ride home. Everyone was a little bit in shock and trying to process what we had seen. It is absolutely amazing to me that after such horrible acts of murder, the country has been able to forgive. The Rwandan government has been working to create unity. Rwandans are no longer allowed to identify themselves and Hutu or Tutsi. Everyone is Rwandan. Though the genocide will continue to haunt those that lived through it, it has only been 15 years and from the way it looks, people have forgiven each other enough to live peacefully together. I don't know how they do it. I keep asking myself if I would be able to forgive people that murdered my family and friends. I have no answer.

We got home and everyone needed space. We had to sit through our next class, when really, we should have been given time for personal reflection. On our ten minute break during class I laid down on my bed and and fell into a teary sleep. I really did not want to go back to class, I needed space and time to think, but I had to. after class I made myself some tea and listened to nice music while I did my homework and wrote this.

Cell group Bible study

2010-03-03T13:42:00.000-08:00

My last blog ended with me heading for the cell group Bible study. (A "cell" consists of a few or many households in one area)

When Ryan and I left I was in a bad mood. I still hadn't shaken off my funk from earlier, and we were missing dinner. It was also raining and getting dark so slipped and dodged muddy puddles on our walk up the hill. Fiona was delayed by traffic and so we waited in the sogginess for a while. When she came we started walking down the road to the home of the cell group leader. We were let inside the gate of a compound that had a very nice building. The building was sectioned off into apartments so we walked up to the sliding door of the correct apartment.

We were let in to a simple, but very nice and spotless living room/ dining room. The house belonged to an Indian couple that go to CLA (the church we visited). They moved here 10 years ago, and both husband and wife are professors in Kigali. They were incredibly welcoming and sweet. We waited about an hour for more people to show up, but only one other Rwandan came, her name was Anita. Everyone else didn't come because it was raining. It seems that Africans really don't enjoy getting wet. The six of us talked for a long time. It was a lot of fun. We snacked on spicy puffed rice that was delicious. Hilde, the wife, is a nutritionist, so we talked a lot about food and eating habits. I mentioned that I was missing milk and so she jumped up and boiled me a glass of fresh milk. It was delicious! People here are the ultimate hosts, going completely out of their way to serve their guests.

We started the Bible study at least an hour and a half after we got there. They passed out sheets of music and we sang some praise songs together. American, Indian, and Rwandan voices raised together to worship God. It was great. Then we all gave testimonies of how God has been working in our lives. We also talked about the sermon given on Sunday and how we were being good stewards in our lives. Hilde was a very good listener. When she prayed for all of us she has such wonderful and insightful things to say about everyone in the group. I had a great time, and I plan on going back while I am here.

Anita drove us to our road, but it was too muddy and pot-hole-y for her to drive us the rest of the way, so Ryan and I walked. I was in a significantly better mood when I got back to the house. I ate some leftovers and played cards with people. I talked to Mom and then Dad, which was great. I am wishing them the very best as they travel to Colorado tomorrow for Opa's funeral.

On an exciting note, my brother Argusto, who is being adopted from Haiti, might be able to finally come home soon. We are trying not to get our hopes up, but Argusto had an appointment with the US Embassy to do one final review of his documents. If everything goes well, he could be approved to come to the US this week! We are praying that this is the case. March 13th is his 18th birthday. It would be amazing if he could be home for that. Say a prayer for us!

Tea Time and Classes

2010-03-03T05:40:00.000-08:00

Last night we had our Owning Poverty session. We talked about prosperity gospel. Our assignment was to read an article written by a Rwandan about how the prosperity gospel could benefit Rwanda, and then respond. Then entire group expressed very passionate disapproval of prosperity gospel, and we were united in our distaste of the journalist who wrote the article. Prosperity gospel is believing that if you are a good Christian you will be blessed with prosperity. There are communities that believe that they are rich because they are good Christians and God shows them His favor by rewarding them. They form an exclusive congregation/club that requires a certain level of income to be a member. The writer of the article thinks prosperity gospel would be good for Rwanda because if people were left out of church groups because they didn't have enough money to be a member, they would be motivated to work harder and lift themselves out of poverty. This disgusts me. Any Christian who believes that God favors some over others and proves it by making his most faithful followers prosperous is missing the point of what Jesus tells us. Are they forgetting that the Bible clearly states that Christians will go through hardships and suffer in His name? What about "pick up your cross and follow me" in Matthew 16:24, or Jesus telling the rich man to throw away his worldly possessions to follow Him? If our wealth is supposed to be our gold star or badge of approval for being good followers of Christ, then surely God wouldn't have us give it away. We spent a good amount of time venting our frustration about this idea. Even if some of the principles of prosperity gospel could be used to motivate people to get out of poverty, the real and long term impacts of believing this about God could not bring anything but harm.

This morning I got up at seven as usual so that I could get ready quickly and have a relaxing breakfast. I had cinnamon and sugar toast, and corn flakes on yummy yogurt. I really have been missing my dairy products. I asked Vestine about why we don't get more milk the other day. She said that Africans think that white people don't like milk, so they haven't been buying it for us because they think we wont drink it. Interesting.. I had a wonderful cup of Rwandan black tea with milk and sugar before class. I am a little bit annoyed with myself for drinking so much black tea while I am here. I have always said that I wont become reliant on caffeine to wake me up, so normally I stay away from caffeinated drinks like coffee and black tea. I honestly can't help it here. there is nothing more satisfying than sitting on the front porch with a warm cup of tea and getting ready to start the day. We walked up to the bus stop (our first day doing it by ourselves), and caught our ride to Minagri (Ministry of Agriculture), and walked to class. Our first class was good. We have really been learning a lot about rwandan culture. Here are some interesting things I learned about Rwanda:
1. Rwanda is one of the most densely populated countries in Africa, though it is about the same size as Maryland, USA
2. Rwanda is working hard to promote gender equality. It is a law that women must represent at least 30% of public jobs, but the real number is about 49%! There are women mayors, members of parliament, prime ministers and the president of the Supreme Court is female. One difficulty that arises from this is domestic violence that occurs when powerful women have husbands that suffer from an inferiority complex.
3. More than 60% of the population lives on less than $1 a day. Imagine that? You spend more than that at Dunkin Donuts each morning.
4. One of Rwanda's values is secret keeping. This is an issue when it comes to witnesses in court, because people will not tell each others secrets.
5. Among African countries there is diplomacy, but not necessarily trust (which is the case around the world). The operate under the mindset that there is "no permanent friend or enemy in politics".

Our first class is three hours long. Three hours is a long time to sit when you are tired. Vestine was an absolute angel today and arraigned for tea and coffee to be brought to us for a break in the middle of class. I don't know how I would have stayed awake, even in an interesting class, without my tea. I drank two more mugs of it during class! When I get back to the States I will have to join the ranks of the other people who are addicted to caffeine! Not cool! Oh well, I will embrace it for now, as tea is part of the culture here. And it's just so good!

After a wonderful lunch, Professor Jackson came to teach us about the context for development. This is a fantastic class. I am really interested in what he has to tell us about the mistakes made by Western groups who want to use Western procedures and beliefs to create development in completely different societies from their own. For this class I will have to write a paper about Rwanda in 2025.. I definitely need to learn a lot more about development before I can make any judgments. Dwight said something funny in class today. He said something like "I have lived in this country for more than 20 years, and right now I know less about Africa than I did when I first got here. If you want to talk to "experts" about Africa who think they have the place figured out, talk to people who come on two week mission trips. Because the longer you stay, the more you realize that there is so much more to the culture than you'll ever understand". So true.

After class we planned to go to check out the crafts made by some women just outside of Kigali. Walking to the bus stop we had a big group argument about chivalry, and girls getting special treatment like having the toilet seat put down, or the door held for them. My stance is that whether or not men and women are equal, a man is a million times more appealing when he respects women and shows love and care to them by holding a door or putting the toilet seat down. It is good manners, and shows unselfishness. I don't understand women that get offended when a guy holds the door for them. Both genders should find ways to make the other feel special and valued. It is completely unattractive to me when a guy asks "why should I treat you any differently?" Sure it is a legitimate question, but I'll stick to my chivalrous men, thank you very much. For some reason the conversation really irritated me. I decided that since I was in a bad mood I would rather go back to the house and have some alone time to work on my frame of mind.

I am getting ready to go to a small group Bible study to meet some more Rwandans :)

I've caught the bug..

2010-03-02T03:52:00.000-08:00

The Africa bug!! How could I avoid being contaminated with a passion for this continent!?

I am on a ten minute break between the first and second half of my Context for Development class and I can't contain how excited I am to be learning this. How could I not be completely fascinated with this country and its history. How could I not be completely caught up in a desire to learn about community development. There are so many new thoughts and questions in my head right now, it is overwhelming!!

Just had to tell somebody!!

...More later..

Our second, first day of school

2010-03-01T07:05:00.000-08:00

I am currently wrapped up in a blanket on my bed, listening to "Wild Child" by Enya, and eating a delicious peanut butter cookie that Cassie and Ryan just made. I feel completely relaxed and at home. Hard to believe a month and a half ago I felt uncomfortable and homesick. This is my new life and I am loving it. :D ... Now for the reason you came, my daily blog. enjoy:

It was our second first day of school. I was really enjoying not having classes or stressing about homework. I got up at 7:15, showered, and then was ready to eat at 7:40. We started walking towards the bus stop (ten minutes up the road). Vestine surprised us by meeting us on our road with a bus she had hired to take us on our first morning. We drove to class which is at the Food for the Hungry office in Kigali. Our classroom is in a warehouse looking room that is filled with chairs. Our professor, Pastor Anastase {?}, arrived. I was the first to shake his hand, and was sure to touch my lower arm near my elbow while we shook as a sign that I respect him. He went over our class schedule. The class is Issues of Peace-building. We are going to be going to a lot of genocide museums and other field trips. I am especially excited because he is going to get us access to attend a trial for participants in the genocide. The government set thousands of genocide participants free from jail, to be tried by their neighbors in their village community courts. We will get to watch them tried by their neighbors who witnessed their actions. Should be really interesting. We will also have many guest speakers. My group is doing our class project on the response of NGOs before, during and after the genocide. I can't wait to get into the course material.

Our professor finished class two hours early so we hit the streets to explore. I started getting really hungry - never a good thing for me. We were standing on the sidewalk talking when some nice men walked up and asked if we needed help finding our way. We asked where the nearest market could be found and then walked back to find a snack. Then Vestine caught up with us and said our morning class was moved to the house so we could go home. We went home and had lunch and hung around until our next class.

Our Social Context for Development teacher is the country director for Rwanda. His name is Dwight Jackson, and he is from the US. I am really excited for his class. He has first had experience with NGOs, so I know we will learn a lot. He told us "don't let anything become the 'final truth' for you when learning the history of Rwanda". Everyone will have a different perspective that has elements of truth, but nothing should be taken as the final truth in our heads. He cautioned us not to state our opinions about the ways things are done in Rwanda, but to frame everything as a question. We can still make a point, but framing it as a question will be less rude. We really shouldn't make judgments anyways, since we don't know anything about life in Rwanda yet. This class looks like it is also going to be really cool.

After class I relaxed and talked to some friends online. It was nice. the weather here is perfect. Today was sunny but it was breezy which cooled everything off very nicely, like a summer night. I did some laundry and hung it out to dry. We spent a few hours watching season 5 of The Office before dinner. Dinner was a masterpiece. Ida, our cook, started preparing it yesterday. We had chicken curry, but with a twist. First the rice and the curry go on your plate, then you load it with diced banana, mango, pineapple, raisins, nuts, tomatoes, onions and shaved coconut. Aryn described it as making "Mt. Kilimanjaro" on your plate. They tastes were delicious.

One thing I love about Africa is the way people relate physically to each other. I love the way we shake hands; really gripping the others hand and putting meaning into the eye contact. Another example was today with Ida. I asked her if she thought it would rain because my clothes were outside drying. She grabbed my hand and walked me outside to the clothes line. Then she explained to me how i hadn't put clothes pin on my clothes so they kept blowing off the line. Even as she was semi-scolding me, she was holding my hand. I think this is just a really loving culture.

Alright, that's enough about today. Time for some rest

Church in Kigali

2010-02-28T06:16:00.000-08:00

Blogging is not an exact science. I find myself going through the day thinking about what I will write on my blog or in my journal at night. But i often forget cool things that happen to me and then remember them later after I have published the blog. Here is something I remembered from yesterday that I wanted to share:

As we were walking back to our compound and turning up our driveway to unlock the gate, we heard a child yelling. We looked around and saw a young boy and his little sister running towards us with open arms yelling "Mzungu, Mzungu, Mzungu!!" I kneeled down and opened my arms, and the little boy jumped into my arms. I hugged him for a little while and then put him back down. It was one of those awesome moments that makes you feel really good inside. Being hugged so tightly by a stranger. The boys mother laughed and told our assistant that her son just really loves white people. Regardless, I really needed that hug!

This morning I got up at 8am and started getting ready for church. We had pancakes for breakfast, which I loaded with peanut butter, bananas and honey. It was a yummy combination. I went to church with Fiona's group. The church was called Christian Life Assemblies, which is the name of the church I go to at college in PA. It actually reminded me a lot of my church. We sung some worship songs in English and the message was also in English. It was a bit on the long side, but this is Africa, not the US. After the service we were taking to a welcome center for visitors. They were very kind to us and are going to try to find us a home cell Bible study group to meet with on Wednesday nights. This is exciting because I really want to make some Rwandan friends. We walked with some of Fiona's friends to the bus stop. They were incredibly friendly and I had a nice talk with a guy named Mark. I'm not gonna lie, Rwandan men are very attractive and charming. :) We went back to Chez Lando (our neighborhood), and found a cafe to eat at.

One thing that is hard for me to get used to is the African time.. I was very hungry when we sat down, and really needed to eat right away before I got faint and sick. It took 30min for someone to take our order, and then an hour until we got it. I had to run to the supermarket to get a snack because I was so hungry. Fiona's sister, Angel, was with us. She is 19 and came home from the university for the weekend. She was very nice and spunky, and I enjoyed talking with her. Everyone is very friendly to us. I love how warm and welcoming Africans are.

Sara Groves, a Christian singer, is coming to Rwanda to give a concert in Kigali. She actually does a lot of work with Food for the Hungry (the NGO I am studying with). She has been to Rwanda before and here is a music video and song inspired by her time here. It moved me to tears when I watched it, probably because it is about the same things I have been experiencing. Check it out:

Back at the house I relaxed for a little bit and then went with some friends to another church in the evening. This church we walked to. It was an Evangelical church I think, and we went to the 5:30 English service. The service started with an hour of worship songs. Everyone was clapping and dancing, it was a lot of fun. The message was given by one of the senior pastors from Rick Warren's Saddleback church! He is in Rwanda visiting and we were blessed with the opportunity to hear him speak. I spaced out a lot of what he said because a lightening storm and rain started outside and I was thinking of having to walk back. When the service was over we went out into the rain and headed for home.

I was really angry because a few of our group, including both guys, ran ahead and left three of us girls behind. It is only our second night here, and it is not safe for white girls to walk around at night. That is so not cool. I miss guys being chivalrous and caring if I got home safely. If guys walk me back to my dorm room at Messiah, they definitely should in Rwanda.. Okay, I'm done venting that. Dinner was really good. We had chocolate cake for dessert that was excellent.

I called home for an update on Opa. My Opa died this morning. He had been struggling with poor health for a long time, so it was expected, but that doesn't make it much easier. I am glad that I got to go see him over Christmas break. I am really sad that I am across the world and can't be there for the funeral to say goodbye. It doesn't feel real right now. all I know is that Otto Scheid was an incredible man, who loved to give a piece of his heart to everyone he met. He did some incredible things, and I will miss him dearly. Now he is with Jesus, no doubt asking where the ladies are so he can give them a piece of candy and recite a poem for them. What a man..

First Day in Kigali, Rwanda

2010-02-27T10:03:00.000-08:00

I had planned on sleeping until 10, at least, but I woke up at 8am instead. I slept very well last night. I was pleased to find out that somebody else had already gone outside to hook up the water pump so that we could have water pressure. I took a fantastic shower (in a real tub!), and finally felt clean.

At breakfast we had bagels which was something to celebrate! I love bagels. And delicious Celestial Seasoning tea from the US. After breakfast we had an orientation to Rwanda talk with Aryn. We went over the rules again, and learned some things about how this month will go. I think it will be a stressful month with so many things to do, but a good one. We put our money in the safe and changed the sim cards in our phones. Lunch was quesadillas and pica de gaillo. It was an amazing meal. Sure that sounds so simple but having quesadillas was so comforting! It was like being home. This morning is the last Saturday of the month, which is a day of mandatory community service for Rwandans. Every family must send at least one person to report for cleaning duty. Everything was shut down for the morning.

Vestine (the Rwandan version of Faith) came with our Rwandan assistants for the day : Henry, Fiona and Issac. They took us out to Kigali and showed us the transportation system. It was very strange being in a place that actually follows traffic laws. We couldn't just stand on the side of the road and flag down a taxi, we had to walk to the designated areas, and use cross walks. There were traffic lights and the streets were very clean! I kept trying to compare Kigali to Kampala.. but I had to stop.

Kigali was very nice and was a lot more like the US than I expected. People also didn't stare as much at us as they did in Uganda. Our first stop was a really cool coffee shop. I ordered a drink that i was told was not coffee.. but it definitely was. So I drank my first full coffee today. Let's just say it woke me up... We went to the super market and the mall and looked around. The prices were at least twice that of those in Uganda. Even if it is still cheaper than the US, we were all making comments about how crazy expensive everything was, and how we would wait to buy stuff when we go back to Uganda. The taxis were a lot nicer and more comfortable here, but still packed. It is also stressful that people don't speak English. We will be taking Kirawandan lessons starting next week.

We went to a health club that is near our house to check out the pool there. Next door there was a wedding reception. We went over to watch the traditional dancers from the window, but we were invited inside and given seats near the front. The dancing was really cool. It was slow and graceful; much different than the Ugandan booty shaking :) We came back for an excellent dinner of rice, beef sauce, white sweet potatoes, and coleslaw. Our cook here is just as good as the one in Uganda.

I have to say that part of me really misses Uganda. That had become home for me, and because I am going back in a month, I don't feel as connected to Rwanda. I know it is too soon to judge. I really do love Rwanda so far. It is a beautiful country with beautiful people. Now i am off to play a board game with some friends. Tomorrow I will visit a church called Christian Life Assemblies (CLA), which is the name of the church I go to in the US!! Can't wait.

Road to Rwanda

2010-02-26T09:05:00.000-08:00

Today was crazy. I can't believe we made it to the other end of it.

I left off yesterday saying that we stayed up with Emily who was very very sick. At 5am, most of us were up because of the commotion of having someone sick, and someone else hurt their ankle, and everyone rushing in and out. We decided that everyone should just get up so that we could leave as soon as possible. All we had were two lanterns and some flashlights to pack everything up because the electricity was still out. We were tired and stressed, but there was an energy going through the group that we needed to get to Rwanda as fast as possible and all in one piece.

We told Kate and Aryn about Emily and then went to work packing up the bus. I crawled in through the window to unlock it because the driver wasn't awake yet. We had the bus packed and ready to go at 6am and then, when everyone was ready to go, helped Emily into her seat. It was a long and crazy bus ride. Poor Emily was sick the whole time, so we stopped often for her. We drove for two hours and then hit a road that was impassable because of the rain and erosion. So we had to back track and start all over again. Everyone was surprisingly very upbeat and cheerful, and I really appreciated that.

We stopped for a buffet lunch in Kabale before continuing on to the Rwandan border. at the border we went through customs to leave, crossed the road, and then went through immigration to enter Rwanda. Emily was such a trooper having to walk through everything and fill out forms. Driving through Rwanda was amazing. It is so incredibly beautiful. I thought it looked like pictures I have seen of Ireland with the rolling green hills. They also build terrace gardens up the sides of the mountains. Rwanda is very different from Uganda. At customs our bags were searched so that they could make sure we weren't bringing plastic bags into the country. Rwanda has a ban on plastic bags because they are trying to keep their country clean.

Compared to Kampala, Kigali is immaculate. Everything looks very clean and organized. And, OH MY GOODNESS, they have traffic laws! and they drive on the right side of the road! and people use cross walks! Can I get back in the habit of following rules? We dropped Emily and Kate off at the hospital. Emily will be there over night to get re-hydrated. I am so glad we got her to the hospital, I was worried the whole trip. Our guest house is really cool. It is on a hill and there is a separate house for the boys and girls. The porch overlooks the city. Emily, Shelby, Susan and I have our own room in our own little section of the house. It's smaller and different from Kampala, but very comfortable and nice. I was excited that the internet worked well enough for me to Skype-call my parents. It was fun telling them about safari, but they had bad news for me from home. Opa isn't doing well and he will likely pass away this weekend. I wish I could be there to go to the funeral when that happens. We had dinner and now we are relaxing. Now for phase two of my semester - RWANDA!

Safari - Thursday

2010-02-26T07:33:00.000-08:00

Linda woke us up at 5:30am and we got to the bus at 5:45. Nobody was there to open it so we let Nathan climb through the window and open the door so that we could get good window seats. Just like our seats in class, its important to get a good spot on the bus. We all were on the bus at 6 and we had to wait for our driver to get there, then we had to wait for our tour guide to be ready as well. It was pitch dark when we started driving, but the sky started brightening. We were all pretty sleepy, but I did my best to stay awake, realizing that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We drove into the park and saw a few animals, but it was too dark to really see anything or take pictures. The best part of the drive was when we pulled up to a cluster of other safari buses and looked through the binoculars at a lion and her cubs. I was really frustrated because my camera is old and doesn't take the clearest pictures. It also couldn't zoom in enough or me to keep looking at the lions. It was really cool looking through the binoculars and seeing real lions. As with all the animals we saw on this trip I felt like I wanted to pet and cuddle with them. We also stopped at a salt lake that was really beautiful. We all went behind a bush to take a "short call" (pee). How cool is it that I can say I risked becoming prey by going to the bathroom while on safari? We headed back to the lodge for breakfast.

After breakfast we all went back to bed and slept until lunch. After lunch we relaxed even more and finished writing Haikus for Owning Poverty. I went Haiku crazy! I could barely take a nap because I was counting out syllables on my fingers. Here are the haikus I wrote:

Ugandans walk slow
The day goes by at snails pace
And I enjoy it

Generosity
Guests welcomed like long lost kin
And treated like kings

Mzungus are rich
They can afford any price
And yet, they haggle

Bodas driving fast
Narrowly escaping death
I gasp as they pass

American time
Should be left at the airport
This is Africa

Do not wake me up
For I was up half the night
Procrastinating

At Owning Poverty we all circled up and then talked about our schedule tomorrow. Then we split into our groups and talked about a cultural interaction that we found highlights the differences between Ugandan and American cultures. My group chose the interaction that takes place when a Ugandan man hits on an American woman. It is awkward for us women because we feel like they are crossing a line of personal space that borders what we consider sexual harassment. These discomforts have deep roots. American women value freedom, personal space, and respect. We have a deep rooted distrust of men, and know that love cannot happen over one conversation. We also are easily offended when we feel that we are labeled as "easy" or "rich" right off the bat. In Uganda, we are already on edge because we are out of our comfort zone, not to mention that we learn from an early age not to talk to strangers. We all shared our Haikus and discussed the issue of building relationship with the people we meet here. Kate and Aryn explained that friendships here are different than in the US. In the US, there is a power relationship going on in friendships. When one needs to ask for help from the other, they feel uncomfortable until they can repay the implied debt. We feel uncomfortable asking for help because it changes the dynamics of the friendship until things are equal again. Here, the friendship isn't concrete until one has a chance to help the other. Debts aren't repaid until there is a need. I might borrow some food now, and a year down the road give my friend money to pay for a medical bill. I am a little bit uncomfortable with this because I don't like feeling indebted to others, but I find it very interesting all the same.

We ate dinner and then started watching The Lion King. That movie takes on all new meaning when you have seen the animals in their natural habitats. we set up the laptop on our porch and watched it while we saw flashes of lightening on the horizon. It was awesome to be watching the Lion King while on a real safari. Then it started to really storm around us, and the laptop died, so we all went our separate ways. I went to the dining hall to charge my laptop a little and write up my blogs in Notepad to later be transferred online. Now it is 11:15 and I am trying to figure out how I will wake up tomorrow without a phone or watch that work. Even with everyone in the same room, it might be hard to find someone else will to wake me up. We are all, (to be punny,) ready to throw each other "under the bus" to get a good seat for the ride tomorrow. Its going to be a long day. I can't wait for it to be this time tomorrow with the 15hr bus ride out of the way. ..

Later:

So I went to bed for a little while but couldn't sleep. I went to go find my friend Shelby and found her in the dining hall talking with some other people from our group. As a side note, our group has been somewhat divided into two groups of friends. The realities of doing everything together created a sort of divide among us. I have been feeling really uncomfortable about it because that is not what I wanted or excepted to happen on this trip. The last few days have been a little bit tense. However tonight I had a good talk with a few people that I had felt awkward around and we moved past it. We apologized and decided to move on and start anew in Rwanda. I felt so much better after that. I really hate conflict and feeling like there are people that I don't get along with. I think our group will be able to start becoming a unit again if we can all move past the last month together.

I was up really late talking and then figured I might as well pull an all nighter to make it easier to sleep on the bus tomorrow. It was pitch dark because it had started raining and the power had gone out, so it was hard to find the room. Poor Brittany fell off the porch and twisted her ankle. Then we found out that poor Emily was really really sick throwing up in the bathroom. We stayed up the rest of the night with her.

Safari - Wednesday

2010-02-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

We got to sleep until our 9am breakfast. I got almost 11 hours of sleep last night. That is more than I got in the last two night combined! Breakfast was wonderful. Our first course was assorted fruits, then we got a plate with toast and Spanish omelets. I am growing to love African tea, with raw sugar crystals and milk. after breakfast we showered and hung out. We played this awesome dice game called "Farkle" with about 10 people. It was really cool getting to know Aryn more, and nice that she wanted to play a game with us. For lunch I got "spaghetti", which was noodles with a meat sauce.. It was pretty good, but not what I was expecting.

Aryn told a really cute story that I wanted to share. Here's a little background so that you can appreciate what she told us. There is a tribe in Africa called the Massai. They actually believe that every single cow in the world was given to their tribe and therefore belongs to them (which is why they often steal cattle from their neighbors). In the newspaper Aryn read that after the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001, the Massai saw a newspaper about the tragedy and heard about how many people died. They wanted to do something to help the families and so they raised the money to sent a heard of their cattle to the United States! How cool and amazing is that! Its a story of the generosity of the people here.

At 2pm we all got on our bus and drove to our boat ride. On the way we saw elephants! I was so excited!! We also saw a salt lake where animals go to bathe when they get hurt to clean the wound. The lake was in the valley next to the mountains. Picture the "Circle of Life" opening to The Lion King and you will understand how incredible the views were. We got to Lake Edward (clearly named by British colonizers) and loaded into boats with balcony roofs. We boated around the Lake for two hours. We saw tons of hippopotamuses, water buffalo, alligators, ELEPHANTS and birds. It was really really cool. We also boated past a village with Ugandans waving at us from the shore and then getting into their long canoes and paddling off into the picturesque sunset.

One very cool thing that I learned today was about the "Weaver Bird". These birds mate for life. The male bird skillfully crafts a nest that hangs from the trees. When he is finished the female inspects it. If she doesn't like it, the guy has to build another one again from scratch. Once the female is satisfied, the two mate. These birds mate for life and remain in the same 1km around their nest. If one dies, the other does not find a new mate. I think that this species of bird is incredibly sweet, and human men might like follow their example. ;)

After the water tour, we got on the bus and drove to Queen Elizabeth park. We got our Ugandan tour guide, Moses, and headed out down the dirt road. We talked about how we might not see any lions, but we would all keep a look out for them. Within ten minutes, we pulled up beside THREE lions laying in the grass! They were maybe thirty feet away from us. We were absolutely amazed and took a lot of pictures. Everyone got really excited, and I felt so blessed to be able to behold a real lion in its natural habitat! We eventually kept driving and then stopped to take pictures of cobs (look like gazelles) grazing and mating. We also saw wildebeest, water buffalo, and warthogs. The mountains next to us were huge. They are the tallest in Uganda. It took my breath away to see the Savannah turn into towering mountains. On our drive back to the resort we saw a herd of elephants and took more pictures.

I can actually say that today was the most amazing day of my life. I saw some of the coolest animals in the world. Ten minutes didn't go by without me seeing something new and amazing. I wanted so badly to be sharing the experience with my friends and family at home. Completely and utterly breathtaking. I had that worship song stuck in my head that goes "You make everything glorious", because God did!

Back at the resort we had a delicious dinner of pepper steak, rice, gravy and chipotte. I couldn't stop gushing to everyone about how much fun i had, and they agreed. It definitely goes on a list of the coolest things I will ever do in my life.

Now it is 10 and we are in bed. We have to be on the bus at 6am for a morning safari to watch the sunrise!

Safari - Tuesday

2010-02-26T07:28:00.000-08:00

I was up till 3:30am trying to get all of my stuff to fit into my bags. Fun stuff. Then I woke up at 6:45 to finish the job and get ready to leave. We ate a quick breakfast and loaded everything into the back of our bus. We did our last look around our rooms to see if we left anything behind, and I feel bad for whoever ends up cleaning up the house. I am sorry to say that none of us became as neat as the Ugandans are during our stay. We hugged Grace and Howa goodbye, said a group prayer, and loaded the bus.

Emily, Shelby, Susan and I sat near the front of the bus. We were all super squished with all of the bags packed around us. We were told that the ride would be about seven hours. I hoped to sleep the whole ride, but it was very difficult to find a comfortable position. I wish someone had taken a picture of me in all positions I tried to sleep in. I think the most successful one was putting my head on my knees. The best part of the ride was the snacks we packed. We brought fruit, carrots, banana bread, sandwiches, cookies and best of all, JUICE BOXES! My mango juice box had been frozen, so it was a heavenly slushie to help me cool off. We went through phases of being awake, being half asleep and sleeping.

The first stop we made was at the EQUATOR! I think this is officially the farthest south I have ever been! We spent some time taking pictures with the Equator signs. there was a bus of Koreans on the same road with us and they got out to take pictures as well. It was funny because one of them asked to take a picture with Puvii. I think he thought that because she was black, she was Ugandan. We continued driving and then got caught in a traffic stand-still because of an accident. we climbed out the windows of the van and stood beside it to stretch our legs. We were next to a field and so we used it to go to the bathroom. The grass was very tall and thick, so I was really nervous about seeing a snake. As I walked to find a good place, one of the Korean ladies decided to come with me. She had an umbrella so I thought she was going to help me by blocking me while I did my business. Instead she kinda just stood next to me with her umbrella, hopefully distracting everyone else.

As we drove, the landscape started to change. There were more mountains and hills, and everything seemed even more green and beautiful than before. We stopped on the side of a cliff to "take a short call" (pee). We all walked into the field and did our business. It is so strange not having privacy for that kind of thing. We heard these children yelling to each other. All of a sudden a group of kids ran out of the field towards us, excited to see white people. I shook hands with them and took their picture so I could show it to them. The only thing they could say to us was "money", so they kept asking us for it. The view was absolutely stunning. I have never been in a more magical place in my life. We were overlooking a valley with a lake at the bottom, and fields of banana plants. Even my pictures couldn't do it justice. All I could do was take it all in and commit it to memory. We kept driving and the landscape changed again. It became plains of tall yellow and green grasses under a beautiful bright blue sky. This is the Africa I had always pictured. We even saw some Elephants in the distance, but not close enough to take pictures. At one point we asked the driver how much longer because it had been eight hours and we though for sure that we were almost there. He said "another two hours", we all groaned. But honestly it was not a bad drive at all. I was so overwhelmed by how beautiful everything was that it flew by. I really want to come back. I could live here and take in these views every day. all I could think was how completely lucky I am to be in this moment, right now.

After ten hours of driving we pulled into the gate of the park. all of the students are in one big room with the boys on one side and the girl on the other. There are real bathrooms, though by real I mean that there are actual toilets, but they aren't completely enclosed. We went to the dining hall and ordered our food. Almost immediately the power went out. We sat on couches with lanterns and talked for the two hours we waited for our food to be ready. I have vegetable curry and rice that was yummy. At 10pm we were in bed. I have come to love mosquito nets because they make me feel protected from critters that might want to crawl on me. I slept wonderfully through the night.

Farewell Uganda!

2010-02-22T13:26:00.000-08:00

Went to bed around 3:30am.. I am on such a horrible sleeping schedule.

I got up at 9 and wrote the paper that was today. Then I continued preparation for our presentations. It poured rain all morning and afternoon, and it was actually cold in the house. The upstairs was converted into a home theater, with all the couches facing a blank wall for the presentations to be projected on. Our teachers came for lunch with some other special guests. Dr. Susan brought her friend who is a nun, and also head of the Literature dept. at Mekerere University in Kampala. She had created a documentary about circumcision to show us. We had lunch and then headed upstairs.

Our presentations went well. I think my group did a great job. Poor Emily was up all night editing the footage for the movie we made. It turned out pretty cool. Then we watched the long documentary on tribal circumcisions and discussed it.

When our presentations were over, we all breathed a sigh of relief and spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing. We had chicken-fried steak for dinner (my southern friends found it interesting that the first time I had chicken-fried steak was in Uganda). I was a little bit disappointed when we didn't have pumpkin cake for dessert on our last night, but the lemon bars were yummy.

I did my best to start packing but then we decided to go get ice cream at Ciao-ciaos for the last time. As we walked over, we saw the "Italian boys" again. Susan yelled to the cute, tall one that it was our last night. He came over to talk to us but he couldn't speak english so he called his friend over to talk to interpret. We found out that they are actually from Turkey. they are also students, studying at a local college. Not sure how we mixed Italian and Turkish up, but I guess I am no judge of accents. They asked if we were high schoolers. Jeez! I get that everywhere I go! Do I really look that young? I am twenty now. haha. We said goodbye to them. It is too bad that we didn't talk to them earlier, we saw them almost every day but never had the courage to say hi. For some reason it seems like other Mzungus are harder to approach than the Ugandans.

Ice Cream was good. I finally got the sample of kiwi gelatto that i had been meaning to try. I got a scoop of chocolate and a scoop of hazelnut. My favorite. It is sad that we wont have our 50cent ice cream every day in Rwanda. What am I going to do without my desserts?

We came back and packed some more. I wish Mom was here to pack it nicely for me so that everything would fit. Right now I have to leave things here because I can't get them in my bag. I will pick them up when we come back for practicum. I have been skyping and using my computer, so I haven't really focused on packing, even though all of my roommates are in bed. I listened to a wonderful interview of my friend Keziah who lives in Haiti, who we met at the orphanage down there.
http://www.magic1067.com/on-demand/Episodes.aspx check it out, it is really inspiring. I teared up a little. There was another aftershock, so I am praying for their safety. But now I need to go to bed.

This week's schedule:
Tomorrow- breakfast at 7:30, leave at 9am. Drive 7 hours to Queen Elizabeth game park
Wed & Thurs- Safari adventures!!
Friday- a very very long drive to Rwanda

Love you all so very much. Thanks for reading! Pray for our safety and that we will see some cool animals!

Don't show your knees!

2010-02-21T23:43:00.000-08:00

It's funny what a month in Uganda will do for your sense of modesty..

I went downstairs this morning to ask Kate a question, still wearing my pajama shorts and t-shirt. I didn't expect to see anyone but Americans, otherwise I would have changed. When I walked down the stairs there was a Ugandan man in the hallway. He took a look at me and my uncovered legs and very obviously looked the other way. It was incredibly embarrassing. In the US, I would never feel strange being seen in shorts, but this morning I felt like I had a big sign above my head flashing "Unchaste! Unchaste!". I ran upstairs hoping that my bad first impression wouldn't linger.

Turning Twenty- My Birthday in Uganda!

2010-02-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to me!! Today is my twentieth birthday. How many people get to say that they turned twenty in Africa?

I had a hard time sleeping last night so I went to the kitchen and washed the dishes that had accumulated after dinner. Then I laid in bed for a while and watched the "happy birthday" comments accumulate on my Facebook page. Lame...but I couldn't sleep.

I got up at 8:45 for church. Patrick (our driver and dear friend from the rural visit), picked us up at 10:30. Initially it was just going to be Morgan, Ryan and I, but our group grew to nine! We were driven down the road to Faith's mom's church. Momma (Faith's mother), had started this church for Congolese and Rwandese refugees in the area. The building was made out of sheets of tin nailed to wooden posts. The kids had their own section of little plastic chairs, and they were adorable. I'm not sure why, but we were separated into pairs and given seats that were dispersed around the church. The children sang and danced for us, then the adult choir sang. The entire congregation got up and danced together; one big congo line. I held two children on my lap during the service. The pastor spoke in Swahili, but another man interpreted into English, sentence by sentence. I also had Momma next to me given a better translation. I think the message was about spiritual warfare... It was a lot of excitement and yelling. Momma told me that the people at her village were very disappointed when we didn't come again the following weekend. I hope we get a chance to visit again. Two hours into the service Momma asked me if we were ready to leave. She said the service could go all day. I made the executive decision that we should go. Outside, Momma hugged everyone and told us all how welcome we are to her home. She is an incredible woman.

Patrick dropped us off at Garden City. My friends took Nathan and I out to Cafe Javas. Nathan's birthday is tomorrow so it was a nice little double celebration. I had a delicious BBQ Burger and a Mirinda Pineapple. The air conditioning was heavenly. I found us a private hire taxi (seems to be my new talent). We fit eight people into the Subaru. Three people sat in the open trunk. It was really fun. Ended up costing about 50cents each. Money well spent. I can't believe that we have been in Uganda for five weeks. Last time we were at Cafe Java it was the our first week here and we didn't know what to expect. Now we are about to pack up and go to Rwanda.

We came back and worked on our Oral Literature Presentation. We decided to make a movie of our collection of Oral Literature. Included is us acting out one of the stories. I got to be the leopard in it. It was fun dressing up and making whiskers and ears. Then Linda and Brittany made us a wonderful dinner of breaded chicken and salad with honey mustard sauce. The girls made me a Funfetti Cake and everyone sang to me!!! I was so excited! I have been craving funfetti lately.. My new friends are so amazing! I love them.

Now we are stressing and frantically working to get everything done for tomorrow. Wish us luck!

Last Saturday in Kampala

2010-02-20T11:11:00.000-08:00

The rain was incredible last night. I was up all night listening to it. When it rains, it pours; hard and loud. I got up around 10am and relaxed with my friends. We weren't able to visit the street boys today. We looked through the options for practicum, but I really don't know what to do so I didn't choose my top three yet.

We went to Bejing Chinese for lunch. Halfway through eating I noticed that that chicken wasn't cooked all the way. What the heck! I seem to have bad luck with chicken in this country. I called over the waiter. This was the exchange:
"I think this chicken is not cooked"
"Yes this is chicken"
"I know this is chicken, but it is not cooked"
"Yes. The chicken was cooked"
"Okay" (as he walks away)

We went to Ciao-Ciao's for ice cream. I paid them for the one I accidentally forgot to pay for the other day. Now I don't have to feel guilty anymore. :D

I watched The Time Traveler's Wife, which was good, but sad. I laid in my bed weeping over a movie...pathetic. Then I tried really hard to talk with mom on Skype, but the internet was really weak today so I couldn't. I was really frustrated because all I wanted was to talk to someone from home. I think if I could have any wish for my birthday it would be to have a day with my family and friends in the US. It's time's like right now that I really feel the half a world between me and home.

Dinner was chicken curry. SO GOOD. Then Emily and I washed the dishes. My roommates are also my group for our Oral Literature presentation, so we talked about what we are going to do for it.. But there wasn't much that we could do tonight, so we were soon distracted.

Cassie had downloaded the Princess and the Frog (the new Disney movie). It was really really good. I loved it. Susan, Emily and Shelby ran out and midnight to give me hugs and say Happy Birthday! It was really nice to be surrounded by new, amazing friends on my birthday.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM TWENTY!! So long, teenage years!

Taking an American Moment of Laziness

2010-02-19T07:54:00.000-08:00

Stayed up till 2:30 am again doing homework. Luckily there was no morning class so I slept in until 10 and hung out until lunch. Since it was our last day of class and it was scorching hot, we decided to take a matatu up the hill. It was completely and utterly satisfying to get to class not drenched in sweat. We discussed our last book and were done at 3:30. My sunburn from a few weekends ago is peeling. I got a really bad one on my leg and my skin turned brown with little bubbles. Today it started peeling and it is like having a layer of leather as skin. It is really gross, but very satisfying to scratch off. :)

After class we hired a private taxi to take us to Friday Market. We really didn't want to walk 45 minutes in the heat to get there. Six of us piled into the small car, something that would be completely illegal in the USA. I was really annoyed with myself for only bringing 15,000UGsh to the market. It was quickly spent and then I kept seeing things I wanted to buy and couldn't afford to get them. People would call to me from behind their merchandise and roll their eyes in disbelief when I told them I was out of money. To them it is not possible for a white person to really be out of money.. Though I was, temporarily...I looked at my watch as we started walking back and it was already ten minutes past dinner time. I was not happy about being late for dinner. We couldn't find a taxi anywhere, but we didn't want to walk.

Susan, Shelby and I lagged behind the others so that we could vent our frustration about walking back and being hungry. Don't sit there judging us. Sometimes you just don't want to walk when its scorching hot and you are hungry. Cute, Italian boy from yesterday waved at us from the back of a motorcycle and we thought he was going to get off and walk with us, but he didn't. That would have made it a lot more interesting. The three of us stopped for a nice soda at a small shop. I got Lemon Fanta.

I looked down and saw Shelby's foot. It had poop on it. Susan and I spent a good fifteen minutes laughing so hard we cried while we watched Shelby freak out about the poop on her leg. Shelby makes the cutest faces when she is upset. Poor girl :) We felt bad but it was really very funny!

We really didn't want to walk, and we all had to go to the bathroom so I stood on the side of the road and waved at the cars going by trying to flag down a private hire taxi. People who were stuck in traffic laughed at me goodnaturedly. Finally a guy turned around and picked us up. His name was Ronald and he was really nice. He took us back to the house and we only paid 10,000UGsh which was totally money well spent!

We all just laid out all of our loot on the floor that we bought while in Uganda and admired everyone's purchases. It was a lot of fun. Here are some pictures of me and all my beads!

Now we will relax and try to figure out our practicum stuff and maybe do our homework. I am looking forward to this weekend. Tomorrow we are going to see the street boys again. Sunday is my birthday and I will be going to church with Faith and her mom (from rural visit) and then my friends are taking me out to eat at Cafe Java!

Another note about my sunburn. I sweated today and there are little bubbles that formed on my leg that make a crackling noise when I pop them.. so cool!!

Practicum Fair and Long Naps

2010-02-18T09:16:00.000-08:00

Last night I needed to have an American moment.. so I stayed up till 2:30am watching a movie in bed. It was really nice and worth it. I was woken up around 10am by Linda coming into our room looking for somebody. So I got up and tried reading a little bit of the next book on our list, Nervous Conditions.

We went to Ciao-ciao's for lunch and had rice and samosas. I was the only one who enjoyed her food. Oh our way we had passed these two cute Italian guys that we always see when we walk home from school. They passed us going the opposite way and waved. One of them said "Mzungus! How are you?". Susan retorted with "You're Mzungus too!" and we laughed and kept walking. They must not have had anything better to do because they ended up turning around and sitting near us in Ciao-Ciaos. They got up and we waved at them. It's too bad we never got a chance to meet them and we leave in a few days. I always wonder what other Mzungus are doing here.

I laid down on my bed to read at 12:30. I finished about one chapter and then fell asleep. The Ugandan warm afternoon was too overpowering, I couldn't stay awake. I woke up around 4pm and was frustrated that I hadn't gotten anything done.

At four we had our "Practicum Fair" which was us sitting at the dining room table hearing our options so we can choose our top three. There are four different sites to chose from. My favorite site is in Kitgum which is way up in Northern Uganda. There is room for six of us which I like the idea of because I would love to stay with the group and not feel isolated. The three jobs there are 1. to help pass out seeds, teach about using resources and saving money,, 2. to work with HIV education and prevention, 3. To work with women who have dealt with rape and war helping them heal and forgive. There are many other choices, and I really don't know what to do.

After dinner we had Owning Poverty and talked about being rich. We all expressed that in Uganda it is so hard not to feel filthy rich. Our reactions range from feeling guilty,and sad, to angry and frustrated. It was a brief discussion since all of us have a lot to do tonight. I should really get on that reading.. It looks like another long night ahead of me.

2/17/10 - Insert Foot into Mouth

2010-02-17T11:36:00.000-08:00

Stayed up to 2:30am doing my research paper on bananas and reading the book for today's discussion. Then I woke up with a bad dream and had a hard time falling back asleep. Got up at 6:30 to answer the questions for our reading before class.

We have been so spoiled lately with our professors coming to the house that everyone groaned a little bit this morning when we had to walk up the hill.

Okay, so this morning I had a total, foot in your mouth, embarrassing moment. It has been a while since I said something stupid, so I guess I was due. I figured I would blog about it so that you can cringe with me. It really probably wasn't as bad as I thought it was, but I felt pretty bad when it happened. I'm building it up so that my readers don't think it is as bad as they are expecting. So our professor has a cold that has slowly been getting worse. Every day it gets harder and harder to hear his voice. This morning he came in and his voice was almost completely gone. Without thinking at all I exclaimed "Dr. Impagi, you seem to be too sick to teach class today, it's fine if you want to cancel class". OOPS. I meant it to be a statement of concern, but the way it came out was completely rude. Halfway through the sentence I was already wishing I could take it back. I am not sure if the professor heard what I said because he didn't say anything, but everyone in class went silent and stared at me. Embarrassing..

Class ended at 10:30, it was our last morning class. Then we had until 1:30 for lunch. We ate and then played cards. Then I put some chairs together and fell asleep to Owl City playing on Nathan's laptop. I woke up when Dr. Susan got to class. We discussed the book and then got out early around 3:20.

Back at the house we all needed to relax. Last night was not a fun night of homework, but our next assignments aren't due till Friday because tomorrow is Practicum Fair. We got in bed right after class and rested until dinner. Dinner was yummy sweet and sour meatballs and rice. Then we played cards for the rest of the night. So yeah, at this point I am thinking about all the work to accomplish tomorrow, but it was worth having a few hours of relaxation after yesterdays stress.

Stress Week

2010-02-16T05:40:00.000-08:00

So if you have ever been involved with a theatrical production, you may have heard the term "Hell Week". This term is used to describe the week leading up to the performance. Everybody is majorly stressed and scrambling to put the finishing touches on the play. During that week, people might worry that there is too much to do in too little time, and fear that it wont come together as planned. It is, quite literally, a week of hell.

I will admit that I am quite skilled in the art of exaggeration, and that it might be a stretch to consider this last week in Uganda a sort of "Hell Week". However, at this exact moment I am experiencing all the stress and anxiety of not knowing how I will finish the work for my classes in the little time left. Much like being involved in a play, I have known from the beginning what is expected of me, and have had a list of things that need to get done. But as with so many things in life, the very last moments are when these things get finished. Sure, I didn't have to procrastinate as much as I did. But if I had been doing my homework in advance, I would have missed out on having fun! So I don't feel bad about it, I knew that eventually I would have to pay for all of my time having fun. I am entering this week with the attitude of, "while this week is going to be really stressful and yucky, homework-wise, I had a lot of fun these last couple weeks so it was worth it".

Today we had a wonderful rainy day. Both professors came to the house for class which was an absolute treat for us. We got to dress comfortably and I pulled out my sweatshirt and fluffy socks again. During our long lunch break we came up to our room and took turns reading out loud the article for our next class (the copier was broken so we were getting it done in bulk). I will admit that all of us read when it was our turn, but then fell asleep as soon as somebody else was reading. In our second class we discussed feminism and African women writers. Africa seems to be a bit behind the USA when it comes to equality between men and women, which made for interesting conversation.

Now it is 5pm. I have a 12 page paper to write about bananas with my group, a book, and a take home quiz to finish before I go to bed. I also have another book to read this week, another take home quiz, articles for discussion, a presentation and a reflection paper. Plus trying to enjoy our last week and weekend in Uganda before we go on safari. The good news is I work best under pressure, so I am sure it will all get done.

Okay I am sure my readers are hoping I will stop complaining about my work load. Well, you are reading my blog because you are interested in what is going on with us, and I can tell you that right now, everyone is stressing and working feverishly to do everything that was assigned us. Prayers for clear minds and energy would be great!

A Romantic Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T09:22:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

I woke up too late to go to church, and then spent all day laying in bed reading the book that is due tomorrow. It was such a relaxing day. I didn't look in a mirror and I only left the room to get breakfast and lunch. I got to Skype with Deanne which was a great treat! I did homework, listened to music and looked up funny things online to laugh at with my roommates.

A few days ago we had volunteered the guys to make us girls Valentines Day dinner. They were a little reluctant at first, but tonight they went completely above and beyond our expectations. It was the most romantic Valentines Day ever!

We were invited downstairs by Ryan, Tim and Nathan who had all dressed up for the occasion. My roommates and I had also dressed up and made ourselves look cute for the occasion. We were immediately charmed when we walked into the dining room to see that there was a tablecloth on the table, and roses and chocolate on our plates. So sweet! Dinner was a delicious chicken and vegetable stir-fry, with fruit smoothies. We listened to romantic music while we ate. Then the guys brought our warm brownies with chocolate frosting, and Italian ice cream for dessert. Talk about knowing the way to a girls heart!! Roses, chocolate, yummy food, and brownie sundaes! Seriously guys, props to you all for being so romantic and sweet.

Am I gushing too much? Maybe I was expecting to spend Valentine's Day being sad about being single and missing Chris. Instead I had a great day filled with laughter, my wonderful, loving and hilarious friends, and the most romantic Valentine's Day dinner ever! I may be single, but I am certainly not lonely! <3 <3 The only thing that could have made my day better would have been seeing Owl City at Messiah this weekend. It's a bummer that I missed it. Other than that, a great great day!

Happy Valentine's day everyone! My love goes out to all of you!

Street boys Pictures

2010-02-11T13:10:00.001-08:00

These pictures go with the blog posting below.

Here are some street boys that spend the night at the church for safety and a good night's sleep.

Me and Ayesha

This little boy IS so special. I wanted to bring him home with me.

Street Boys

2010-02-11T08:11:00.001-08:00

God gave me just what I needed today.

We had morning class at the house today. We were perfectly content thinking that we would be having a relaxing afternoon of vegging out and finishing up homework. We have easily fallen into a lazy rut of relaxing in the afternoons. Not today!

Jessica, a former Go Ed student came for lunch to tell us about the street kids ministry she had started after her semester 3 years ago. She is truly an amazing woman. She invited us to come and meet the boys so we decided to go today. I was tired and almost considered not going. It is very easy to feel uncomfortable going into the inner city of Kampala. We took a matatu downtown and then walked for a while.

We came up to this "church" which is made of sheet metal and has two open walls. The boys sleep there at night with guards keeping watch so that they don't have to worry about being kidnapped, raped or stolen from at night. We went and met some of the boys and then a bunch of the neighborhood children came to meet us too. They got really excited about our cameras and we let them take turns taking pictures of us and each other on them. I danced around with a few of the younger boys and girls that came to play. They were so cute! and they were dancing the traditional dances that we saw a few weeks ago being performed by professionals.

This one little boy had on a ripped and filthy shirt that said "I am special". For some reason that really moved me. All of these children are so so special to God. They are his children and, to quote "The Shack", he is "especially fond" of them. I picked the boy up and hugged him tight and he told me over and over in my ear "I love you". It doesn't get any better than that. Then I played with a little girl names Ayesha. I held her on my lap for about an hour. Everyone in our group had a child in their arms except for the ones playing soccer with the older boys. We didn't want to leave, and they didn't want us to. One of the boys put a small bead necklace that he had made in my hands. The boy with the "I am special" shirt started crying when I gave him a hug goodbye.

We walked to one of the boys homes that Jessica helped start. It was a little house with a tiny courtyard. The boys showed us their keyboard that played different beats and we all danced and laughed. They had a really cute dog that was well fed and fluffy (and had all its shots). The boys are taken off the streets and they get help with quitting the drugs they are on. Many of the boys come in addicted to sniffing petrol, because it takes away the pain of hunger, the cold, helps them sleep, and they are able to forget their circumstances. The boys were great!

We walked a long way back to the matatu park and caught our ride home. We had ribs for dinner and now are relaxing after a long hot day. I hope we get a chance to go back. I really needed to step out of the comfort zone I had made for myself. It was an amazing afternoon.

2/10/10

2010-02-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

So today was one of our longer days with two classes. We packed lunches and went up the hill. Our friend Tim seemed to sprint ahead of the group as we walked up the hill. We decided that we wanted to catch up with him and get in front, but I was the only one competitive enough to actually follow through with jogging to catch up with him. I did it and I beat him to class. Completely not important at all, but just a little anecdote about our morning walk...

Class was decent. Our first professor had a meeting to attend so he ended class at about 10. Our next class was at 1:30, so we had quite a long lunch break. We ate and played President, which is a card game. We all must be competitive people, and the heat definitely doesn't improve our dispositions, because we were all getting pretty cross during our game. Everyone was getting irritated, so we finally decided to stop the game. We sat around and talked for the rest of our break. Literature was decent. We had our discussion of "Death and the King's Horseman". I have never been in an English class where we were reading so many books in such a small amount of time. I was getting groggy and hungry and was having a hard time staying awake.

Back at the house we all relaxed until dinner. At dinner, Rachel suggested that we have a dialogue/debate/discussion later tonight about homosexuality, just as an interesting topic to hear everyone's opinions on. So at 7:30 a bunch of us gathered upstairs to talk about our beliefs in a respectful and safe discussion. It was really interesting and I am glad that we did it. I think it is great that we were all willing to hear each other out and talk about why we feel the way we feel.

Just got off the phone with my friend Rachel from home. :) It was great hearing her voice. Now I am waiting for Emily and Shelby to come home from babysitting so that we can get an outline done for our paper on the uses of the banana tree.

Tuesday

2010-02-09T10:58:00.000-08:00

So the internet hasn't been working on my computer the last two days and I was psyched when it came back on for me tonight and I got to post all the blogs I had written in Notepad onto my site :)

Today I woke up to thunder and lightening. The rain was coming down hard and fast. I groaned because I didn't want to walk a mile in nasty weather to sit for three hours in wet clothes. Yes I have a rain jacket, but that's only good for the top half of me! None of us wanted to be the one to do it, but I eventually asked Kate if she could have Dr. Mpagi come to the house instead of to the club. She said yes and went to pick him up so we could stay here for class. It was awesome. I found my fluffy red Christmas socks and wore them in honor of the occasion. It was so nice for it to be chilly and to get to wear jeans, a sweatshirt and fleece socks.

After class we had yummy grilled cheese and curry sandwiches with soup. Kate took my group to Ciao-Ciaos for ice cream because a few weeks ago we won a contest during the matatu challenge. Then I watch "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" and took a nap until dinner. I spent an hour in the spare bedroom reading the play for tomorrows discussion - Death and the King's Horseman. Then I worked on the homework and studied with the girls. We seriously have so much fun hanging out with each other.

Everyone is off either playing cards or doing homework. I am updating my blog, Facebook, and checking email. then I need to proof read my homework for tomorrow. I am really unhappy with how it turned out, but I don't consider literary analysis to be one of my strengths, or one of my interests, so I did my best.

Just wanted to give a shout out to Grandma Lackey - I love you, and I am going to try to give you a call soon if I can!

Rural Visit - Sunday

2010-02-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

Rural Visit - Sunday

Sunday February 7th 2010

We thought that we were going to go to the 7am church service at the community church, but when I woke up at 6:30 to get ready, nobody else was up and it was still dark outside. Faith wanted to leave as early as possible for our ride back to Kampala, so around 9am she sent us to a different church. We got to the church halfway through the service and everyone stared as we walked to our seats. We sung a few closing songs that were cool. Everyone had such beautiful voices, and there was a lot of clapping and happy yelling. We got introduced to the congregation near the end. After the service, we were invited back to the Priest's office to talk with him. He was very friendly and welcomed us to the community. On the way back, we stopped at the community church for a few minutes. We were welcomed inside and participated in saying some prayers. Then we said goodbye and went back to our huts. Everyone within our cluster of huts came for a big family picture with us. Then some children arrived and we gave them the sandals we had bought for them. I really wish we had also bought some clothing to give out because so many of them were wearing torn and filthy clothing. One boy had only a pair of old corduroys on and they were so ripped that he had tied them to his legs to keep them in place. Heartbreaking.. Whereas back in the States I am always buying new clothes and feeling like my fully stocked wardrobe is lacking something. How lucky I am to have more than one pair of pants.

It came time to say goodbye and load into the van. Every was hugging us and asking us to please come back to see them. Agnes, one of the school teachers that I didn't get a chance to talk to much grabbed my hand and didn't want to let me go. She lead me to her little house, which was just a room in the school building that had a mattress on the floor. She gave Morgan and I pictures of her and then we took one of all of us on our camera and she asked if we could give her a copy. I hugged the elders and they were all so sweet. Somebody turned on the van radio and the grandmother I was trying to take a picture with started dancing and it was so cute! We got on the road and I cried a little bit as we pulled away from the village because I was so overwhelmed by the love that we felt there. I slept most of the way back. It rained which cooled everything down nicely.

Back at the house, I was so excited to see all my friends again. We had some good outhouse stories to tell and everyone was talking at once about how much they loved their weekend. We all wanted to go back. The whole group went to our director, Grace's, house for dinner. We had a really fun debriefing meeting where we got to hear a lot of really good stories. Our consensus was that Africans know the real meaning of hospitality. In the USA we often consider guests a burden. Here, guests are treated like it is an honor to have them around. We were welcomed into the family and shown amazing love.

I had THE BEST weekend ever. I wish I didn't have to live in the city. Our semester would be so much cooler if we were in the village. Though I am really happy to have running water, real toilets, showers and internet.

Rural Visit - Saturday

2010-02-09T09:27:00.000-08:00

Copied from Diary
February 6 2010

Last night I couldn't fall asleep till 2am because we had left the light bulb on waiting for Faith's mom to join us, but she came and decided to sleep in another hut instead. I woke up this morning around 6am to the rooster crowing, and I could hear that everyone was already awake in the village and were sweeping the dirt around the huts to make everything look tidy. I was disappointed to have missed taking the goats out. Morgan and I sat down with a group of women and pulled what looked like basil leaves off their stems. Faith's mother (called "Mama" by everyone in the village) wanted us to see the well that they used before they dug one in the center of their cluster of huts. A group of us all carried jugs on a half hour walk to the next nearest well to pump water. They use these big, yellow, plastic jugs that used to hold cooking oil to carry water. We always see women carrying full jugs (at least 6 gallons) on their head perfectly balanced. Amazing! Pacific (a family friend), Innocent (Faith's brother), and Patrick (our driver) all carried cameras and videotaped and snapped pictures of us helping out. It was nice because we didn't have to feel like we were missing photo opportunities. I helped pump the water that got funneled in to containers. Some village kids gathered to watch. they were very shy and didn't say anything, but decided to follow us all back to our huts.

When we got back we finally had breakfast (people never fully understand that I need food right away when I wake up). There was a lot of fresh fruit which was really nice. The guys caught a chicken to demonstrate to us how to properly kill one before we did our own. They took the chicken and stood on its feet and its wings. After plucking out some feathers to expose the neck, they took a sharp, but small knife and sawed its head off. the severed neck was pulsing and squirting blood as Patrick held it upside down to drain. All three of us started gagging and were a little bit distressed after watching that. Ryan and I talked about how we had expected it to be done with a hatchet in one swift chopping motion, not a slow sawing motion. We both said that we weren't sure if we could do it. Then we had to pluck out its feathers. That was not fun at all.

Momma sent us out to the garden with the young boys to help harvest potatoes and cassava out of the garden. I tried my best to help with the hoeing, but it was so clear that I had never hoed a potato in my life. And the soil was very hard, making it difficult for a weakling like myself to move any dirt. It didn't seem like we were particularly helpful because on the off chance that we did get a potato, we would be overzealous with the hoe and accidentally chop the potato in half. The potatoes excreted a weird white film that got all over our hands and shirts that we later had to use gasoline to remove. They finally told us to go back and kill our chicken and let the boys finish up in the garden. Morgan (a vegetarian in the States) gave Ryan and I a hard time because she said it was hypocritical for us to not want to kill a chicken if we were going to eat it. We explained that it wasn't the killing, it was the blood and the sawing motion that was grossing us out. Just because I eat meat doesn't mean i am heartless and don't feel bad for the death. She still thought it was ridiculous. So I told them both that I had decided to kill the chicken. Not only did I want to prove that I wasn't a hypocrite or a coward, I do think that meat eaters should take part in the killing of their food to fully understand the choice they are making.

Morgan didn't want to watch the slaughter for a second time, so Ryan helped me kill our chicken. He stood on its feet and I stood on its wings. Pacific held its head out with me. I panicked for a moment before I did it because it was hard knowing that I was taking away the life of something that had just been happily strutting around the yard. I closed my eyes and said "Okay, I'm going to do it" and then opened my eyes and sawed away. It was really disgusting feeling the final layer of skin pull apart and the head come off. I was a little shaky as I held it upside down to drain the blood. We put it in boiling water to loosen the feathers and then plucked this chicken as well, and watched it cut into pieces.

We all piled into the van and drove to see the "River Nile" and the bridge to Northern Uganda. It was really cool to see but we couldn't take pictures on the actual bridge because the security is really heavy and they don't want the only bridge in the area that crosses the Nile to be blown up. There were baboons sitting on the side of the road eating scraps. We pulled up next to them and opened the door to take some good pictures. We didn't get out because I didn't want to risk getting rabies. (That's for you mom!) They were really ugly monkeys, that's for sure. We went to the market and met Momma there. Ryan, Morgan and I had decided to buy shoes for the village children. Many of them go completely barefoot which puts them at high risk of getting worms. So we bought 15 or more pairs of sandals to bring back for the kids. As we walked through the market, Momma bought me a few Sim-sim balls to eat. They are sesame seed balls that are held together by caramelized sugar. Yum! I said that I liked them and she ran back to buy me a huge bag full. It was such amazing hospitality. They never let us buy a single thing for ourselves because we were their guests, but I felt so guilty because I am so wealthy and they shouldn't have to spend their money on me! By the time we got back my bladder was about to explode because there had been no place to go to the bathroom and then the bumpy path/road made everything worse. I was never so happy to see a squatty potty :)

Momma had two of her teachers and a few others come to help us with collecting stories for our oral literature assignment. We listened to stories and proverbs for hours which was very interesting.

Then came dinner time. Everything looked wonderful until I saw the chicken. I looked at the drumstick on my plate and nearly gagged just thinking about pulling the feathers out of it. I couldn't stop picture the blood pooling up below it when I cut its head off. I ate a few bites and then gave it to Pacific. I felt bad but I really would have thrown up if I ate another bite.

We built another campfire and sat around talking for hours. Patrick told us about his really hard childhood and how he is so blessed that he found Momma who hired him as her driver and got him off the streets. He said that every day he prays that he will be able to live a long happy life, and that he will be able to help kids get out of the same situation he was in. Pacific brought out a map of Uganda with the different districts highlighted. Innocent, Pacific, Patrick and I spend more than an hour looking at the map and just talking about Uganda. Up until now I had been confused about a few things. Now I know, the Baganda are only one tribe out of 50 tribes. The Buganda tribe has 52 clans in it. So even though Kampala is full of Bugandan people, they are not the majority in Uganda. Pacific started telling us the story of how he came to Uganda from the Congo. Dinner was put on the table. The village had slaughtered one of the lovely goats in our honor. After the chicken I couldn't eat the goat either, but I also couldn't be rude and not eat it. So I chewed a few pieces and discretely spit them into my hand and later threw them behind the outhouse. I felt terrible doing it but I kept imagining and smelling blood. Oh the joys of an overactive imagination. We sat and talked for a while longer and then went to bed.

Rural Visit - Friday

2010-02-07T06:35:00.000-08:00

Copied from my diary:
February 5th 2010

This morning we packed up our things for the rural visit. Faith arrived early and so we left around 10:45am. In the van with us were Faith's friend, Jude, her brother, Innocent, and their driver, Patrick. Ryan, Morgan and I piled into the back and we were on our way. The village we went to was in the Masindi district about a four hours drive away. It is not Faith's village, but her mother (called "Mama" by everyone), started the village for victims of the war to get a new start. They also started a school for all of the children in the area so that they wouldn't have to walk hours to school in the morning. so basically we were staying as guests in the village her mother started.

On our ride we stopped at a roadside market and filled up the van with fresh produce. We were given money to buy a gift for our hosts, so we asked Faith what we should get. She said that it must be from our hearts, so we thought and then suggested that we might buy them a chicken. Faith and Jude burst into laughter and we weren't sure why. At one point we reached a place where the roads were getting repaved so there were more than 150 speed bumps in a row. It took forty-five minutes at least of being bounced in the air before the bumps were over. I tried to sleep most of the way but couldn't. Faith asked me if I wanted a blanket because it was cold...I have no idea what she was talking about because even though the temperature dropped a few degrees, it was still hot and sticky for me.

We turned off the main road and started driving down a dirt path. The van straddled the path and there was tall grass on either side. We drove for at least a half an hour trying to avoid ditches in our path. It was so amazing to realize that we were in the middle of nowhere, in Africa. Wow. I picture myself on a path in the middle of Africa, then in my mind I zoom out (just like on google earth) and saw the African continent in my mind and couldn't believe that this is where I am. We finally pulled up in the middle of a cluster of huts. We got out and saw a table with a group of middle aged villagers eating. We greeted each other and they seemed very excited to meet us. Everyone was so gracious!

Us girls are sharing a hut. It is very nice. The walls are made of brick and concrete with a thatched roof overhead. There are four beds and a plastic table and chair set, and a wardrobe used as a cupboard. The men nailed frames to our beds for our mosquito netting to hang on. Walking around we immediately noticed the animals. Aside from chickens, a crazy looking rooster, ducks, huge turkeys and bunnies, there were more than fifty goats running around. They were absolutely adorable! I love goats, especially the little babies that make that silly "maaaaaaa" sound. We realized then why Faith had laughed when we wanted to buy a goat as a gift... they seem to have plenty as it is! On our way back from the outhouses, Ryan asked a woman if he could help her pound millet. She let him take the big stick and pound at it for a few minutes while laughing hysterically at his efforts. She said he must not have ever worked in the garden or used a hoe, because he was so weak. haha. Poor Ryan. But we all had a good laugh over his switching of traditional gender roles.

Morgan, Ryan and I wandered down a path that lead away from the cluster of huts. On both sides were tall grasses that were almost as tall as us. The setting couldn't have felt more remote. I was thinking about how different and awesome this experience is in comparison to if I was at Messiah right now carrying out my normal routine. We soon noticed that we had company. Three adorable young boys were shyly following us from a safe distance. We waited for them to catch up, but they were bashful and came very slowly. The three of us tried to talk to them, with almost no success. It was a very awkward moment and we comment that we were glad that nobody else had to witness our difficulties trying to communicate with the boys. Embrace the uncomfortable, right? We finally gave them high fives, the universal sign of friendship. :)

Patrick adn Innocent joined us, and we soon came upon the schoolhouse that they had built. The building was made out of tin sheeting because the first one they had built had been grass and had burnt down. We were welcomed in to the classes by a very friendly teacher. There were fifteen children sitting at their desks waiting for him to write up their homework. On the board were some math problems and a bar graph. It looked like the same education I received at that age. In the second classroom we went in to, all of the children stood up to greet us. I shook hands with the few in front of me, but then all of the kids came over to shake my hand. When they shook my hand they would also go into a bow/kneeling position as a sign of respect. Outside, the teacher told us that they had been told that we would be coming at eight in the morning so all the children had prepared performances for us, but it was now almost five and time for them to go home, and half of the students had gone home at lunch anyways. We felt terrible, and assured the teacher that if we had known we would have left early in the morning to get there on time.

We continued walking and came upon a church with a group gathered outside. They came over and greeted us with the customary words "You are most welcome!" They showed us the church and told us about their growing ministry. The leaders were Dallington and Margaret. they were so kind to us and we said we would come on Sunday.

When the kids got out of school they all came to our huts and stood in a cluster acting very shy. We tempted them out of their shyness by making a jump rope out of a goat rope. They loved it when I took their picture and then showed it on the digital screen, it had them giggling and poking fun at each others facial expressions. I took tons of pictures. We went to the rusty swing set and slide and played some more. One girl was so cute and I just wanted to bring her home with me. I wish we could stay longer than the weekend to play with them after school again.

Faith called us back for a small meal in our hut. It was yummy sausage, ground nuts, and bananas. faith said it was just a snack and that we needed to save room because it would be rude to not eat anything the villagers offered us.

We helped bring the goats in which was a lot of fun for me. The goats are tied to the tall grass to graze, so we untied them and brought them back to their pens to be tied up. I think a few of the village boys set their goats free on purpose because it was funny watching the white people run after them. At the end I got to hold one of the baby goats in my arms. Now I am having dreams of becoming a goat farmer in the middle of the African bush..

We drove to pick up two policemen that would keep watch over us at night. I don't think it was necessary to have guards, but they don't take chances with their white visitors because we might tell other people that its not safe to come or give money.. Makes sense. We built a fire between our hut and the boy's hut. Then we told stories, shared superstitions that were funny from our culture and theirs and laughed. We were served another meal, that was very good ( a lot better than the Ugandan food I had at a restaurant a few weeks ago). I liked the sticky millet bread that is cut using the edge of a bowl. During the day we used a solar panel to collect light to power a bulb for our hut while we got ready for bed. Now I am sitting in bed writing because I can't lay down right away after taking my malaria pill. I can't wait to play with the goats tomorrow. Goodnight!

Kendall in Africa

2010-02-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

Here are some random thoughts about myself and my life here in Uganda. I thought they might interest and amuse you. If not, at least I've gotten a few laughs at myself.

1. I LOVE soda. Can you believe it? Kendall Scheid craves soda and must buy at least one each day as a special treat! My all time favorite is Mirinda Pineapple. The soda here is made with cane sugar, so it is pure and sweet and wonderful. Nothing like sipping an ice cold Mirinda to brighten your mood.Don't worry, I'll try not to bring my addiction home to the US...

2. Walking distance in the US means I can see it from where I am standing. Here, everything is walking distance. You have two legs don't you? The mall is walking distance, forty-five minutes on foot. We walk a mile to school, up hill! Basically, if it is humanly possible to walk somewhere, then it is in walking distance :) A plus said to this is that I am walking off all the sodas I have been drinking.

3. Skirts are an essential part of my new wardrobe here. Pants really would be way too hot. Skirts, at least, let in a nice breeze. I might start wearing them more often at home.

4. It is worth leaving 20 minutes earlier than everyone else to get the seat next to the fan. People might make fun of you for leaving so early, but when they come in and see that the only seats left are the farthest from the fan, they wish they had too.

5. Long legs and a fast stride are both a blessing and a curse. In the morning they are a blessing because I am always the first to enter the classroom and pick my seat. On the other hand, when I am walking with a Ugandan, I tend to go too fast. I have to walk a little behind to keep a slower pace. I feel like I might as well be crawling, because next to my normal walk, the pace here is snail-like.

6. Everyone needs to take the time to RELAX! While in Africa, we have been living a great life! There isn't a stress that comes with a fast paced society to make us feel like everything and everyone is wasting our time. We have almost three hours for lunch and we spend that time eating and relaxing and playing cards. In the US I never played cards because I could think of so many things that I should be doing in that time. Here, I am perfectly happy to spend two hours playing a card game because life is about relationships, and I have made so many great ones! It feels so good to calm down. When I go back to the States I want to make sure that I slow myself down to a healthier pace so that I can take the time to do the things that matter and enjoy everything I have been given.

7. I love living in a room with five other girls, in a house of 16 people. I have always been a relationship oriented person, but I just really enjoy having people around me all the time. My roommates are the sweetest, coolest girls ever! I love our afternoons laying on the tile floor and laughing together. Our group as a whole is pretty fun. Meal times are like eating with a big family. We always have something amusing to talk and joke about. Field trips are fun when we are all in the van listening to the radio turned up and dancing.

8. Living with 16 people causes you to get very comfortable very fast. If your sick and you need help, you need to be comfortable announcing that you have diarrhea, and then being asked what your poop smells like because the various smells indicate different kinds of amoeba that you might have.

9. Here in Uganda, I wont know if I am tan, or if I am just really dirty. I will get home from school and think about how cool my sandal tan line is. Then I will scrub my feet in the tub and dry them off to find that I have washed off a few shades of brown.

10. I am happy for even the shortest contact with my family and friends at home. I may be happily surrounded by people here, but I still have my moments when I really miss talking to someone who actually knows me. Quick conversations over the internet may not seem like much to people at home, but for me they mean the world. It is hard not to feel half a world away from the people I love. At least most of my school friends are also studying abroad, because other people in this group get a little sad when they see how much fun people are having without them. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything, just feeling really far away.

11. Everyone here is very skinny and short. They all look very healthy, and it is hard to tell age because Ugandans all look fairly young. I have to wonder why they look so much better than Americans. I think it has a lot to do with eating pure food in small portion sizes. All I can say is that our preservatives sure aren't doing a very good job of preserving our bodies! They also walk everywhere, keeping them fit. I can't imagine what Ugandans must think when they come to the US and see how HUGE everything is. We truly are a country where everything is super-sized..even our people ;) I don't mean any offense by that comment, it is, however, the truth.

12. We really take for granted that people will understand our language. Here everyone has the language of their clans, and Lugandan, AND English which is the national language. We heard a very passionate radio broadcast of two people arguing over whether they should be speaking English. There are still a lot of negative feelings about anything that is related to colonialism. It makes sense that since Uganda is no longer under the British empire, they feel like they should go back to their own language. On the other hand, it is very useful in the world we live in for an individual to be able to speak English. If I were Ugandan, I would take advantage of a language that has the potential of connecting me to the outside world.

13. This trip will cure me of my nervousness when driving. If I can make it through the whole semester crossing the street and riding around where there are no driving rules, I think I can handle driving in the States.

14. Uganda has turned me into a potty mouth. Every time I cross the street I can hear myself cussing up a storm (without meaning to) because I really do believe that I am going to die with the cars and motorcycles coming within 2 inches and honking their horns. When I get to the other side of the street I realize that I am also holding somebody's hand because I am so scared that without knowing it I grab something to hold onto.

You can expect more ponderings when they come to me ;)

Kasubi Tombs Field Trip

2010-02-04T07:31:00.000-08:00

Like I said last Thursday, there's nothing like a field trip. We left at 8am on the "dino bus" (our bus is painted with dinosaurs!). We had a relatively short ride to Kampala where we went to see the Kasubi Tombs. This is the site of the biggest hut in the world. The hut has 52 pillars holding it up to represent the 52 clans of the Bugandan people. (Like I said before, the country is Uganda, it's people are the Buganda, and they speak Lugandan.) Outside the hut was the drum hut where there is a man that drums a traditional rhythm several times a day. Women are not allowed in the hut because the drummer must be celibate and they don't want him to be tempted. Our funny tour guide said that while it may be an honor to be the drummer boy, we wouldn't catch him wanting to live that kind of life. :) There are a few other huts where some of the descendants of past King's wives live to be near the tombs. There is a fire that is kept burning 24/7 while the King is alive, and only is put out when he dies and they are appointing a new King. Because the Buganda want peace among the royal family, the eldest son is not allowed to be King, thus reducing jealousy and the son plotting to kill his father. Instead there is a counsel of people who pick the new King from all of the sons. The biggest hut in the world was impressive, but I expected it to be bigger. We removed our shoes to enter, and sat on the mat covered floor to listen to our guide. There weren't many decorations of adornments. In the center there was a display with portraits of the handful of Kings buried there and a line of their traditional spears. There was a stuffed jaguar and a table with two chairs given by the Queen of England for the King and his wife. I guess she didn't realize that he had 84 wives and more than 100 children. I was surprised at the simple and poor quality of the chairs. You would think that a Queen would be able to give the Bugandan King at least something semi-fancy, instead of just an ordinary set that could be found in anyone's house. Behind a curtain of bark cloth is where the Kings are buried. The tombs are dug into the ground, and extend behind the hut. Only the royal family is allowed to go back. They call it the "great forest", and instead of saying that the King has passed away, everyone must say "the King is lost in the great forest". Right now there is a President and a King. The King is the heart of the people, and he was critical is empowering people to take care of themselves and prevent the spread of AIDS, and he also helped women gain their right to vote. The King stays out of politics, and he is very loved among his people.

While we sat inside the hut the power went out and it started raining really hard outside. It was the first daytime rain that I got to see and I would have loved to run out into it. It felt very peaceful sitting on the floor of a hut, with the rain falling outside, listening to the story of the Bugandan Kings. The rain didn't last very long, but it cooled everything off nicely. We took some group pictures in front of the hut and stopped at the gift shop. I could have bought some paintings, but they were overpriced and I know I can get them for cheaper at a craft market. We loaded into the bus and dropped a few people off at the mall on our way back. I was going to go to a craft fair but then I heard we were having Grace's wonderful broccoli salad for lunch and I had to come back to get some. Now we are relaxing waiting for lunch to be put out. I'm not sure what the plans are for tonight but I think we might go out dancing. I know I haven't been out on the town yet, but I have been having so much fun becoming close with my new friends here that I haven't felt the need to go out and spend money.

Tomorrow is our rural visit. We aren't going to Charles' house, we are going to Faith's village instead. She was with us on the field trip and I asked her what to expect for this weekend. She said "Well, you will learn to prepare a traditional meal. Get ready to catch a chicken and kill it. Then you will get to skin and prepare it. And also bring your fun bag because we are going to have a lot of fun!" Oh dear... I have to butcher a chicken? Morgan is a vegetarian, so she wont want to do it so I guess it is between Ryan and I to decide who gets that honor. Part of me says that I should for the experience and because every meat eater should participate in the killing of an animal so that they can know the reality of their dietary choices. The other part of me says that I don't need to be emotionally scarred, and that I couldn't personally take something life away. We shall see. I am getting excited. It will be our first real experience of life here, because so far we have been pampered in our 5 star guest house. I think I will spend the rest of this afternoon getting next week's homework started so that I don't have to stress about it Sunday night.

02/03/10

2010-02-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

Today was a long day at school, but it had its fun moments.

My close friends and I always leave our house earlier than everyone else. It is well worth it to be the first people to get to the classroom and get our seats next to the fan, especially on our long class days. Plus, by the time we get there we are sweaty and its nice to relax and cool off before our first lecture. It felt like 11am would never come, but it finally did and we ate our packed lunches (sandwiches and carrot sticks). Then we had 2 hours to hang out before our next class. Our new obsession is playing this card game called Kemps. We played a few rounds, but soon some of us were getting irritated that we weren't able to beat the team that kept winning, so we went to, quite literally, "cool off" in the pool. After that we hung out and talked until our next professor arrived. In African Literature class we discussed the "Song of Lawino" which is a very interesting epic/poem. At the end of class (4pm) we walked home.

Once again it was so hot that I had to sit in the bathtub with my swimsuit on to cool off. My roommates and I laid on our tile floor and talked and giggled until dinner. We had lasagna and apple crisp that was amazing. Dinner is always fun and filled with jokes and lively conversation. I really am having a great time here.

Now I am going to take my Doxy pills, hang out, and eventually go to bed early. Tomorrow is another feildtrip. I am sure that I will post again tomorrow, but if not, we have our rural visits this weekend and I wont be back until Sunday. I have had an off and on sore throat for 3 days, and a very runny nose, but I think it's probably nothing. We'll see.

I am currently borrowing someone else's laptop because I don't have internet on mine at the moment (our wireless internet is very finicky).

2/2/10- Summer in February!

2010-02-02T20:34:00.000-08:00

It was a half day at school which was nice. The walk up to class was cool this morning thanks to the rain that we had overnight. I told myself to walk slowly and enjoy the company of everyone on the walk instead of going at my own quick pace to get a good seat next to the fan. We were the first to arrive anyways so I got my favorite seat anyways :) It was very very hard to stay awake during class today. My friend Linda kept laughing because as I would start zoning out, my mouth would open and I looked ridiculous. Class was over at 11, and we had our lunch money to go out for our meal. Ten of us played cards for half an hour. We have gotten really into cards here. It the relaxed way of life that allows us to feel like we have time for playing and laughing and relaxing with each other. These relationships are becoming so wonderful! I am blessed that my new family here is so much fun! We walked past our school to a restaurant called "Cafe Roma". It was not going to open until 1, but they made an exception (probably because they didn't want to miss out on so much business. They were so gracious to us, a sharp contrast to the rigidity of the United States. We played cards while we waited for our food to come. Thank goodness for cards, everyone was getting crabby and it took our minds off our hunger. We all loved our meal. I was SO happy to have some pizza. Unfortunately the whole thing cost us two days worth of lunch money (mine was 16500UGsh which is about 8 dollars). We finished and walked all the way back with full stomachs.

I was royally ticked at myself for not getting homework done yesterday. I guess i was too distracted by the internet and talking to friends from home. I spent all afternoon locked away in the spare bedroom forcing myself to concentrate. It was so incredibly hot I almost threw up after dinner. But I found the solution! I put on my swim suit and sat in our bathtub with the hand held water sprayer in one hand and my book in the other. Almost immediately I felt better and refreshed. I just finished my homework (11:30pm). My internet is not working today so I will post this tomorrow. For some reason it feels very important for me to write out my story in this blog. I don't like to miss a day because I have no energy to write it out by hand.

Love and Kisses to everyone ;)

ps. speaking of love and kisses.. one thing I really miss is being HUGGED! I don't think people here are at a comfort level yet where we can hug a lot, I need some! I am going through serious affection withdrawal and I don't appreciate it! Somebody get this girl a hug!!

God is GOOD! another wonderful day

2010-02-01T09:14:00.001-08:00

All the prayers were answered! Nobody got food poisoning! Thank you Jesus!

Today was great. We had the most wonderful "practical" lecture in our morning class. Dr. Mpagi brought his wife and daughter to help him explain some customs and traditional things we should know about the Baganda (Ugandan people). First, Tim and Susan modeled some traditional clothing that was pretty cool. The Bagandan people used to make their cloth out of the bark of trees pounded into a thin fabric-like sheet. We watched his wife demonstrate how to make amatooke (boiled bland bananas) the traditional way. We learned the uses of banana leaves and got a gift of roasted coffee beans to chew on.. I had a few and they were interesting. I got some pictures taken of me balancing a basket on my head with a gourd "baby" tied to my back in the traditional way. We learned a really fun children's song in Lugandan that we sang and each person had to dance. I make a total fool of myself by tripping but it was funny so we all got a good laugh. It was such a good lecture.

We played Kemp - a really awesome card game- at lunch. Today we packed lunches so we had a wonderful 2 hour break to relax, play and laugh. Our second class was very slow and I couldn't wait for it to be over so I could get some ice cream on my way back to the house. The heat got to us again and we were all in a bit of a frustrated mood when we got to Ciao-Ciaos for ice cream. we got in line and got cut by TWO Ugandans. My poor friend was about to tell someone off but she cooled off when she finally got her heavenly gelatto. We came home and ate the most wonderful rice with Lamb stew on top ever, and there was pumpkin cake.

Our Owning Poverty discussion was good tonight. Well actually most of it was pretty silly and we did a lot of laughing and joking around. But then we talked about priorities. We did a quiz and I found out that my top three priorities are 1. Intimate Friendships 2. Physical Touch and 3. Health...No surprises there at all. We also wrote down some goals for the time here.

Now it is homework time..

15 students + 3 bathrooms = you do the math

2010-01-31T08:56:00.000-08:00

Well I knew that eventually I would get some kind of stomach illness that would have me fighting for the bathroom. But I didn't think it would be food poisoning..

Every Sunday a few from our group will cook for us because our cook has the day off. Morgan, Rob and Rachel made us a nice meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. It wasn't done till 7 so we were all starving. We started eating and it wasn't until halfway through the meal that we realized that our meat wasn't cooked all the way. I don't know how we missed it. I was just thinking that most Ugandan chicken dishes have had a weird texture so it must be something about skinny chickens.. So now all of us are waiting for the possible food poisoning to set in from eating raw but slightly warmed chicken. 15 students with possible food poisoning and 3 bathrooms.. doesn't sound like a fun night to me. We may have to follow Dr. Stockley's advice and sit in the bathtub and rinse off when its over. sounded funny when we were all feeling fine.. disgusting.

And the worst part is that even if I don't get food poisoning I will still throw up. The placebo effect and my hypochondriac tendencies will have me believing I am sick anyways. So yay. Here's to throwing up.

Photos from today

2010-01-30T13:11:00.001-08:00

Don't touch the elephant.. metal in the sun ... I burnt my hand.

I LOVE this burger...

We were so happy to have our taste of the US. Read the blog below to hear about my day!

Our Day at Garden City

2010-01-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

It's Saturday, so we made sure to sleep in nice and late. After a breakfast of banana bread and pineapples dipped in Nutella, I headed out with Janae, Emily, Susan, Linda and Shelby. We were on our way to Garden City which is a big shopping mall filled with fellow Mzungus :) We needed a bit of a change, so we decided to do something very American... go to the mall! We started walking and realized that today, like yesterday, was also going to be a very hot day. Shelby, Susan and I decided to break off from the group and get a matatu ride to Garden City instead of walking for 45 minutes under crazy sun. We are NOT lazy...we walked 6 miles yesterday and at least 2 miles every day of the week. We figured that we would make it to the mall before the other group... We were so wrong.

On the way to the find a matatu, a boda boda (motorcycle) driver stopped us. He tried convincing us for a very long five minutes that we should get a ride with him. We kept telling him that we aren't allowed to ride them and we would get sent home. Shelby thought we should have taped the conversation to show as proof of our commitment to following the rules! I needed to exchange a $100 bill for Ugandan Shillings so we stopped at Western Union and I got almost 200,000UGsh.. Felt rich carrying such big bills! We decided we needed a Fanta (imagine me needing a soda!!) so we stopped at a street vender for one. They made us sit and drink it there so that they could have the bottles to sell back. I woke up with a runny nose and the place didn't have a single napkin for me! We walked down farther to the place where the matatus normally congregate and felt proud for being able to safely cross the street. Then we got into a matatu heading for downtown Kampala.

We were stuck in traffic and my nose was running... I hate the sound of sniffing so I was miserable. Shelby noticed the car stopped next to us had tissues on the dashboard. She leaned out the window and asked if she could have some. The couple was confused at first but then handed her a few tissues which Shelby gave to me. A life saver, but I couldn't believe she did it! But then we were still stuck in traffic and it was really awkward that the car was still next to us. In the city we found another taxi park and asked for matatus to Garden City, a Ugandan guy grabbed my had to show me the way and lead us off. We got dropped in sight of the mall and walked the rest of the way.

At the mall we met the rest of the group that had been there at least half an hour before us. We were going to go get pizza but then we realized that what we thought was Pizza Hut was really Pizza Hot, so we kept looking. Then we found heaven on earth - Cafe Java- a wonderful restaurant with American meals and AIR CONDITIONING. Hopefully this doesn't come out wrong, but the place was full of white people eating burgers and it felt like we were in the US. I got a BBQ burger. It was amazing. Never have I been so happy for a burger. Then we went to the movie theatre but realized the movie times didn't match our schedule, so we shopped instead.

Shelby, Susan and I made the same mistake of breaking off to find a matatu instead of walking home. We got a matatu heading to the center of town which would be near the matatu park that would take us home. We then made another mistake of handing the conductor our money before we got to the destination. almost immediately we stopped and he said we were there. So then the three of us were lost in the middle of the city with no idea where we were. We asked for directions and walked for half an hour and then finally found something familiar and got to the matatu park. we got yelled at for trying to walk through a little cafe to get to the matatus. Then we sat down in the correct vehicle and waited for the thing to fill up with passengers. We were SO happy to finally get home and laugh around the dinner table about our days. The heat probably got to our heads becasue we were all so silly at dinner. (We also announced that the boys will be cooking dinner for us on Valentines day)

Me and a few people watched The Office for a few hours. made me miss Thursday nights at Messiah. Now I am chilling out and trying to cool off. I hope my runny nose goes away. also: Savannah Club where people go dancing and partying burnt down yesterday.. I never got a chance to go :( Now we will have to find a new place!

Sandy got to New Zealand okay, so now all of my school friends are at their study abroad places and we are keeping up through blogs and skype from our different corners of the world. Got to talk to my family just now for an hour. I love hearing from them. Love you guys!

Friday Market is AMAZING!!!!!

2010-01-29T07:59:00.000-08:00

Last night was a lot of fun. After our Owning Poverty session I hung out in my room with my five roommates and we spent hours just laughing and joking. It felt so good to laugh hysterically at ourselves and our difficulties getting used to using "squatty potties". I really love my new friends here. These girls are so great! They should all go to Messiah too!

I also found out something awesome. Susan who is my "travel buddy" (ie. we are responsible for each other when we travel) is from Georgia. When we get back to the states in May we are both on the same exact flight to Atlanta, where I will then fly to Boston! Yay! Now I will have someone to hang out with back in Phoenix and I wont have to say goodbye to all of my friends at once!

We were able to sleep in today because we didn't have morning class- nothing better than that!! After lunch we started walking to class. We immediately felt the heat. Normally it takes at least 5 minutes before we start sweating, but today was EXTRAORDINARILY hot. Our director, Grace, said that this is the hottest it ever gets here. I made a point of using my long stride to get ahead of everyone else so that I could get a seat next to the fan in class. We discussed one of our books for a while, but got let out early because we were hot and tired and everyone wanted to go to Friday market!!

When we got to the guest house I decided I didn't want to go to Friday market because I was really hot and I didn't want to walk 2miles to get there in this crazy heat. The girls convinced me that I should go, so we decided that we would try to find a matatu to ride there. We ended up walking the entire was to the market because for some reason not a single matatu drove past us. It wasn't so bad. At one point we walked passed a group of children who shouted "Mzungu, Mzungu, Mzungu!!!!" at us and followed us for a block. They were adorable.

Friday Market is set up around the train tracks. Tent after tent are laid out on the ground with crafts, clothes, jewelry and other wonderful things to buy. I literally went crazy. Everyone back home knows I LOVE to spend money. Well set me loose in Africa because even though I spent all the money I had on me and bought a ton of stuff, I still only spent about $25. Every person sitting on their mat would call out "Sister! Sister! You are welcome my dear! Come I will give you a good price". How do you resist that?? I bought a dress, necklaces, and some gifts for people at home. When I didn't have any money left I was ready to go back. So we hiked the 2 miles back home again and were late for dinner. Thankfully there was still food left. We sat around the table and talked about the deals we made and the haggling we did. Its funny that we feel the need to haggle things so much when they are still so much cheaper than those things would be sold for in the US.

It's Friday night. Susan is an absolute saint and not only bought Whip It for us all to watch, but also found out who sings our new favorite song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxZfjOh16UI . Check it out. We might chill out here or go to the Savannah Club to dance. It's been an amazing day in Uganda.